previously on Dumbgeons and Dragons.
here's a practice you stir and see this thing like zip over top of all of you i feel like maybe it
sends like ripples of force and that sort of like moves through the demon and then he crashes
to the ground every bone crunching like flesh ripping like falls to the ground and like
huddled mess and then you hear more movement from around and you begin to hear like the
groans of zombies i'm not stunned anymore and then you begin to see them from the light from
tolgears weapon the faces of them coming out of the trees looks like it's time to blow this
popsicle stand yes i say we we need to get out of here you'll quickly climb aboard the magic
carpet and zip off into the air as the scene around you is overwhelmed by maw demons and
zombies
welcome to Dumbgeons and Dragons i'm your dungeon master russ more he him also with me today is
carla max dead she her that is me i play yen bolnuri a kalash tar cleric and amy more
also she her and i play thea amistasia a female high elf druid i don't know why i said female
i was reading off my sheet that's why
and last but not least tom layered he him and i am playing tolgear heavyfoot who is a
mountain dwarf pAlydin who also goes by he him how's everybody doing today i mean today it's a
today it's a podcast people listen during whenever they want at all times i would like to make
a confession off the top so you know how i do all of my spelling phonetically and it is
always perfect yeah well of course so tom has put tolgear in his name in our zoom call and i would
like to tell you that how i spelled tolgear was t-a-l-l-g-e-a-r tolgear tolgear tolgear
that's not dnd enough it obviously is t-u-l-g-i-r duh obviously yeah actually i think
he needs an h in there probably you're right i think i should actually just change it to
tolgear tolgear i mean it's phonetically it's it's almost the same yeah carla i'm just gonna
say you saying that has now helped me remember what tom's character name was because i'm not
gonna lie to you tomsman flint for so long it's hard to remember that just having
tolgear as because when we play another game tom's a dm yeah sure he doesn't even have a
side you're right that's a really good point tom doesn't even have a side we don't know he might
we don't know how you use that word maybe maybe tom has a confession this episode too oh my gosh
huge confession to make guys just when i thought i said all i could say my chick on the side
so what the listener doesn't know is russ has left the room and now all bets are off
i'm singing usher that's just gonna serenade us with usher because that's what happens when
russ leaves the room yeah if i'm gonna tell it then i gotta tell it all i damn near cried when
i got i'm okay guys i'm holding an invisible microphone in front of me her eyes are closed
she's so in it in front of my microphone that's actually in front of me amazing
russ you missed a lot of good stuff you missed so much good stuff great i'm looking
forward to hearing it in the playback you didn't hear down the hall our dog has some
health issues and we have to stop her from eating things so we have to go watch her but she doesn't
like to be watched and i know she's needed to poop for the last six hours but when you
go and watch her she runs back like you're coming to play and then she comes inside so
so russ had to stealthily just watch the dog take a shit wow what a weirdo
i didn't because she found me so oh so she still hasn't gone she still hasn't gone that
must be uncomfortable perfect yeah well we're gonna find out later i guess um did you do any
Patreon stuff like no i just sang usher the whole time oh okay so okay cool well when you're a
patron you get an episode dedicated to you i don't there's no lead into it you just get
an episode dedicated to you come join us on Patreon.com dumb dragon cast like today's patron
jonathan bell thanks jonathan that serenade was for you do you feel special you got the
usher episode oh the fabled usher episode and it like old usher too confessions yeah part two
that's assuming russ didn't have to edit this all out well he can't now we've talked about it
too many times well that's true i know that's that's the key remember that time i sang usher
right just like 30 seconds ago if you have too many callbacks referring to the thing you
can't remove it because then it's ingrained i think yeah there was yeah anyways uh thank
you jonathan yes thank you jonathan thank you jonathan yeah join us today at Patreon.com dumb
dragon cast uh tons of goals over there that we're trying to achieve including a Grancis
Flamikinskins episode dm'd uh by tom amy and carla that's right rotating DMs yeah it's
gonna be a blast everybody does it it's super easy that's right that's what that's what carla
keeps telling herself jazzing herself up for it this can be easy right it's a team effort
it's like tag team dm'ing you just whenever you whenever there's not an idea somebody else just
jumps in with an idea i like that no problem yeah it's just a big who's line it's fine fuck it
