Today's episode includes graphic violence, fear, and frightening themes.
Previously on Dumbgeons and Dragons.
Yen Bull, I'm not going to lie to you. I regret going to Kalimport.
Yes, I don't. I feel like perhaps I regret leaving.
No, no, no, no worries. It's just going to take five seconds of your time.
You're going to get home quick.
Her eyes change from panic to hatred.
Well, shit, I don't think that we are friendlies here, my friends.
I feel like we have to get inside.
Please let us in. We need a place to stay for the night. My friend, he's very ill.
It's not just Waterdeep. Where did you come from?
Kalimport.
And is it better in Kalimport?
It's very bad in Kalimport.
We believe that one day we will join the land of the undead.
And any sort of rebellion definitely doesn't exist.
Any thought of rebellion would be immediately found and brought to swift justice.
You can find a sewer opening and manage to get down and into the sewer. You splash down in.
It's not where I expected it to be this morning.
Who's there?
The Decimators of Dragons.
Several locks go, the sound of like magical dispelment happening.
The door swings open and you see Leosa.
Where the fuck have you been?
Welcome to Dumbgeons and Dragons.
I'm your dungeon master Russ Morn. He, him.
With me today is Karla Maxted.
That's me. I just threw my pen across the room. Did you guys all hear it?
I did. Very good Foley work.
I thought you were rolling dice already.
I interrupted you while you were...
Karla was so surprised to be first that just the pen went flying.
I was a little bit.
You were writing your memoirs. You didn't realize the podcast had started.
I play Yen Bol Nuri, she, her.
And Amy More.
That is me. And I play Thea Amastasia, a high elf druid. And both pronouns for me and her are she, her.
And Tom Laird.
Yeah, that's me. I play Flint Firebeard. He is a dwarven champion fighter.
And he also goes with he, him, as do I.
And here we are back in the Darkest Timeline.
Here we are.
Yay.
Yep. Everybody's still so excited, right?
Yay.
Yep.
Well, yeah.
I mean, are we speaking honestly here?
This is a safe space.
Am I just putting on a brave face for everybody?
Yeah, we're in the trust tree. You got friends here.
Not me, but apparently everybody else.
Here's some inside information. It's been an awfully long time since we recorded
with these characters. And I remember why now.
He just wanted to give us a little bit of time to just like move past it. Remember,
we're all very good friends and we love each other very much.
And play a holiday episode. Have some fun.
Exactly.
Russ wanted to wait till I hit send on the Christmas gift order.
Do some bonus episodes, you know, all this fun stuff.
And then here we are back in misery land where you can be in the trust tree.
Nice one, Carla.
It's over at Patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast.
You get to be part of our lovely community. That's all wonderful. It's amazing people.
It is just some of the best humans in the whole world.
It's really, yeah.
This whole last holiday season, whenever I was just like,
I just need to talk to someone who's having it.
You know, I just went into the discord and talked to the community and they're just great
people to just, ah, I love being around them.
And we'd love to have you there too. If you're not already there.
And if you already there, we love having you there. You stay, you stay.
You stay right where you are.
So Patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast. And when you are there,
you get an episode dedicated to you like today's patron, Tyler Ponder.
Thanks, Tyler.
Thank you so much.
We're thinking about you.
Huh? Huh?
Because your last name's Ponder.
It was a joke.
I wonder if Tyler's never heard that joke before.
It's a first. I'm hoping it's a first.
Well, because Russ looked awfully confused.
Oh, I got it. I was just letting it linger.
There's no video evidence to prove that you did.
So that's true.
Exactly.
He looked so confused.
Thanks, Tyler.
Thank you, Tyler.
Thanks, Tyler.
Enough.
Fuck it. Let's play.
Man, you haven't interrupted Russ in such a long time.
It wasn't even intentional.
No, it wasn't.
No, I was like, Tom's going to say something right when I...
No, I did it anyways.
We see a dark night roll out.
Clouds obscure a glowing deep purple black moon.
Movement down side streets of figures trying to stick to the shadows is seen.
