[0.0s] Today's episode includes graphic violence, fear, and frightening themes.
[4.4s] Previously on Dumbgeons and Dragons.
[7.3s] Yen Bull, I'm not going to lie to you. I regret going to Kalimport.
[11.9s] Yes, I don't. I feel like perhaps I regret leaving.
[15.4s] No, no, no, no worries. It's just going to take five seconds of your time.
[18.3s] You're going to get home quick.
[20.2s] Her eyes change from panic to hatred.
[24.2s] Well, shit, I don't think that we are friendlies here, my friends.
[27.8s] I feel like we have to get inside.
[29.8s] Please let us in. We need a place to stay for the night. My friend, he's very ill.
[34.2s] It's not just Waterdeep. Where did you come from?
[36.6s] Kalimport.
[37.8s] And is it better in Kalimport?
[39.8s] It's very bad in Kalimport.
[41.5s] We believe that one day we will join the land of the undead.
[50.1s] And any sort of rebellion definitely doesn't exist.
[60.1s] Any thought of rebellion would be immediately found and brought to swift justice.
[70.6s] You can find a sewer opening and manage to get down and into the sewer. You splash down in.
[77.5s] It's not where I expected it to be this morning.
[79.6s] Who's there?
[81.7s] The Decimators of Dragons.
[83.7s] Several locks go, the sound of like magical dispelment happening.
[90.6s] The door swings open and you see Leosa.
[97.1s] Where the fuck have you been?
[107.8s] Welcome to Dumbgeons and Dragons.
[110.4s] I'm your dungeon master Russ Morn. He, him.
[113.0s] With me today is Karla Maxted.
[115.1s] That's me. I just threw my pen across the room. Did you guys all hear it?
[119.0s] I did. Very good Foley work.
[123.0s] I thought you were rolling dice already.
[124.7s] I interrupted you while you were...
[126.5s] Karla was so surprised to be first that just the pen went flying.
[129.3s] I was a little bit.
[130.3s] You were writing your memoirs. You didn't realize the podcast had started.
[134.2s] I play Yen Bol Nuri, she, her.
[139.2s] And Amy More.
[140.8s] That is me. And I play Thea Amastasia, a high elf druid. And both pronouns for me and her are she, her.
[151.0s] And Tom Laird.
[152.4s] Yeah, that's me. I play Flint Firebeard. He is a dwarven champion fighter.
[158.4s] And he also goes with he, him, as do I.
[161.5s] And here we are back in the Darkest Timeline.
[164.4s] Here we are.
[165.2s] Yay.
[168.2s] Yep. Everybody's still so excited, right?
[170.6s] Yay.
[171.4s] Yep.
[171.7s] Well, yeah.
[175.8s] I mean, are we speaking honestly here?
[178.3s] This is a safe space.
[179.0s] Am I just putting on a brave face for everybody?
[181.7s] Yeah, we're in the trust tree. You got friends here.
[185.4s] Not me, but apparently everybody else.
[187.0s] Here's some inside information. It's been an awfully long time since we recorded
[192.5s] with these characters. And I remember why now.
[198.2s] He just wanted to give us a little bit of time to just like move past it. Remember,
[202.6s] we're all very good friends and we love each other very much.
[205.6s] And play a holiday episode. Have some fun.
[208.5s] Exactly.
[209.6s] Russ wanted to wait till I hit send on the Christmas gift order.
[213.0s] Do some bonus episodes, you know, all this fun stuff.
[217.0s] And then here we are back in misery land where you can be in the trust tree.
[223.6s] Nice one, Carla.
[225.0s] It's over at Patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast.
[228.4s] You get to be part of our lovely community. That's all wonderful. It's amazing people.
[232.8s] It is just some of the best humans in the whole world.
[235.8s] It's really, yeah.
[236.9s] This whole last holiday season, whenever I was just like,
[239.8s] I just need to talk to someone who's having it.
[241.8s] You know, I just went into the discord and talked to the community and they're just great
[245.9s] people to just, ah, I love being around them.
[248.8s] And we'd love to have you there too. If you're not already there.
[251.7s] And if you already there, we love having you there. You stay, you stay.
[256.1s] You stay right where you are.
[257.7s] So Patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast. And when you are there,
[260.1s] you get an episode dedicated to you like today's patron, Tyler Ponder.
[264.0s] Thanks, Tyler.
[266.2s] Thank you so much.
[267.9s] We're thinking about you.
[269.8s] Huh? Huh?
[270.8s] Because your last name's Ponder.
[274.3s] It was a joke.
[274.8s] I wonder if Tyler's never heard that joke before.
[279.0s] It's a first. I'm hoping it's a first.
[281.0s] Well, because Russ looked awfully confused.
[283.0s] Oh, I got it. I was just letting it linger.
[285.0s] There's no video evidence to prove that you did.
[286.9s] So that's true.
[288.0s] Exactly.
[288.6s] He looked so confused.
[291.8s] Thanks, Tyler.
[292.6s] Thank you, Tyler.
[293.4s] Thanks, Tyler.
[293.8s] Enough.
[295.2s] Fuck it. Let's play.
[296.7s] Man, you haven't interrupted Russ in such a long time.
[299.4s] It wasn't even intentional.
[300.6s] No, it wasn't.
[301.4s] No, I was like, Tom's going to say something right when I...
[304.6s] No, I did it anyways.
[319.5s] We see a dark night roll out.
[322.3s] Clouds obscure a glowing deep purple black moon.
[326.6s] Movement down side streets of figures trying to stick to the shadows is seen.
[333.0s] We hear Leosin's voice.
[337.3s] It was ten years ago.
[342.2s] Give or take a few months when we sent you down to Calumport.
[348.1s] The signs of Orcus were minimal, as you remember.
[353.4s] As you remember, portals were popping up here and there.
[358.6s] Then, much like you reported, towns and cities began to go dark.
[367.9s] The figures quickly zip across a street as a squadron of undead soldiers march past,
[374.6s] covering each other, keeping eyes open all around their position and watching for scouts.
[381.0s] When I say dark, I don't mean they were empty.
[385.2s] No.
[387.0s] People were still there.
[391.5s] What went dark was communication, trade, taxes, commerce, all of it,
[398.6s] would slowly fade and then one day, stop.
[405.0s] We see the group more clearly now.
[406.9s] We see the group more clearly now.
[409.4s] There are seven of them.
[412.6s] Flint, Yenbul, Thea, Donnie, wrapped tightly around her,
[419.8s] a stout-built dwarf, Tolgir Heavyfoot,
[425.3s] and a pair of assassins, one of them a masked elven woman,
[429.4s] Renisa, and a drow, Halvalu, Egno.
[435.0s] One by one, they file through a damaged portion of the perimeter wall
[439.7s] into the main compLex of Castle Orcus.
[445.8s] Messengers and scouts began disappearing when sent to these towns and cities,
[450.6s] and military squads would go MIA inexplicably.