let's play your team Yenbul thea and tulgear hey tulgear is a Patreon created name thank
you christian brown for creating tulgear and for tom for playing him thanks christian most
creative patrons thanks christian yeah thanks everybody this is the thank you episode
because it's going to get real dark in just a second yeah um you've been traveling via magic
carpet uh for the last two days you spent a day to get to the point where we ended in the last
episode and then have basically just been in panicked transit to get to luskin you found if
you spent too long on the ground you were quickly found by passing demons or undead and
if you spent too much time in the air you were spotted by vrocks or spirits
or demons you couldn't put a name to thea definitely like creates names for them when
she sees them knowing they're not the real names but definitely is sharing with Yenbul and
tulgear the names that she is now dubbed them do it can you can you tell me some of like
describe to me what i would see yeah um there's one that has large hairy not feathery but hairy
wings that have like claws that stick out at the end not like not like pterodactyl wings
but like huge fingers that come out so it's like two big hands that kind of come together
and like beady red yellow eyes that you can see in the dark and you only see it at night
so you only see this figure this shadowy figure against like the purple light of the moon
and these eyes that just zip like just quickly move around you hairy hands mcbat go on next on
the ground you see they're they're tiny and they there's they they travel in like packs
they're about the size of a uh a large rat they have eight maybe legs you haven't really
gotten close enough or you smash them quick enough to to get a good count on them but they're
covered in scales and spikes and there's something dripping off of them spiny goobers next uh okay
we'll only do one more rule of threes this one is uh you you got caught up in it there was
one night you were you were you were trying you found like this alcove that seemed tucked
away your back was there was only one way in and out of it you thought it was safe but then
these what seemed like cobwebs were around the perimeter but as you'd look away from them they'd
move and be suspended from there was no real canopy or or cavern roof but they were just
suspended in the air so it's like these long stretchy sticky cobwebs that just spin through
the air towards you oh silly strength such a whimsical name i'm glad you've kept some of
your whimsy even though we're in the darkest timeline i'm trying real hard it's nice i i'm
fighting against it needless to say rest has been few and far between the level of panic
and exhaustion and fear that has set in among the three of you is high and some higher than
others so right now we're going to find out exactly how high all of this is we're going to
figure out you know how much damage you've taken from from various battles we're going
to figure out what your level of exhaustion is determining how much sleep you've had
and for those that cast spells which i think is all three of you how many spell slots you've
expended to this point so we're going to go one character at a time and roll a percentile die for
each of those sub sections or percentile dice wants to go first this is fun i can go first
but russ i'm going to need those subsets of information said to me again okay so you're
going to roll for we'll just go one by one here so you're going to roll for hp loss at
this point okay um what if i've already lost hp yeah then you lose more ah
that is a 42 tall gear through battle with a lot of these demons uh over the last three days
has taken an extra 25 damage that you have not regained to this point okay so you may
have regained some through small short rest or something but to this point you have not
regained any okay what's up next levels of exhaustion
35 so you are going to find that you have two levels of exhaustion which means you have not
slept for at least 48 hours the level of exhaustion at two means you have disadvantage
on ability checks and your speed is halved okay uh next one spell slots expended how many
spell slots total do you have uh they go up to fifth level okay uh yeah it it'll still be
fine no matter where you roll on here so roll percentile dice please okay 14 you expend you
can choose where you expend them from but you have expended three spell slots that you have
not regained okay um and then there's one final one for hit dice used all right don't
this timeline i'm sorry everybody please still be my friend no uh that's 62 so you have expended
six hit dice guys i feel like we're playing like a real dnd game where there's actually
consequences and stuff this is not what i signed up i don't like this what kind of long con have
you been running on us for us so many years in and now we're gonna play this real dnd where
we like get psyching damage and get tired and people try and kill us terrible do i have
to use money and stuff correctly i don't track of my arrows and things that's in the lightest