We hear Leosin's voice.
It was ten years ago.
Give or take a few months when we sent you down to Calumport.
The signs of Orcus were minimal, as you remember.
As you remember, portals were popping up here and there.
Then, much like you reported, towns and cities began to go dark.
The figures quickly zip across a street as a squadron of undead soldiers march past,
covering each other, keeping eyes open all around their position and watching for scouts.
When I say dark, I don't mean they were empty.
No.
People were still there.
What went dark was communication, trade, taxes, commerce, all of it,
would slowly fade and then one day, stop.
We see the group more clearly now.
There are seven of them.
Flint, Yenbul, Thea, Donnie, wrapped tightly around her,
a stout-built dwarf, Tolgir Heavyfoot,
and a pair of assassins, one of them a masked elven woman,
Renisa, and a drow, Halvalu, Egno.
One by one, they file through a damaged portion of the perimeter wall
into the main compLex of Castle Orcus.
Messengers and scouts began disappearing when sent to these towns and cities,
and military squads would go MIA inexplicably.
Those lucky enough to return would tell horrific tales of making it deep into these towns,
too deep to retreat when they found themselves surrounded by the townspeople,
but not the townspeople, undead, shells of the people they once were.
Their factions were driven deeper into the towns,
surrounded, and guided towards a window, a doorway, something that led them to the abyss.
That's when the nights became truly dark, and the moon went out.
Then the wars started.
A door pulls closed with a quiet squeak.
The group silently moves down the halls of the first floor of Castle Orcus.
Pausing at each corner, the air is still.
There's no movement heard anywhere.
Everybody roll for stealth.
Eleven, fourteen, sixteen.
Renisa whispers, just loud enough to be heard.
This is going to be too easy.
Oh, I don't think we say things like that.
It's best not to say things like that before starting it.
I'm sorry, you might be the first to die.
We'll see about that.
The wars were fought all across Faerûn, all across Toriel.
It was an organized effort.
They knew how we would attack.
They knew every weakness, every strength.
They had infiltrated the highest orders, but they toyed with us.
They let us feel like we were gaining ground.
They let us push them back.
They let us think we could win.
Castle Orcus is silent.
As Renisa and Helvelu lead the group up the spiral staircase
toward what once was Lady Leryl Silverhand's office.
Now the presumed chambers of Lord Vorunax and his right hand Lipsinki.
At the top, a doorway stands between the group and the chamber.
A deep black-purple glow comes from beneath the door.
Helvelu stops and moves to check the lock.
Someone roll a d20 for Helvelu's sleight of hand, please.
Should we all roll it and take the best one?
Nope, one person.
I will not roll.
Sixteen.
They tore us down mentally before breaking us physically.
We knew nothing except defeat was possible.
The wide portals.
That'll be the understatement.
Gateways or replacements of existence.
Where there was world and earth and water was only pain and dread.
The abyss was here.
And it's all we could see.
The hordes, they came and they consumed.
The spirits took down anything in the sky.
We were driven back to Waterdeep,
where whoever was left had to make our final stand.
But when all you see is death, how do you win?
The door slowly opens before our group.
Renisa speaks up.
Where? Where's the book?
It's supposed to be here.
The Demonomicon, it has to be here.
She rushes into the room, a room that was once adorned with fine furnishings and tapestries.
Now looks to be just a void, with a single pedestal in the center.
Renisa approaches the pedestal and looks down at it and freezes.
What is it?
That's when she raises her head.
No, no, no, wait, wait, no, wait.
She keeps raising it.
Until you hear her spines snap.
The bones twist and crunch as her head contorts towards you.
The dark, booming voice echoes out.
Thea, Yenbul, Flint, it's about time you arrived.
Now the real fight begins.
A scream rings out.
A blood-curdling scream.
Lady Laryl Silverhand was rushed away before the city was entirely overrun.
She was sent to find help, find salvation, but she hasn't been seen or heard from since.
Lord Neverember and King Melandrich were taken prisoner and
converted or executed publicly for all to see.