[456.8s] Those lucky enough to return would tell horrific tales of making it deep into these towns,
[464.8s] too deep to retreat when they found themselves surrounded by the townspeople,
[470.3s] but not the townspeople, undead, shells of the people they once were.
[477.7s] Their factions were driven deeper into the towns,
[481.6s] surrounded, and guided towards a window, a doorway, something that led them to the abyss.
[489.0s] That's when the nights became truly dark, and the moon went out.
[503.4s] Then the wars started.
[508.4s] A door pulls closed with a quiet squeak.
[511.8s] The group silently moves down the halls of the first floor of Castle Orcus.
[517.0s] Pausing at each corner, the air is still.
[521.8s] There's no movement heard anywhere.
[526.5s] Everybody roll for stealth.
[529.7s] Eleven, fourteen, sixteen.
[533.7s] Renisa whispers, just loud enough to be heard.
[538.0s] This is going to be too easy.
[540.2s] Oh, I don't think we say things like that.
[543.0s] It's best not to say things like that before starting it.
[546.0s] I'm sorry, you might be the first to die.
[548.6s] We'll see about that.
[552.7s] The wars were fought all across Faerûn, all across Toriel.
[558.6s] It was an organized effort.
[561.8s] They knew how we would attack.
[563.8s] They knew every weakness, every strength.
[567.9s] They had infiltrated the highest orders, but they toyed with us.
[574.2s] They let us feel like we were gaining ground.
[577.4s] They let us push them back.
[580.1s] They let us think we could win.
[587.5s] Castle Orcus is silent.
[590.9s] As Renisa and Helvelu lead the group up the spiral staircase
[595.0s] toward what once was Lady Leryl Silverhand's office.
[600.0s] Now the presumed chambers of Lord Vorunax and his right hand Lipsinki.
[607.4s] At the top, a doorway stands between the group and the chamber.
[612.6s] A deep black-purple glow comes from beneath the door.
[618.7s] Helvelu stops and moves to check the lock.
[625.4s] Someone roll a d20 for Helvelu's sleight of hand, please.
[630.6s] Should we all roll it and take the best one?
[633.0s] Nope, one person.
[633.6s] I will not roll.
[638.1s] Sixteen.
[642.1s] They tore us down mentally before breaking us physically.
[646.9s] We knew nothing except defeat was possible.
[649.9s] The wide portals.
[653.5s] That'll be the understatement.
[656.0s] Gateways or replacements of existence.
[662.1s] Where there was world and earth and water was only pain and dread.
[671.2s] The abyss was here.
[673.7s] And it's all we could see.
[675.7s] The hordes, they came and they consumed.
[679.7s] The spirits took down anything in the sky.
[683.3s] We were driven back to Waterdeep,
[685.7s] where whoever was left had to make our final stand.
[691.0s] But when all you see is death, how do you win?
[699.5s] The door slowly opens before our group.
[704.2s] Renisa speaks up.
[706.2s] Where? Where's the book?
[708.8s] It's supposed to be here.
[710.6s] The Demonomicon, it has to be here.
[714.2s] She rushes into the room, a room that was once adorned with fine furnishings and tapestries.
[720.5s] Now looks to be just a void, with a single pedestal in the center.
[728.3s] Renisa approaches the pedestal and looks down at it and freezes.
[735.5s] What is it?
[736.1s] That's when she raises her head.
[741.6s] No, no, no, wait, wait, no, wait.
[747.9s] She keeps raising it.
[751.4s] Until you hear her spines snap.
[755.3s] The bones twist and crunch as her head contorts towards you.
[761.4s] The dark, booming voice echoes out.
[765.2s] Thea, Yenbul, Flint, it's about time you arrived.
[771.6s] Now the real fight begins.
[775.8s] A scream rings out.
[777.8s] A blood-curdling scream.
[781.4s] Lady Laryl Silverhand was rushed away before the city was entirely overrun.
[787.1s] She was sent to find help, find salvation, but she hasn't been seen or heard from since.
[797.0s] Lord Neverember and King Melandrich were taken prisoner and
[802.0s] converted or executed publicly for all to see.
[820.1s] Anthar Frum, myself, and a few others fled here after a time and established
[827.2s] the wards that make our hold invisible to Orcus and Vorunax.
[832.3s] A little news has come from Silvery Moon or Mithril Hall,
[838.3s] and only rumors of safe zones come from the Sea of Swords.
[844.0s] You bring the first concrete information from anywhere outside Waterdeep in a long, long time.
[851.8s] The group of you turn, and you see Flint scream and fall motionless to the ground.
[859.8s] His breathing is labored and faint.
[863.5s] You see his scales lift and shimmer and static sparks through them.
[870.0s] You hear a wisp in the night outside windows of Floor Down,
[875.8s] and you hear a crash of several doorways below and the cacophonous wails of undead moaning.
[883.4s] Helvelu yells, the floor below, now!
[887.1s] Tullgeir helps you lift Flint as you move down the stairs to the next floor,
[892.2s] the sound growing immensely.
[898.2s] We need that book.
[900.5s] The Demonomicon of Igwilu.
[903.8s] It was there, and it has to be there still.
[907.7s] It can get us to Orcus, to Vorunax, and bring the fight to them.
[914.4s] The door slams shut.
[916.0s] Helvelu and Telgeir are buckling up satchels to their backs.
[920.5s] Helvelu says, that carpet flies, right?
[924.3s] Yes, the carpet can fly.
[926.7s] Telgeir finishes strapping up his satchel.
[929.8s] The two of them jump out windows and are quickly followed by shadows that you see zip behind them.
[936.1s] What, are we supposed to just find the Demonomicon on our own?
[938.7s] Are we still looking for it?
[940.0s] I don't understand.
[941.0s] Are we supposed to look?
[943.1s] We look for the book here with the undead, or we fly on the carpet?
[948.0s] What do you think?
[949.5s] There's nothing in this room, and there's a whole lot of...
[951.9s] What do you think?
[953.6s] There's nothing in this room, and there's a whole lot of
[956.0s] moaning and weirdness going on out there.
[957.7s] I say we get on that carpet.
[961.0s] Yes, I agree.
[961.8s] We need to get Flint somewhere safe.
[963.6s] Maybe, I don't know, go back to home base, and Leosing can help?
[969.3s] I don't know.
[971.1s] So I'm going to remember how the carpet works.
[974.1s] I think I have to say something, so let me just look.
[978.3s] As she's trying to remember the words to her magic carpet,
[981.7s] can I...
[985.3s] I would like to do something to Flint.
[989.8s] I would like to draw a dick on his face.
[993.8s] Actually, I would like to cast Cure Wounds on him.
[996.2s] Can I do that?
[998.0s] Yes.
[998.3s] I can do whatever I want.
[999.7s] Is that what you're going to say?
[1000.6s] Yeah, I want to Cure Cast Wounds on him.
[1002.8s] No, I want to cast Cure Wounds on him.