timeline do i need to eat food yeah who's next carla sure so hp loss is first hp loss yes okay
that is 11 so you have lost a total of 15 hp oh good first roll carla yeah i don't know
what did you roll it still is 15 still seems pretty high i rolled a 42 i think which got 25
yeah yeah okay and then exhaustion it's all just percentile you said yeah you got it 72
one level of exhaustion uh which gives you disadvantage on ability checks that means you
haven't slept for uh 24 hours well because i got to be man in that carpet that's true
yep sense makes sense uh spell slots expended okay and you want to know like this one
maybe i use cantrips only exactly this feels i don't like you deciding what spells i've used
three days of battle right so with no you know indistinguishable rest so uh yeah uh
percentile for spell slots okay and you okay uh 32 uh so you've expended and not gained
back two spell slots you can choose from where and then one more for hit die
uh 82 uh you've lost eight hit dice whoa okay good times hey amy no
i don't want to but you got let me make sure i just have my okay yep
okay 20 20 for hp loss you lose 15 15 hit points it's not cool and i was already down 20
uh well i will tell you the max if you rolled between 76 and 99 it could be 75
jesus so all right next one for exhaustion yep 59 uh 59 uh you also gain one level of
exhaustion so disadvantage on ability 24 hours of not sleeping okay spell slots expended 48 you
have expended and not gained back two spell slots they're gonna be first level offie yeah
no what i did eight and nine what are you doing uh carla and then 28 uh 28 is gonna get
you you've lost four hit dice i don't know where to i have nothing i don't write
i don't know i have nothing i don't write those words you quickly meditate i mean it all
it all makes sense right sure sure sure there's your stats that's that's that's just that yeah
sad sad sad sad yeah that's that's it could have been worse yep you guys did yeah it sure
seems like it could have been could have been a lot worse yeah uh yeah yeah yeah we'll just leave
it there okay so on this third day um you uh are are traveling a little well i guess you tell me
on this third day you know that two of you haven't slept for 24 hours um telgir hasn't
like had a you know a decent rest in 48 hours you know you're getting close to luskin
well we've got it we've got to be getting close now how much further do you think it is
i i think you must be right we must be close should we perhaps we should land um until it
gets too dark and try to rest briefly or at least one of us can rest or
even just short amounts of sleep would be would be good guys i
i don't know how much longer we can keep going on like this telgir you haven't slept in like
what like two days at least it's all right well it's been a while
but we've got to what's the alternative we we can't just stop why don't we land here for now
we shouldn't be flying anyway at night why don't we hit the ground telgir grab a quick nap
yen bull and i will keep watch and um and like 30 minutes and then let's keep moving
catnaps short catnaps yes this seems like a good strategy
and i bring the carpet down what is there a clearing or i mean just an area it's not exactly
we don't we don't need i don't need a big launch uh site a long runway you're you're bringing the
the the carpet down to where you think would be a safe place so tell me what you see when
you're bringing it down um i think if it's still like generally kind of forested as it
has been we just look for like a break in the canopy just so that we can can get down
to the ground you come down through the the the thatched canopy of like spindled
um dry dead wood um that's like you clip it with the carpet as it comes down and it snaps
and crumbles to the ground and you you hear it hit down below and you look down and um
it appears like a small clearing there's a bit of an alcove that's covered more by canopy
and it allows you to kind of tuck away and set up not a full camp but enough so that one or
two of you could take a brief rest i think perhaps just to watch one sleep it seems
there are so many creatures i don't know that one person watches enough what do you think
i feel the same way okay tall gear you you sleep we will protect and not draw
penises on your face i didn't even like last time i think that would be a thing but
yeah please please don't i mean it no definitely haven't no and he looks at yen
balloons like tall gear uh crawls into his bed roll and i mean tall gear you tell me
how you deal in this because i mean high stress are you able to even relax in this
moment as a longtime soldier tall gear knows that when you have the opportunity to get rest
you take it so he doesn't have too much trouble getting to sleep tall gears out fairly quickly
leaving you the onion bowl alone as far as the clearing goes like it's you don't see
anything in it it's quiet there is the purple light of the moon it's faint obviously it
doesn't give off the same sort of light that the moon regularly would but it's it's cresting