Anthar Frum, myself, and a few others fled here after a time and established
the wards that make our hold invisible to Orcus and Vorunax.
A little news has come from Silvery Moon or Mithril Hall,
and only rumors of safe zones come from the Sea of Swords.
You bring the first concrete information from anywhere outside Waterdeep in a long, long time.
The group of you turn, and you see Flint scream and fall motionless to the ground.
His breathing is labored and faint.
You see his scales lift and shimmer and static sparks through them.
You hear a wisp in the night outside windows of Floor Down,
and you hear a crash of several doorways below and the cacophonous wails of undead moaning.
Helvelu yells, the floor below, now!
Tullgeir helps you lift Flint as you move down the stairs to the next floor,
the sound growing immensely.
We need that book.
The Demonomicon of Igwilu.
It was there, and it has to be there still.
It can get us to Orcus, to Vorunax, and bring the fight to them.
The door slams shut.
Helvelu and Telgeir are buckling up satchels to their backs.
Helvelu says, that carpet flies, right?
Yes, the carpet can fly.
Telgeir finishes strapping up his satchel.
The two of them jump out windows and are quickly followed by shadows that you see zip behind them.
What, are we supposed to just find the Demonomicon on our own?
Are we still looking for it?
I don't understand.
Are we supposed to look?
We look for the book here with the undead, or we fly on the carpet?
What do you think?
There's nothing in this room, and there's a whole lot of...
What do you think?
There's nothing in this room, and there's a whole lot of
moaning and weirdness going on out there.
I say we get on that carpet.
Yes, I agree.
We need to get Flint somewhere safe.
Maybe, I don't know, go back to home base, and Leosing can help?
I don't know.
So I'm going to remember how the carpet works.
I think I have to say something, so let me just look.
As she's trying to remember the words to her magic carpet,
can I...
I would like to do something to Flint.
I would like to draw a dick on his face.
Actually, I would like to cast Cure Wounds on him.
Can I do that?
Yes.
I can do whatever I want.
Is that what you're going to say?
Yeah, I want to Cure Cast Wounds on him.
No, I want to cast Cure Wounds on him.
Fuck you guys.
I want to Cure Cast Wounds.
I want to Cure Cast Wounds on him.
Please, now.
Okay, do it.
Okay.
I'm not even going to roll because it doesn't do anything, does it?
No.
Fuck.
I just, you know what?
Because often I forget that I can heal people.
Because I'm so used to playing Sully, I was just like,
damn, let's get him on this carpet and get out of here.
Yeah, I'm not going to try to fix him.
Flint, you're on your own.
You cast Cure Wounds on Flint and nothing appears to happen.
So I take out the carpet and say,
it's here and it starts to float.
So I assume B and I manhandle Flint up onto the carpet.
Or just put the carpet on the ground, roll him onto it.
But it would work better, probably.
In the end, it would be better for him.
But I mean, it would be more comical if the carpet was about four feet off the ground
and there was a lot of flopping going on to get him onto the carpet.
Yeah.
You could do it when they stretcher athletes where they stabilize them
and then move one side ever so slightly and slide the board under them.
Yes, exactly.
Yeah.
OK, you do so.
And we fly out the window.
Can we fit with the carpet out the window?
Yeah.
OK, good.
Yeah.
Good question.
It's a big window.
You zip out into the night.
You see up ahead the faint shadow of your two friends being pursued
by what looks like a wispy, shadowy demon.
They themselves have large gliding wings that have protruded from their back
and appear to be in like a dogfight with this demon.
Do you think we should go help them?
I don't know.
Did they go so that we could escape?
I don't want to negate their sacrifice,
but I also don't want to not help if they need our help.
I certainly don't want people to be sacrificing themselves for us,
but I guess they wouldn't have come
if they didn't think that they were prepared for the inevitability of a fight.
I think we need to get Flint somewhere.
I think so, too.
I wish they communicated better about what they needed us to do.
I would go fight if they need us to,
but I think we should get Flint somewhere to help.
So you're flying above the city currently.
You need to get into the sewers.