[1004.7s] Fuck you guys.
[1005.2s] I want to Cure Cast Wounds.
[1006.3s] I want to Cure Cast Wounds on him.
[1009.8s] Please, now.
[1010.3s] Okay, do it.
[1011.0s] Okay.
[1011.6s] I'm not even going to roll because it doesn't do anything, does it?
[1014.1s] No.
[1014.6s] Fuck.
[1015.6s] I just, you know what?
[1016.6s] Because often I forget that I can heal people.
[1019.5s] Because I'm so used to playing Sully, I was just like,
[1021.6s] damn, let's get him on this carpet and get out of here.
[1024.2s] Yeah, I'm not going to try to fix him.
[1028.2s] Flint, you're on your own.
[1030.2s] You cast Cure Wounds on Flint and nothing appears to happen.
[1035.7s] So I take out the carpet and say,
[1037.8s] it's here and it starts to float.
[1040.6s] So I assume B and I manhandle Flint up onto the carpet.
[1049.1s] Or just put the carpet on the ground, roll him onto it.
[1053.1s] But it would work better, probably.
[1054.8s] In the end, it would be better for him.
[1056.9s] But I mean, it would be more comical if the carpet was about four feet off the ground
[1060.9s] and there was a lot of flopping going on to get him onto the carpet.
[1065.8s] Yeah.
[1066.2s] You could do it when they stretcher athletes where they stabilize them
[1070.5s] and then move one side ever so slightly and slide the board under them.
[1074.5s] Yes, exactly.
[1075.6s] Yeah.
[1076.1s] OK, you do so.
[1077.5s] And we fly out the window.
[1079.0s] Can we fit with the carpet out the window?
[1080.6s] Yeah.
[1080.9s] OK, good.
[1081.8s] Yeah.
[1083.2s] Good question.
[1084.4s] It's a big window.
[1085.2s] You zip out into the night.
[1087.0s] You see up ahead the faint shadow of your two friends being pursued
[1096.5s] by what looks like a wispy, shadowy demon.
[1100.6s] They themselves have large gliding wings that have protruded from their back
[1106.8s] and appear to be in like a dogfight with this demon.
[1113.1s] Do you think we should go help them?
[1115.4s] I don't know.
[1116.0s] Did they go so that we could escape?
[1119.3s] I don't want to negate their sacrifice,
[1123.0s] but I also don't want to not help if they need our help.
[1126.0s] I certainly don't want people to be sacrificing themselves for us,
[1128.9s] but I guess they wouldn't have come
[1132.0s] if they didn't think that they were prepared for the inevitability of a fight.
[1136.6s] I think we need to get Flint somewhere.
[1138.7s] I think so, too.
[1139.8s] I wish they communicated better about what they needed us to do.
[1143.0s] I would go fight if they need us to,
[1144.6s] but I think we should get Flint somewhere to help.
[1150.2s] So you're flying above the city currently.
[1152.7s] You need to get into the sewers.
[1154.7s] How are you traveling to do so?
[1158.4s] Are you flying to a known location to then drop down?
[1161.4s] Are you going through the streets?
[1163.3s] Where are you piloting?
[1166.0s] So questions.
[1168.6s] Clearly where we left before was us meeting Leosan.
[1173.0s] At the door.
[1174.2s] After getting past the sewer ducts.
[1175.9s] Yes.
[1176.6s] So how long has it been since then?
[1181.5s] Because the period of time will help us know
[1183.8s] how much we would have learned from him
[1185.4s] about these baddies and what we're up against
[1188.1s] and the layout of the city.
[1189.5s] Where the safe zones are.
[1190.9s] Yeah, exactly.
[1191.7s] Other entrances to the hideout or whatever.
[1195.0s] The rules of not leading anyone back to the secret hideout.
[1199.9s] I mean, do we talk about Fight Club?
[1202.0s] No.
[1203.1s] We've already broken rule one and two.
[1206.3s] I would say probably at most 24 hours.
[1210.7s] So you would have been given base information
[1215.0s] on what types of demons you might run into.
[1219.0s] How to get in and out quickly.
[1222.7s] The least conspicuous places.
[1225.3s] Most of which involve travel through the sewer.
[1228.1s] There would be one you'd have to go into the Yawning Portal,
[1234.2s] but also one of the more dangerous ones.
[1237.8s] One of the least expected ones,
[1239.2s] but one of the more dangerous ones
[1240.6s] because the Yawning Portal you would have known that...
[1246.8s] I mean it's been taken over by demons.
[1248.6s] It's a direct C down to the Undermountain
[1251.0s] which is more ripe with Underdark and Portal access.
[1258.2s] Well, I don't want to go somewhere too dangerous
[1262.2s] with Flint the way he is.
[1266.4s] I'm not going to say he's the best fighter out of all of us, but...
[1271.4s] But he certainly is the best fighter out of all of us.
[1276.2s] Also, unfortunately, probably the heaviest.
[1279.8s] And now we have to care for him and thank God for the carpet.
[1284.6s] Um...
[1286.8s] Should we go the way we came, maybe?
[1289.4s] Yes, I think so.
[1290.7s] Okay.
[1291.8s] You're skimming along rooftops
[1293.3s] getting back to the sewer entrance where you came
[1295.4s] when you hear a wail from behind you.
[1298.2s] And you turn and you look
[1299.3s] and you see another one of these demons
[1302.0s] zipping quickly towards you.
[1306.0s] Roll for initiative.
[1307.8s] Ooh, 19.
[1309.9s] Uh, 12.
[1312.3s] You see the demon coming towards you.
[1314.1s] Thea, you are up first.
[1315.8s] You know you have a ways to go.
[1319.5s] You have four rounds before you get to the sewer entrance
[1323.1s] where you need to be.
[1324.3s] Okay.
[1324.9s] You see this demon coming up behind you.
[1326.7s] It's within 30 feet.
[1328.6s] What do you do?
[1329.7s] Um, I would like to cast Moonbeam on its Eos.
[1339.7s] Yeah.
[1341.3s] At fourth?
[1344.2s] No.
[1346.6s] Fifth level.
[1347.8s] That, um, bitch needs to take a Constitution saving throw.
[1352.0s] Where does Moonbeam pull its power from?
[1356.0s] Kind of a do-over, I wasn't thinking.
[1359.0s] Well, you wouldn't have known, so...
[1361.9s] It says, a silvery beam of pale light
[1365.3s] shines down in a five-foot radius
[1367.2s] centered on a point within range.
[1370.8s] I mean, it doesn't necessarily say it comes from the moon.
[1374.2s] Just looks like moonlight.
[1375.5s] It just looks like moonlight.
[1378.7s] Okay.
[1379.2s] Because I can cast this inside.
[1381.4s] And during the day.
[1382.6s] And during the day.
[1385.2s] That's right.
[1386.4s] It is just a spell.
[1388.2s] It requires several seeds of any moon seed plant,
[1394.0s] which I have in my pouch,
[1396.2s] and a piece of opalescent feldspar.