through this canopy and down to the other side almost illuminating the other side
in this dark dark night that's setting in sounds you hear around you you hear the occasional
branch snap a low almost droning wind like it's not a a wind that gives and takes and
ebbs and flows it's like just this constant drone that just feels like it's moving through the
trees i i wish i could have seen your land before we pass all these forests it must
have been so beautiful it it was the trees were lush everything was green the water flowed clear
the uh kind of touches one of the trees and part of the bark black and ashy crumbles into her hands and
just not much of a crier but you see that little brimming of tears and
we're gonna bring it back yes i i am i'm sorry you have to see it like this perhaps
perhaps i was i was so sad to leave my my home but perhaps it is easier because i cannot compare
this to anything else i did not know what it was like before and now it just must be extra
hard for you in a way that it is not for me i'm sorry for that i don't think any part of
this is easy for anybody but
oh it's
just it just sucks i keep stopping and trying to bring a little bit of it back but
there's got to be more we can do as i try to bring just even the smallest pieces back i can
feel that it's it's it's pulling at at the earth and it's it's going through so much already i
feel like i'm almost doing more harm than good i think it has to be an all all at once or
nothing yes that is it is just more bad news isn't it it is um
i hoped that you would be able to draw power from somewhere where there was more life
but it seems like that must be far away must be
taking from an already dead land to create life is not it feels icky
it feels icky
Yenbul did you hear that was a wind or no no it was stepping it was snapping of branches or
cracking Yenbul's gonna draw her weapon or i guess probably already has her weapon drawn but
sort of gets ready since it has been sort of a non-stop onslaught of real shitty creatures
coming out of nowhere you give it a moment and you too Yenbul begin to hear more than just like
the branches like craning or cracking it sounds heavy but like there's like a almost
like a pointed land to each of these sounds like it's not like a widespread thud it's like
a precision um step and they they are soft and quick at first but then get louder as you hear
um and see branches explode out in front of you illuminated by this purple light there's this
this three legged like the pincer legs like long pointed legs one out in front and two kind of
behind with this almost humanoid figure at the center of these legs and it has one kind of
human arm and its jaw seems like it's been ripped off and its eyes are completely sunken in and it
explodes out into the clearing and is charging towards the three of you zombie crab i kicked
tall gear yeah unceremoniously what a shitty way to wake up yeah no tall gear is like on his
feet in a flash he's ready for ready for anything you yelled out zombie crab yeah and
it's going to charge towards you oh all right um and it's going to try and like stab you with
one of these legs not well uh that's going to be at uh 10 now um and then it's going to
you you feel like this rumble in the air around you uh no that's not a roll that's
a that's a constitution saving throw i'm going to use because i rolled a three so i'm sure seven
doesn't save i'm going to use my lucky point uh the rabbit's foot no that is no i have lucky
points right you've got your feet yeah uh it's my feet yes uh because it was a bad saving
yep uh oh yeah you have disadvantage on ability checks as well
fuck everything are you sure i have disadvantage uh yeah you have one level of exhaustion neat
okay well i rolled an 18 which would have made a 22 but since i didn't it's only an eight
cool cool okay you are uh yeah disappointed in myself tired of this fucking timeline yourself
uh you are frightened of this creature a frightened creature has disadvantage on ability
checks and attack rolls while the source of its fear is within line of sight and you can't
willingly move closer to the source of your uh you can make the save again at the end of your
next turn way to make me useless yeah er right um okay it is yin bowl's turn okay i am going to
cast sacred flame that's a deck save okay uh what level spell is that it's cantrip cantrip okay
uh deck save uh 17 it is 17 uh active versus passive it loses we did this last time
i know those are it's like oh no it's the worst possible outcome we just talked about this
but it was a month ago i still don't understand it was a month ago it's all gone yeah so it
just rolled its ac for that thing so you met it and beat it because you are attacking it okay
so you you win great that's what i thought but i feel like i don't know how anything works
anymore uh different world different world darkest timeline etc etc uh so that is 21
21 type of damage uh radiant damage this thing shrieks out and you see dimly because
of how dark it is but you see like ripples through the air as it looks up and screams
receiving this blinding pain where you strike it this pulls down from the sky and into this and
it looks up into it and you see yeah absolutely through this flame you see like these ripples
of sound or waves of something moving up through this flame displacing it as it's coming
down upon uh this creature anything else you can or would like to do no just one attack for
you're close to thea so it's within melee unless you move oh yeah movement yeah maybe i'll move away
a little bit we were all kind of pretty close together that being said we're surrounded by um
probably now darkness and a million more creatures so i'm gonna like move a bit but
not that much because it's a scary world out there i guess you'd have a little more sight
from the sacred flame too so it would illuminate the area while it's going
you don't see any other creatures um immediately but as this flame goes and rings out and goes
through the air you hear more movement amongst the trees like amongst the canopy but you don't
see anything directly in that moment thea you are afraid so you have to use all movement to
try and get away okay i want to use all my movement to try to get away it tries to attack
you so it tries to attack you for 16 with one of its stabby pincers no good with your stabby
pincer it just like you feel it like cut through like the cloth of uh of your pant leg
as it drives through and down into the ground beside you so you are able to run away uh you
do have disadvantage on any sort of attack rolls or ability checks well i don't plan on
doing any of those things cool beans uh i'm gonna do or try to do no i'm gonna do it's
all about intention yep as my daughter's witchcraft books tells me i'm going to cast
fairy fire on it okay because i don't need to see it to do that it just has to be in range
uh it is it is not a creature you can see no just a 20 foot cube within range
okay yeah cool beans uh sorry what's the safe uh deck safe uh five no it's very fire it
never raised me you guys just in case it was because you had that intention you did it it's
because you intended yeah for those of you who don't speak amy yes that was fairy fire never
works for me you guys that's what i said so now um this crab zombie crombie maybe is uh outlined
in a violet light and sheds this dim light in a 10 foot radius so now we can see more too
as well this thing's totally lit up yeah and any attack roll against an affected creature
has advantage uh okay cool and it can't be invisible but i don't think that's
its thing so just thought i'd say it just in case okay i did a thing you can save your
uh you can use you just you can save to try and not be frightened i'd like to do that
on oh no at disadvantage at disadvantage well
we've got that that one chart now don't we it was a four guys i can't i can't roll higher
get them all out right now that's right yeah it was there was no intention there so that's that
was the problem oh it's true i wasted all my intention well i didn't waste it i just need to
muster up some more you're still front so um tell gear you've got 20 attacks right you
ran away um your back was to the to the forest um it's in front of you so i'm assuming you ran
into the forest yeah okay you are now 30 feet into the forest i don't like it cool tell gear
it's your turn uh well this thing's all lit up for me so i'm gonna i'm gonna walk on up
and give the old slash attack please do uh that's a 19 to hit on the first one uh
disability jigs attack yeah what's your level of exhaustion three oh sorry i forgot about the
disadvantage i figure what was your exhaustion it was two or three okay so two so you don't have
disadvantage on attack rolls but i have speed yeah was i able to reach it yeah so you like
you were all kind of clustered i don't think you like spread out to sleep um so yeah you
would be within range so you're yeah you can make perfect i will also add a second attack into the
mix okay uh that is a 22 uh that will hit i have so many dice out for tonight's game
because i just had a feeling that we all right uh five and nine is 14 four nine is 13 so that
is 27 damage type uh slashing yes that brings it to 69 69 damage that's the sexiest kind of damage
it's the middle and we're here to tell you what's coming up that's right we're your cheese whiz
center what's coming up is really exciting carl we came back to the cheese whiz again i mean we've
yeah yeah yeah i think we've done we've done cheese whiz like three weeks ago four weeks
ago pretty recently pickles sure yeah uh i mean it could just be your thing amy's the cheese
cheese i can't even eat cheese whiz anymore man well then why do you keep bringing it up
is a fun nickname are you sure you don't want it anyway i think it's pretty good
i'll think on it i'll get all my students to call it call me it and we'll just see if it
sticks no see if it's see if it does see that one's gonna stick even if you don't like it though so
careful giving that one to you i mean that's also something you could say about cheese whiz
yeah it's true um but you know who is sticking around but we do like it be and tracy from the