[1399.0s] I don't know what that is.
[1401.0s] Its power comes from moon seed,
[1403.0s] as opposed to the lunar power.
[1404.8s] The moon, yes.
[1406.0s] Okay, that's all I was looking for.
[1406.8s] It's a plant!
[1408.0s] Yeah, cool.
[1410.9s] That's what I was looking for.
[1411.4s] I was like, not today.
[1412.9s] Not today.
[1413.8s] Russ is not taking away fifth level spell for me today.
[1417.2s] It's from a plant.
[1418.6s] Okay, cool.
[1419.3s] Constitution saving throw.
[1421.3s] Do it.
[1422.2s] 10 plus 1 is 11.
[1423.8s] Not good enough, my friend.
[1425.7s] 5d10 radiant damage.
[1428.4s] Here we go.
[1430.4s] 17.
[1432.6s] On a possible 50.
[1436.0s] She rolls a 17.
[1437.8s] The light of your moon beam illuminates the entire area.
[1447.7s] And shines for blocks.
[1452.4s] It says, hold on a second.
[1454.3s] Wait, please.
[1455.7s] It says a silvery beam of pale light shines down on a five foot radius.
[1460.3s] And it's a 40 foot high cylinder centered on the point, which is the dude ghost thingy.
[1466.6s] Until the spell ends, dim light fills the cylinder.
[1470.4s] Yeah, but this is a different world with a weird demon and it's so dark.
[1475.6s] And it's so dark because there's no moonlight or streetlights or anything.
[1480.8s] Fine.
[1482.0s] And strikes this demon and you see its skin boil and it screams
[1489.4s] as it charges towards you.
[1492.8s] You have a second attack, don't you?
[1494.4s] Do you want to do anything with that?
[1495.8s] I can't cast a spell, but can I shoot an arrow at this wispy bitch?
[1501.3s] You can try.
[1502.6s] That's a wispy bitch.
[1505.8s] Now that it's so illuminated, you see the demon for what it is.
[1510.3s] It has large black tattered wings.
[1514.4s] Huge black horns coming up out of its head.
[1517.7s] Teeth that close in from the sides of its mouth and dark red eyes that Glimer.
[1526.2s] And you see its long arms that extend far longer than its body.
[1532.6s] I don't like it. What is it?
[1533.8s] You got to roll to find out what it is.
[1535.5s] Well, I'm not going to waste my action on that.
[1538.2s] It doesn't care what it is right now.
[1539.4s] Pulls out a scroll, starts doing some research.
[1543.2s] Let me scribe for a moment, please.
[1545.6s] All right, so, uh, Thea pulls out her oath bow,
[1550.1s] and she says, um, it's with death to those who've wronged me.
[1554.6s] And let's fly an arrow and it's going to hit because I rolled a 16.
[1563.0s] Without any bonuses or with bonuses?
[1564.8s] With a bonus.
[1565.5s] 16 does hit though.
[1566.8s] Oh, my bonus was eight.
[1570.1s] It hits. Fantastic.
[1572.5s] I have not rolled a d8 in so long that I saw one d8 and I was like,
[1575.8s] there's an eight sided dice.
[1581.6s] We're so good at this, guys.
[1582.8s] I rolled a fucking one plus two is a three.
[1587.2s] That's right.
[1588.6s] And something also happens because it's an oath bow.
[1591.7s] My target gains no benefit from cover other than total cover,
[1595.6s] and I suffer no disadvantage due to long range.
[1599.3s] Oh, and if my attack hits, my sword enemy takes an extra 3d6 piercing damage.
[1604.5s] It's important to read all your stuff.
[1606.2s] Seems like good information I have.
[1607.8s] That was a six.
[1609.9s] Oh, that was a two.
[1611.8s] Oh, that's another two.
[1613.5s] Ten damage.
[1615.0s] That's better than three.
[1616.6s] Yeah, it's a good thing I read the rest of that, right?
[1618.7s] I was just like, well, I'm done reading now.
[1620.6s] Who would have guessed reading things would pay off?
[1623.0s] Right? Says the teacher.
[1625.3s] The demon rushes towards you,
[1627.8s] moving through the walls that you're trying to weave around
[1632.6s] and reaches out to I assume you're like on the back where.
[1637.2s] Oh, yeah, because I think that is like steering.
[1640.4s] You've got to buy the tassels, right?
[1644.6s] I don't know.
[1645.0s] I'm picturing like Alydin trying to escape the cave of wonders.
[1647.8s] It's rolled up towards like you're about to do,
[1650.3s] like a crazy carpet.
[1654.2s] I don't know.
[1654.5s] I guess you tell me, do you need to physically steer it
[1657.5s] or can you guide it?
[1658.8s] I don't know.
[1660.0s] That's a really good question.
[1661.9s] I don't know.
[1662.6s] Let me see if it says before I just start making shit up.
[1667.7s] It moves according to my spoken directions.
[1671.0s] So you do have to pay attention to where you're going.
[1673.1s] Left, right, left, right, left, right, left.
[1678.2s] OK, so you do have to still pay attention to what you're doing.
[1681.2s] But I don't have to physically steer it.
[1684.6s] I'm not like encumbered by steering.
[1687.0s] Cool.
[1688.0s] OK, this thing zips up behind you
[1691.2s] and is going to try to claw attack you.
[1695.4s] Bring it.
[1696.4s] However, because of the light from your moon being so bright,
[1700.9s] it has disadvantage.
[1703.4s] That's a 12 to hit you.
[1705.8s] It's not going to work.
[1707.4s] All right.
[1710.0s] Doesn't believe me.
[1711.8s] Tom, tell me what happens.
[1715.1s] From, I guess, maybe above.
[1719.4s] All of a sudden you see like this streak in the sky
[1723.4s] and you look up and you see Telgir Heavyfoot hand axe out,
[1729.5s] like just barreling towards this shadow demon through the air.
[1735.1s] And I'll roll to attack.
[1737.4s] First one is a 17 to hit Russ.
[1740.6s] Yes, sir.
[1742.9s] Second one.
[1743.8s] Oh, isn't that 20?
[1745.1s] Telgir's fucking bringing it.
[1747.1s] All right, roll it.
[1749.3s] All right, here we go.
[1750.6s] It's like the most successful kind of success.
[1752.8s] It's the most successful one.
[1754.2s] First one, Russ, that is 12 slashing damage.
[1760.9s] And then the second one, 15 slashing damage.
[1766.0s] Tell me what it looks like when Telgir kills this demon.
[1770.1s] Yeah, as I say, he's streaking through the sky.
[1773.7s] First hit, he lands on the carpet beside you guys
[1779.0s] as he attacks this thing.
[1781.3s] First attack slashes it somewhere around the head and shoulder.
[1786.3s] And then second one, he just throws that axe right in the old neck
[1792.2s] before he wiggles it free.