broadswords yeah they're joining us next week here with uh with moot and sully i was really
curious how amy was going to bring it around and i think she like 90 percent did it i feel like
you like really really made it work thanks uh but yeah those those two lovelies from the broadswords
are going to be joining us and it was just a hoot oh it was a hoot and a half it was super fun
sorry you missed it carla i know well i can't wait to listen it'll be my favorite episodes
are the ones where i'm not there talking just you guys are so i'm gonna love it perfect
stuck in that parking lot for some zumba you know sounds right yeah just kind of comes up
sometimes but no we had so much fun um with b and tracy so listen for them yeah next week
and then a couple weeks after that but now let's get you back to this episode where we
are doing stuff still traveling on our way to luskin it's a dark dark forest oh yeah
darkest timeline let's go back there let's let's head back to that little bit of ray of sunshine
yeah now we're gonna send you back into the deep dark the creepy crawlies all right thanks
everybody have a great week it's the creature's turn and it turns and like it emits this shriek
which like chills you to the bone talgir like you you feel like your your the clothes you're
wearing and the armor you're wearing begin to vibrate um as it screams down towards you
uh con save please uh that is a 19 like you get this this like this Glimer of
of complete fear but then steal yourself and it's in its face um and it's uh oh i should mention
t rus i am immune from being afraid then you're not frightened okay perfect i mean you get i just
didn't know what you wanted me to roll for uh yeah um it rolled however a natural 20 as it
stabs down at you with one of these pincer pincer pincers and that's going to be 27
sheepers which is a combination of 20 piercing and seven poison damage oh i'm resistant to poison
damage so you take half of the poison damage so you take four for 24 so 24 okay four four
it is Yenbul's turn okay well i'm just going to uh sacred flame it again okay uh so deck
save uh four okay so he's going to take 15 radiant damage okay so this time the fire pours down
and illuminates the clearing that you're in um thea you're in the trees you're you're
you're not i have no idea what's happening back there so far away you hope you guys are okay uh
you see like you see the light come out and ahead of you i'll tell you what you see and
then i'll get Yenbul and talgir what you see you see ahead of you small creatures you can't
quite describe them like they're not animals they as the light pours out like you see their
eyes and then they turn back and scurry around the trees like they were coming
towards you but then as the light comes they they like shy back um as you their eyes light
up with this light um Yenbul and talgir you see a similar scene that plays out in the canopy
there like you catch out of the corner of your eye these um creatures that look like they have
long claws they have wings on their back um and you see their eyes light up like some
white some yellow and um they like they shy back behind whatever tree they see as the sacred
flame um pours down on top of this um it lets out another shriek and like you smell the burning
flesh of this creature and it like begins to fall to the knees so to speak as it gets closer
down to the ground to you does it smell like dead stuff or like crab no it smells like dead
stuff like decayed material that's being burned gross yeah unfortunate i could have had some fun
like exactly had a melted some butter we would have had a real good time best thing that's
happened to us this whole trip in so long in a decade thea you are 30 feet away you just
see all these creatures now in front of you which stops you you're away from the creature
not looking at it so there's no need to move away from it at this point but you now have
unknown number of creatures in front of you neat yeah okay uh well i'm just going to um
i'm just gonna produce flame in my hands okay and uh ready my action just in case they come
at me again but i'm kind of hoping that the light from my fire will keep them away
even though it's not radiant just so hoping and i'm gonna roll to not be a scaredy cat
okay at disadvantage well that's a one so i'm just gonna stop there cool i think that was
just a saving throw so your produce flame goes up how what's the range on the the light that
it gives off the light that it gives off is a 10 foot radius 10 foot okay your flames go up
and in a 10 foot radius you see um as the sacred flame quickly dies down again you see um these
creatures like peering out like their claws wrapping around trees some of them have like
climbed up scaled up so they're up higher they're looking down like you see the Glimering
off their light you can't quite get look on them it's not bright enough like the the light
seems to like suck up the far you know it's not like it decays off but like it hits that 10
foot mark and then just is like sorry and then there's a dim light another 10 feet no there's
not but as you as you cast it and you're quickly looking around you hear like creaking
noises all around you coming from the trees but they seem to be staying back none immediately
are making moves for you neat thought your hand was up for a high five
sometimes your significant other just puts their hand up for a high five never let me hang it
yeah uh okay well i'm just i'm readying my action to blast some bitches with
my fire in case i need it but apparently i'm still scaredy cat uh of the thing behind you
yes tell gears back to you uh you said this crab is uh looking a little bit worse for wear
it's fallen to its its proverbial knees uh in front of you so the the humanoid figure that
these legs are attached to is like hovering above the ground like a foot above the ground
like this thing was probably standing which i don't think i said but like five to eight
feet taller than any of you um just by its legs but now it's not eye level but closer to
but yeah it doesn't it's the smell of burning decayed flesh and damage is clearly putting
pressure on this creature all right well uh yeah i mean i guess one of is it still under fairy
fire fair fire still good yeah that's not a concentration thing i don't think so or maybe
it is yeah it is concentration but it is the hasn't taken any damage so okay there's
no reason that that should be dropped oh wait all right it's not a concentration
oh you're right it's not all right so my attacks have advantage then correct yes okay
uh first one's going to be a 26 that will hit
second one 31 no yes of course that one is yeah no plus 13 hey high at one point
yeah my current uh attack bonus with my battle axes plus 13 give me that slashing cool all right
what's that like it's good i really like it another character still a tank
a tank who does magic stuff it's a magic tank uh oh and max damage on both the dice rolls
that's fun ah sweet uh so that's 34 damage okay give me give me something cool tell me
how you kill this motherfucker that's disgusting as fuck i gave you a sweet disgusting description
you tell me how you cut this fucker down okay um you know when a crab is undercooked
and you open it up and there's like all that gross shit in there still yeah it's essentially
like that like i swing in with the battle axe and kind of like not scalp it but essentially
like carve the top half off of it and inside is all the disgusting crap gets yeah yeah so
yeah you you carve into this humanoid figure and inside like it you can see it for a brief
moment as like it's begins oozing out and down to the ground as this creature crumbles
and falls in on itself its top half shrieks in the moment it's struck but quickly is silenced
and you're standing there you see you see out of the corner of your eye thea's produced flame
there's a brief moment of silence and then you hear movement in the canopy again around
you what do you do we gotta go guys i continue i keep my produce flame and i start to walk
backwards quickly i don't want to turn my backs on these things um so i'm doing like the whole like
fire everywhere and i and i start walking back quickly to hopefully hop on a magic carpet
that's like been warmed up a little bit yeah ready to go yeah we left it idling yeah let's
just run that a little bit it's cold uh you walk back and you hear the movement like closing
in the as you're walking it's like moving at the perimeter um of this produced flame and you get
back and tolgir and yimble are on the carpet and they like back it up and like take out your
legs underneath you to put you on it does it beep as we back up who do i light on fire as i
flail backwards with my hands out it's magic you're fine oh good and you you land backwards
and then the magic carpet lifts up into the air everybody make a dexterity saving throw i've been
real good at these saving throws lately you guys so i'm probably gonna nail this one these ones
are at just normal yep just rolled a three so that's a six cool guys i can't roll i haven't
rolled more than i haven't rolled a double digit number yet i've rolled probably like
what 11 i mean it's not great amy no uh that's a 12 for me oh jeez no nobody's super high
we're so tired we're so tired these creatures jump out towards you as you lift up through
the canopy and each one of you is struck by these simplicity sake they look like bats but
they're not their wings like i said have like claws that extend out and um and like grab
into your leg or arm or wherever they latch onto
hairy hand mcbat hairy hand mcbats yeah um and they and they clamp onto your leg or arm or
wherever they grab you and quickly move in to bite each of you are going to take nine
piercing damage um and you each have one grappled onto you as you lift up into the
air uh you're above the canopy now but each have a creature on you uh so we'll go tolgear
was the last one to go so yimble you're up next i'm gonna blast it with sacred flame that's
a 17 dex save but i mean it's right there yeah uh that's a three great uh so 16 radiant
damage okay yeah just blast into it that's a single target thing i like the idea of