[1794.1s] Oh, you're going to say knees and toes.
[1796.5s] Shoulder.
[1797.7s] The demon falls to the ground in a crumpled heap.
[1801.2s] You see it fall as you zip ahead.
[1803.6s] You fly back to the sewer where you entered
[1807.5s] and get back down and in just missing a patrol of undead.
[1812.3s] I immediately stop my moonbeam.
[1816.3s] Just so no one falls in through the light.
[1818.6s] Once you're out of combat.
[1819.4s] Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[1821.4s] I just figured I'd say it because sometimes Russ is like,
[1824.5s] he never said you put away your beam.
[1836.9s] We're in the middle now.
[1839.4s] Hey, everybody.
[1840.3s] Seemed like a real quick middle song.
[1842.8s] Yeah, I was going to say we're surrounding business.
[1845.8s] 2021 business.
[1848.3s] Strictly business.
[1849.4s] 2021 strictly business.
[1851.4s] Newsletters and business.
[1852.5s] Check out our Discord for all the amazing announcements
[1854.7s] that we did not make about our newsletters.
[1857.8s] The others have made about our non-existent newsletter.
[1861.7s] Yeah, so we haven't had the business meeting yet.
[1867.2s] What we do have going on this month and every month
[1869.8s] is very exciting.
[1870.9s] We have this thing called Game Time
[1873.4s] and it is where we get to play games with you.
[1876.9s] Arguably one of the best days in the month.
[1879.4s] True.
[1879.9s] Absolutely.
[1880.8s] One of our favorite days in the month.
[1882.6s] This month, I am running a game for three of our patrons plus Carla
[1887.8s] and we have room for one more patron, one more person.
[1890.9s] If you're not a patron yet,
[1891.8s] you could become a patron and come play a game with us.
[1894.0s] Yeah, you could become a patron.
[1896.1s] You could just upgrade and then you're there.
[1898.2s] We would love to have you have a full table and play that game.
[1904.9s] Okay, here's the pitch.
[1907.0s] It's going to have excitement.
[1909.0s] It's going to have a little bit of an espionage, sneak around spy feel.
[1915.0s] It's going to have lots of fights.
[1918.3s] It's going to have witty banter and probably a sandwich.
[1926.5s] If you bring a sandwich to your game.
[1928.1s] Oh, okay.
[1929.0s] So the sandwich is up to you.
[1930.8s] It's BYOS.
[1931.8s] Yeah, optional sandwich.
[1933.7s] I mean, this all sounds delightful.
[1935.4s] But yeah, it'd be really awesome if you could join
[1938.0s] because I mean, we'd have a full table, which is always really exciting.
[1942.7s] Plus, we love to just see and interact with all of you.
[1947.3s] It is super fun.
[1948.1s] And every month game time is different.
[1950.4s] We have a rotating GM spot and a different cast member every month,
[1955.6s] maybe more than what's even advertised sometimes.
[1959.1s] So that's very fun to keep you guessing.
[1961.4s] Totally.
[1962.1s] Plus, if you're at that Patreon level,
[1963.8s] you still get like all the stuff below that.
[1967.7s] So it's like all the stuff.
[1970.2s] And this month's game is going to be played on January 28th
[1973.5s] at 630 p.m. Pacific, 930 p.m. Eastern again with myself and Carla.
[1981.3s] And yeah, all that other stuff that comes along with being a patron.
[1983.8s] You're going to find if you're new to Patreon and that's where you start,
[1986.7s] you're going to find that there's a whole lot of stuff there
[1989.0s] that we're very excited about sharing with you.
[1992.1s] And hopefully that there's a place for you.
[1994.1s] If it's not there, come check us out.
[1995.5s] We've got a whole bunch of other great tiers
[1996.9s] with tons of other amazing stuff as well.
[1999.3s] Okay.
[1999.7s] Hope to see you soon.
[2000.8s] Have a great one.
[2003.9s] Have a non-specific time of day.
[2006.1s] That's right.
[2007.4s] And get back to this episode.
[2008.6s] Okay.
[2008.9s] Talk to you later.
[2009.4s] Okay.
[2009.6s] Bye.
[2009.9s] Bye.
[2010.6s] Bye.
[2015.0s] You get back down to the sewers and
[2017.7s] Tulgear helps you, I assume, carry Flint back to the stronghold.
[2024.5s] Leosin?
[2025.3s] Did you find it?
[2026.2s] No.
[2027.5s] Where?
[2028.0s] No, and Flint, we need help.
[2031.4s] A few people come over and carry him over to a cot
[2035.1s] and lay him down and begin checking him over.
[2039.8s] Where's Renisa and Helvelu?
[2042.7s] I mean, she didn't make it.
[2045.2s] We got to the room where we thought the book would be
[2048.2s] and there was no book and something happened to Renisa and-
[2053.3s] And there was a familiar voice and then her head
[2057.4s] and then Flint just started screaming and dropped to the ground and-
[2063.0s] But the book?
[2064.6s] There was no book.
[2066.3s] The book wasn't there.
[2068.6s] Fuck!
[2075.2s] How do they know our every fucking step?
[2080.1s] You got a mole?
[2081.6s] Fuck, I don't know.
[2082.5s] We had moles from the fucking beginning.
[2090.0s] They're checking Flint.
[2093.5s] Are you okay?
[2095.3s] Well, apart from really shaken at the most emotion I've ever seen you
[2101.3s] have, yes.
[2103.4s] It's been a rough 10 years.
[2105.7s] You know what?
[2107.0s] Yeah, I was going to say I get it.
[2108.5s] I don't get it.
[2109.6s] I don't get anything.
[2111.6s] But what if just right now we go back?
[2118.2s] Go back where?
[2118.8s] You have any other idea where the book could be?
[2122.8s] If you will go look again.
[2123.8s] It was supposed to be there.
[2125.2s] What was there?
[2127.0s] A pillar of nothing.
[2128.5s] And when Renisa went up to this pillar, an invisible thing just killed her.
[2140.8s] And then hordes of undead were unleashed.
[2148.4s] We could hear them screaming throughout the building, and we had to get out of there.
[2154.5s] I don't know where else it would be.
[2157.0s] If you go back now, they will...
[2160.2s] If you heard undead coming up anywhere, they're going to expect you.
[2166.7s] Would they though?
[2167.4s] Maybe this is the best time.
[2171.5s] They wouldn't expect us to go back right away.
[2173.5s] It's so foolish.
[2174.7s] And nobody else knows.
[2176.6s] In here, if you do have a mole, somebody's telling them.
[2179.8s] If we go back now, there's not enough time for anyone to communicate.
[2184.4s] Okay.
[2185.0s] You want to go back?
[2186.0s] No, not really.
[2186.8s] I just, I don't have another plan.
[2188.2s] I'm worried about Flint.
[2189.0s] Got to keep busy.
[2190.7s] A woman comes over and kind of whispers in Leosan's ear,
[2198.5s] says, I don't know about Flint.