like you're close enough that your sacred flame could target in this moment just those three
things because they're not high hp um so yeah i think your sacred flame comes down and maybe
they've conveniently each attacked us in the back in the cluster we've somehow like all
turned exterior so we're all facing away the creatures are all in the middle and the sacred
flame can get them all you feel the heat pour over them and they shriek as they release
and fall back down towards the canopy and you zip off as quickly as you can
uh i'm i'm really sorry about back there that was really embarrassing
you could not help this yeah i don't think you had any control over it
also that force so creepy i was in there just surrounded by all those
hairy hand mcbat things and it's just oh they're so creepy and i've ripped my pants multiple times
in just the past short while well i'm sure we'll be able to find a tailor in
luskin but really that's the last of our concerns i swear if we go into luskin
and there are shops and people legit going about their daily lives
oh i mean it would be hard to leave a place like that it it certainly would
the scene of this daydream carries on for an hour or two as you picture a perfect world luskin
i think we spend a lot of our time doing that yeah like remembering like what streets looked
like how things used to be you travel for another couple hours and you crest over this
hill and you hear the crashing sounds of coast as you've kind of come closer to it and you see
over this hill ahead of you a flashing light like it's it's there and then it's gone
and then it's there and then it's gone like a lighthouse maybe
do you do anything before you cross the hill or do you just keep going
how is everyone doing you know health health wise how are you guys feeling it um i mean a
little beat up but nothing i haven't handled before i'm all right okay i'm generally asking
if anyone would need a healing spell at this moment um yeah i also have healing hands that
i can use once per long rest which i haven't had so i guess we'd need to decide if i've
already used that in the last three days that we have been hurt or i can use it now
yeah i have a lay on hands pool too so and can can heal somebody a little bit so based on your
exhaustion level it's been 24 hours since you've had a sleep so in theory you've
likely managed to sleep like every other day so i mean your call i'll leave it up to you
if you think you still have that ability um well i think i maybe have it once yep and then not
again until until we we have it so how hurt are you guys i'm at 87 of 122 where are y'all at
i'm there's no way you have only 122 hit points
you're well i think your sheet fucked up last time and we never fixed oh that did happen
because i'm at 165 and yeah i know 174 i'm at 117 of 165 unless someone's really hurting
i didn't want to waste a spell slot i'm sure i have a potion
yeah mine's um mine is a cantrip so it's not gonna burn a slot i've got potion of healing as
well yeah and mine is literally just a pool of energy that i can draw from sounds like i
should use it on me you should i'm gonna take a potion of greater healing russ i downed my pool
it's it's 85 normally but since i haven't slept for fully for a couple days i've probably used
bits and pieces of it here so i put 45 in there perfect you crest over this hill and you
see this light off in the distance those who have been to luskin probably thea and talgir
ymbol i said i think we said that you haven't been as far north as water deep so you
definitely haven't been to luskin but you see the light coming from the tower of the arcane
brotherhood like a lighthouse spinning at the very peak of it and you look as it passes you
see movement throughout the dark streets of luskin and noise that hits you like a wall
as you crest over this hill and it's the noise and sound of undead
just emanating up and then amidst you catch
just the faintest sound of a coherent sentence and someone screams out
we need to get to the tower quick
all music and sound effects in today's episode can be found at epidemic sound
dot com or boom library dot com a huge thank you to our supporting producers
gabriel lynch mark heartless stevie cat water flame jacob madden christian brown jessica
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week and we'll talk soon things aren't great in world let's just sing some more usher
yeah amy we're looking at you i'm so thrown i don't know what to do but to keep on doing
my confessions back to the same song i wasn't expecting i thought it was for sure it was
gonna be a different one but i like it it was beautiful i'm trying to remember i'm like um
i don't think like scream is a really creepy song that's the only one that comes to my
head right now that's two more usher songs than i could name if you put me on the spot
what's the one where he goes usher usher usher usher is that all of them i would assume it's
all of them yeah okay a real jason terullo situation yeah i know all of his songs then
Dumbgeons and Dragons is a dumb dragons production