[2200.2s] He's unconscious.
[2201.0s] He's not responding.
[2202.0s] He's breathing.
[2203.4s] He has vitals.
[2205.4s] Maybe this thing that's happening to him is happening now.
[2211.8s] Oh, it did.
[2212.7s] I like, no.
[2216.9s] Well, no, because I was like, that doesn't make sense at all.
[2219.9s] What the fuck kind of sentence is that?
[2221.8s] And then I was like, oh, maybe it's his whole dragon thing.
[2228.4s] Maybe that's happening right now.
[2231.6s] At least you haven't changed.
[2233.5s] Well, you know, hasn't been as long for me.
[2236.1s] Just wait.
[2236.6s] I'll become jaded and grizzled like you.
[2238.5s] Sweet.
[2239.0s] Can't wait.
[2242.6s] Thea, isn't there, you've got the gem.
[2245.9s] Can we do, is it too late to do
[2249.1s] whatever you were trying to do to save him before?
[2253.9s] The whole reason we came here was to help Flint.
[2257.1s] And if this is happening now, I mean, we've got the amulet.
[2261.3s] We need the arcane brotherhood.
[2266.3s] Is that possible?
[2271.0s] Well, there are rumors of them in the North.
[2280.1s] How far North?
[2281.7s] Well, they were based in Luskin,
[2283.5s] and the rumors were that they went farther into the Sea of Swords.
[2290.4s] We couldn't possibly travel with Flint like this.
[2295.8s] I don't think Flint's traveling anywhere.
[2299.5s] Tollgear's with you now.
[2301.0s] Okay, well, listen, it's not just a,
[2303.4s] any dwarf can take his place kind of thing.
[2306.6s] If you need extra hands.
[2308.2s] No, I'm totally fine with extra hands.
[2310.6s] I'm just sensitive right now.
[2313.0s] So what, we go, we find the arcane brotherhood,
[2315.2s] we bring them back here?
[2316.7s] Maybe they tell you what you need to do.
[2320.0s] God, I wish phones were invented.
[2326.2s] Or like pigeons, even.
[2327.9s] Come on.
[2330.3s] Talk it over.
[2331.7s] I'm going to go try and figure out what I can do next here.
[2335.2s] He turns, and you hear him scream,
[2337.0s] Onthar, fuck!
[2340.7s] I only exchanged letters with Leosin,
[2342.7s] but I never thought he would be so-
[2345.0s] No, he's not.
[2345.9s] This isn't him.
[2348.0s] He seemed so sweet and maybe a bit particular.
[2352.6s] Yeah, and a little reserved.
[2355.0s] Yes.
[2356.0s] Nope, nope, that all,
[2357.6s] that all went out the window a while back.
[2359.7s] What's your name again?
[2367.8s] Tullgear, heavyfoot.
[2369.0s] Tullgear, right, sorry.
[2371.5s] There's a lot going on.
[2374.4s] You'll ever jump ahead 10 years,
[2377.1s] and then the whole world is completely fucked when you get there?
[2380.2s] That's kind of what we're dealing with.
[2382.5s] Nope, can't say that I have,
[2384.5s] but you know your door friend there,
[2387.8s] he's tough.
[2388.7s] They'll keep him comfortable here.
[2390.3s] You have some time.
[2391.4s] How do you feel about going on a journey,
[2394.2s] dangerous, perilous, likely might not survive,
[2398.2s] in order to find maybe people who might be there,
[2402.3s] who could possibly have information,
[2404.5s] who could save a guy who has nothing to do with you,
[2408.6s] and then somehow get back in time before said guy dies?
[2414.2s] Does that sound like a good quest for you?
[2416.8s] I mean, I'm happy to help with anything.
[2418.8s] I've been around a while.
[2420.6s] As you can see, one of my eyes isn't so good as it used to be.
[2425.2s] I'm probably on borrowed time at this point,
[2427.2s] so if I can help you guys out, I'll happily do it.
[2432.1s] Did you design him as a one week left from retirement kind of character?
[2436.2s] Because that's how it's done.
[2437.6s] Not entirely, but he does have a whitened eye,
[2440.9s] and he's missing a finger or two,
[2442.6s] so maybe give a description of Tulgear here as we see him.
[2449.2s] Tulgear Heavyfoot is a patron submitted name
[2452.2s] for a character here from Christian Brown.
[2455.2s] Tulgear is a little oblivious when he's not focused on a plan,
[2461.0s] so sometimes things can go over his head.
[2465.0s] He's got white hair.
[2467.0s] He's got one whitened eye,
[2468.7s] so his left eye is just not exactly as great as it used to be.
[2473.6s] But yeah, he's got dark skin, left eye completely whitened.
[2477.3s] He's also missing his left ring finger, salt and pepper hair.
[2482.2s] He's on the older side of things for a dwarf at 310 years old,
[2488.2s] and he has a bit of an aura to him.
[2492.6s] What color would you call his aura?
[2494.5s] I wouldn't say it's white, but something white adjacent.
[2499.1s] Hmm, a cream aura.
[2501.2s] I get you.
[2502.9s] He also has an amulet around his neck
[2504.9s] that has the image of a set of scales resting on a war hammer.
[2510.2s] Well, if you're offering your help, we will gladly take it.
[2515.0s] As long as you're not the mole.
[2518.6s] I mean, we've had a very serious problem with that.
[2521.5s] It's not really something to joke about here.
[2524.9s] Yeah.
[2526.4s] Well, shall we go?
[2527.5s] If you guys are waiting on me, I'll just all I'll be right there with you.
[2531.6s] You are the expert of this place, so it would be very helpful to have you with us.
[2539.4s] And Yen Bull, you're still on this wild ride with me.
[2545.0s] She asks desperately for the person who has a vehicle in which to travel.
[2552.2s] That isn't a giant bird.
[2553.4s] I am here and this is the world, so.
[2556.0s] The only people I know are you and Leosin and Flint.
[2559.2s] I must try to help.
[2562.1s] Thank you.
[2562.6s] And you, Pulgare.
[2565.0s] I know you now too.
[2566.2s] What about Dawn?
[2569.1s] Yeah, I mean, I'm here too.
[2570.5s] She doesn't really know me.
[2571.4s] I've been sleeping for like, I don't know, it seems like 10 years.
[2574.6s] You've been real quiet.
[2576.1s] Well, there's a lot going on.
[2577.7s] Yeah, I don't blame you.
[2578.9s] I was in a maze thing, and then I found you,
[2583.2s] and then I found you, and then I was in a bag thing.
[2586.0s] Well, I think I found you.
[2589.0s] We found each other.
[2590.2s] Debatable.
[2591.1s] And then I was in a bag thing, and then I slept for a long time,
[2595.5s] and then I was in a sewer thing, and now I'm here.
[2599.8s] So you are ready to hit the open road, or the underground road?
[2604.6s] Tulge, must we remain in the sewer?
[2607.9s] Probably till we get out of the city.
[2609.4s] But should be okay to do some traveling near the roads after that?
[2616.3s] Just depends on Orcus's forces to and fro.
[2621.0s] Leo-sen, before we go, just curious, we had left Donnie's collar.
[2629.5s] I'm not here!
[2631.3s] I went to another room!
[2634.7s] Right, he did wander away screaming F words.
[2638.7s] Okay, I wander to find Leo-sen, and I say,
[2644.9s] Hey Leo-sen, before we leave, we had left-
[2647.5s] Where are you going?
[2649.6s] Well, we're gonna go find the Arcane Brotherhood.
[2656.6s] Okay, so you're going again.
[2658.6s] Okay, you're gonna want to wait till morning.
[2661.3s] Okay, well, we're gonna travel in the sewers a little bit.
[2663.8s] Listen, don't give me that look!
[2667.9s] We can't just sit here and let Flint die.
[2671.8s] I know.
[2672.7s] What would you do?
[2674.7s] I don't know.
[2675.9s] I'd go find the Arcane Brotherhood.
[2678.1s] And we're gonna go fast.
[2680.1s] Yeah, your best bet is probably start in Luskin, it's overrun as well,
[2684.7s] but I don't know where else to go from there.
[2687.0s] You might find someone, maybe someone like us?
[2692.2s] Maybe, overrun is fine as long as there's not like, you know,
[2695.6s] an evil, invisible dude.
[2699.6s] It seems like Orcus Castle is just a pretty big home base for the big guys.
[2703.6s] So maybe Luskin is just like, full of the undead.
[2706.8s] Fingers crossed!
[2707.8s] Anyway, we had left Donnie's collar before, with you.
[2715.8s] Any chance, it's just shot in the dark.
[2719.0s] That was fixed up, and you've somehow held on to it.
[2723.5s] Hold on to it.
[2728.2s] Give me a minute.
[2730.0s] Really?
[2730.3s] I did not expect you to have it.
[2732.1s] I don't know if I do.
[2733.3s] I'm gonna go check my things.
[2735.7s] Oh, okay, yeah, you check your things.
[2738.4s] We'll see.
[2739.2s] Question, Russ.
[2741.2s] Does Telgir know what the force was that like, snapped her spine?
[2748.3s] I don't.
[2749.3s] I mean, all of you can roll...
[2754.0s] Chiropractics.
[2754.8s] Arcana, Chiropractic.
[2756.3s] Roll for Chiropractics.
[2758.6s] Yeah, all of you could roll some sort of...
[2761.9s] Yeah, I think Arcana would probably be the best for that,
[2765.3s] to see if you know, you don't know based on your experience exactly,
[2769.5s] but you might have gained a feel.
[2773.4s] 13.
[2773.7s] Well, I don't think the seven Telgir rolled is gonna handle it.
[2777.4s] No.
[2778.1s] I kind of just assumed it was someone with an invisibility spell,
[2781.5s] or someone very powerful, who is able to...
[2784.6s] Orc is kind of big bad, kind of some...
[2787.4s] I really thought we were gonna be in it.
[2789.4s] Yeah, no, worth asking.
[2791.0s] I just thought that, you know, he might being,
[2793.8s] having been around for the last 10 years,
[2795.8s] might have had some inkling as to what was up.
[2797.6s] You don't know of a specific creature that has that MO,
[2802.2s] you know, not like a specific creature normally comes and sneaks up on people
[2806.1s] and snaps their neck and spins it around and then knocks through them.
[2809.6s] Yeah, and everybody...
[2812.7s] Um, so, so no, I don't think you would have direct knowledge of that experience,
[2822.3s] nor do you get anything from the 16.
[2825.8s] All right.
[2828.6s] Leosin.
[2829.8s] Oh, oh, yes, sorry, Ymble, yes.
[2833.4s] Uh, hi.
[2835.9s] Hi, I just wanted to say,
[2838.4s] I don't know, hello, long time.
[2841.2s] I feel like I, I know you, but of course I don't,
[2845.4s] and now you're so much older and, and we've missed so many years of letters.
[2851.9s] That has been actually one of the things I've missed for the last 10 years.
[2858.7s] That's so kind of you to say.
[2860.9s] More than, at least I don't even...
[2864.2s] They're, they, friend, they are friends and they will help.
[2870.8s] They are your friends and, and they are very brave adventurers
[2874.4s] and, and I have missed hearing about their tales, although it has been fun to, well...
[2884.2s] Fun seems like a strong word.
[2886.0s] Yes, I was, I was trying to think of a new word because fun is, is not the right one.
[2891.8s] Flabbergasting, I think would be a good word.
[2895.4s] They are fun people to be around, but we have never been in a situation that is fun.
[2904.5s] It has, it has been nice to meet you, fighting, killing, uh, lich, end of the world.
[2913.0s] How are, how are you?
[2916.5s] Um, well...
[2918.5s] Callum Port.
[2919.8s] Uh, it's hard.
[2922.2s] It sounds like didn't make it.
[2924.6s] That my whole beloved city is, is destroyed and, and all of my friends and family are gone
[2937.4s] and we came here hoping it would be different here, but it's not.
[2944.0s] It's, it's hard.
[2946.2s] No.
[2946.7s] But I am hopeful.
[2949.9s] I am hopeful we can turn this around, whatever, whatever this is, whatever this place is.
[2957.2s] Yeah, you're, um, you're, you probably haven't been, but you're off to Luskin.
[2966.0s] It's, where you're going, it's going to be much colder than you've ever experienced,
[2970.6s] I guess, is the new thing that I can pose for you that you'd have under your belt.
[2980.8s] Um, reports from the city aren't, they're few and far between.
[2990.4s] I, I hope there is some Glimer of hope there that we are able to sort out Flint and
[2996.3s] hopefully correct some of these wrongs that have, that have come about.
[3005.1s] Yes, we will, we will do our best and I don't know.
[3012.5s] Can you expect these people to save the world again?
[3016.3s] I have to confess.
[3017.5s] I hope they do.
[3019.0s] I hope so too.
[3021.5s] Flint is not in a great position and
[3026.2s] Thea has emotional hurdles to work through.
[3036.8s] Well, she has been through a lot.
[3039.2s] Yeah.
[3041.3s] But I know you, you are trying to gather the information so we can save Flint and
[3047.9s] go and, and I didn't want to keep you.
[3049.9s] I just-
[3050.3s] No, it's-
[3051.2s] I wanted to say, hello, Fen-Pal.
[3054.4s] It's nice to see you in real life.
[3056.6s] I'm s- I'm sorry we had to meet under such circumstances.
[3060.9s] It is the loveliest thing that has happened in more than 10 years to finally meet you.
[3073.9s] I open my arms to give him a hug.
[3077.1s] He steps forward and reciprocates openly and you, you embrace each other in a warm hug
[3085.9s] and you feel him, you feel his body tense, like every muscle, every fiber in his body
[3092.3s] is tense at first, but once, once you hug him tight, he relaxes and not quite collapses into
[3102.8s] you, but like there's a, a weight to the hug that you can tell that he hasn't felt
[3111.1s] any sort of relief in a long time.
[3117.4s] Well, we'll be back soon and we will, we will catch up on what you have been doing
[3127.6s] these last 10 years.
[3128.6s] I have not received your letters, or I guess more accurately, you have not received mine.
[3135.0s] Yeah, well, yeah, I look forward to it.
[3140.9s] Uh, I'll, I'll go get the information you need and send you off.
[3147.4s] Thank you, Yimbo.
[3148.8s] Thank you.
[3150.0s] I'm going to go over to Flint.
[3153.0s] I'm going to point a finger at him threateningly and we'll say, don't you fucking die
[3160.3s] or disappear completely and become someone else.
[3165.7s] I'll be back.
[3167.9s] Flint, people do our best to get you well and they've seen you.
[3174.4s] Flint, people do our best to get you well and saves the world.
[3180.8s] Donnie, you want to say anything?
[3184.4s] Flint, it's uh.
[3185.8s] Wait, Donnie.
[3187.6s] Wait, Thea.
[3188.5s] Can you reach Flint's mind by any chance?
[3193.8s] Because he connects telepathically.
[3198.7s] That's how we talk.
[3201.1s] Right.
[3201.9s] Uh huh.
[3202.6s] Yeah, let me see that.
[3203.5s] He's so in there, like, what's, tell him that I miss him.
[3206.2s] Tell him that he better not fucking die.
[3208.9s] You can say the swear.
[3210.0s] Uh, Donnie flies down, kind of sidles up beside him, knocks on Flint's head.
[3217.1s] Hey, uh, Flinty, can you hear me?
[3222.5s] What kind of pictures would you send to him?
[3227.4s] To be like a fiddle, a roof.
[3231.2s] And then a picture of Flint.
[3233.4s] And then an ear.
[3234.2s] Some sort of shtetl.
[3235.8s] Yeah, there's nobody home here.
[3237.9s] Oh, well, you could have said that a little nicer.
[3241.3s] Remember we've talked about tact?
[3242.8s] Dearest Thea.
[3243.9s] Oh my god.
[3246.3s] You were a lot less sarcastic earlier.
[3249.0s] Donald E.
[3250.3s] You know what, maybe we don't get your.
[3252.1s] I don't, I don't reach, I can't reach Sir Flint's a lot.
[3257.5s] I'm sure he's fine.
[3259.2s] Maybe we just don't even look for your collar.
[3261.1s] Maybe you stay a little boy forever.
[3263.2s] Leosin comes back.
[3264.3s] I am sorry I don't have his collar.
[3266.4s] Ah, see, little boy forever and it's all because of your attitude, Mister.
[3269.7s] Well, I'd probably hide a lot better than a shiny gold dragon.
[3273.5s] Yeah, but you could kick a lot more ass as a shiny gold dragon.
[3276.8s] Hey, you know, it's not about the size of the stinger.
[3282.6s] It's about how you use it.
[3285.1s] Gross, get in the satchel.
[3287.5s] No, you're in a time out.
[3288.8s] No, I will not.
[3291.8s] No, stop trying to put me.
[3293.5s] God, no.
[3294.2s] Get in the bag.
[3295.1s] No, I'm too high.
[3302.9s] All music and sound effects in today's episode can be found at EpidemicSound.com
[3307.7s] or BoomLibrary.com.
[3310.1s] A huge thank you to our supporting producers,
[3312.6s] Gabriel Lynch, Mark Hartless, Stevie,
[3315.0s] Kat Waterflame, Jacob Madden,
[3317.0s] Christian Brown, Jessica Babyok,
[3319.0s] Darylith, Devin Michaels,
[3320.7s] Aaron Stevens,
[3321.8s] Luke Ickes,
[3322.6s] and Ray Sirbeck.
[3323.7s] To find out more about how you can support Dumbgeons and Dragons,
[3326.5s] visit us at Patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast,
[3329.6s] where you can have exclusive access to 50 plus hours of bonus audio content,
[3334.3s] create in-game NPCs and items,
[3336.8s] as well as play games with the cast.
[3339.1s] Patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast.
[3341.9s] Have a great week,
[3343.0s] and we'll talk soon.
[3344.7s] Clouds obscure a glowing deep purple.
[3349.5s] Clouds obscure.
[3350.4s] This is going to be great, guys.
[3353.4s] I'm so ready.
[3354.5s] You're like three words in.
[3356.5s] Russ, I'm listening to my favorite podcast.
[3360.4s] Eleven.
[3361.3s] Writing my memoir.
[3362.3s] Is that the one where Russ tries to read his own handwriting and can't?
[3366.0s] Yeah, that's the one.
[3366.9s] Yes.
[3369.1s] Did you want to jump in with something?
[3371.2s] Well, yeah, I feel like we've been thrown into a boss battle,
[3373.9s] but didn't know it was going to be happening.
[3378.6s] Sorry.
[3380.2s] Not sorry.
[3381.1s] Darkest timeline.
[3385.7s] This whole thing is taking me off completely.
[3388.7s] Good.
[3390.2s] Fuck you.
[3394.1s] And I do now feel like shit being like,
[3397.3s] you're the first one who's going to die.
[3399.6s] And then she did.
[3401.2s] So I'll make my own penance with that later.
[3404.0s] Are we supposed to stay and look for the the Dima Comic Con?
[3410.6s] Oh, it's so close.
[3411.6s] So it was so close.
[3416.6s] It was the right amount of syllables.
[3417.9s] It was almost all of the same letters.
[3419.8s] Just one different, I think.
[3421.9s] And all of a sudden, we're at a big convention center.
[3425.4s] And like, there's COVID.
[3426.7s] This is a bad idea.
[3428.0s] We should not be at Dima Comic Con right now.
[3435.3s] Dima Comic Con?
[3436.4s] No.
[3436.7s] Dima Nomicon.
[3437.6s] Oh, God.
[3438.0s] This is going to be like Shangri-La altogether.
[3442.0s] Altogether again.
[3442.9s] Do you think we should go to help?
[3447.1s] Comic Con!
[3449.8s] Dima Comic Con!
[3453.9s] We need to have a one shot where we go to Dima Comic Con.
[3456.6s] I think that'd be real great.
[3459.0s] Remind me what I have to do to save them.
[3461.6s] Were you guys trying to like, find a thing to do something?
[3464.0s] We had the amulet.
[3465.5s] We needed to get to the...
[3467.6s] Arcane Brotherhood.
[3468.6s] Yeah.
[3472.3s] I have this!
[3472.9s] Step one, cut a hole in the box.
[3474.7s] Step two, put the Arcane Brotherhood in the box.
[3485.4s] Amy's having a moment.
[3486.6s] Dumbgeons & Dragons is a Dumb Dragons production.