How are you traveling to do so?
Are you flying to a known location to then drop down?
Are you going through the streets?
Where are you piloting?
So questions.
Clearly where we left before was us meeting Leosan.
At the door.
After getting past the sewer ducts.
Yes.
So how long has it been since then?
Because the period of time will help us know
how much we would have learned from him
about these baddies and what we're up against
and the layout of the city.
Where the safe zones are.
Yeah, exactly.
Other entrances to the hideout or whatever.
The rules of not leading anyone back to the secret hideout.
I mean, do we talk about Fight Club?
No.
We've already broken rule one and two.
I would say probably at most 24 hours.
So you would have been given base information
on what types of demons you might run into.
How to get in and out quickly.
The least conspicuous places.
Most of which involve travel through the sewer.
There would be one you'd have to go into the Yawning Portal,
but also one of the more dangerous ones.
One of the least expected ones,
but one of the more dangerous ones
because the Yawning Portal you would have known that...
I mean it's been taken over by demons.
It's a direct C down to the Undermountain
which is more ripe with Underdark and Portal access.
Well, I don't want to go somewhere too dangerous
with Flint the way he is.
I'm not going to say he's the best fighter out of all of us, but...
But he certainly is the best fighter out of all of us.
Also, unfortunately, probably the heaviest.
And now we have to care for him and thank God for the carpet.
Um...
Should we go the way we came, maybe?
Yes, I think so.
Okay.
You're skimming along rooftops
getting back to the sewer entrance where you came
when you hear a wail from behind you.
And you turn and you look
and you see another one of these demons
zipping quickly towards you.
Roll for initiative.
Ooh, 19.
Uh, 12.
You see the demon coming towards you.
Thea, you are up first.
You know you have a ways to go.
You have four rounds before you get to the sewer entrance
where you need to be.
Okay.
You see this demon coming up behind you.
It's within 30 feet.
What do you do?
Um, I would like to cast Moonbeam on its Eos.
Yeah.
At fourth?
No.
Fifth level.
That, um, bitch needs to take a Constitution saving throw.
Where does Moonbeam pull its power from?
Kind of a do-over, I wasn't thinking.
Well, you wouldn't have known, so...
It says, a silvery beam of pale light
shines down in a five-foot radius
centered on a point within range.
I mean, it doesn't necessarily say it comes from the moon.
Just looks like moonlight.
It just looks like moonlight.
Okay.
Because I can cast this inside.
And during the day.
That's right.
It is just a spell.
It requires several seeds of any moon seed plant,
which I have in my pouch,
and a piece of opalescent feldspar.
I don't know what that is.
Its power comes from moon seed,
as opposed to the lunar power.
The moon, yes.
Okay, that's all I was looking for.
It's a plant!
Yeah, cool.
That's what I was looking for.
I was like, not today.
Not today.
Russ is not taking away fifth level spell for me today.
It's from a plant.
Okay, cool.
Constitution saving throw.
Do it.
10 plus 1 is 11.
Not good enough, my friend.
5d10 radiant damage.
Here we go.
17.
On a possible 50.
She rolls a 17.
The light of your moon beam illuminates the entire area.
And shines for blocks.
It says, hold on a second.
Wait, please.
It says a silvery beam of pale light shines down on a five foot radius.
And it's a 40 foot high cylinder centered on the point, which is the dude ghost thingy.
Until the spell ends, dim light fills the cylinder.
Yeah, but this is a different world with a weird demon and it's so dark.
And it's so dark because there's no moonlight or streetlights or anything.
Fine.
And strikes this demon and you see its skin boil and it screams
as it charges towards you.
You have a second attack, don't you?
Do you want to do anything with that?
I can't cast a spell, but can I shoot an arrow at this wispy bitch?
You can try.
That's a wispy bitch.
Now that it's so illuminated, you see the demon for what it is.
It has large black tattered wings.
Huge black horns coming up out of its head.
Teeth that close in from the sides of its mouth and dark red eyes that Glimer.
And you see its long arms that extend far longer than its body.
I don't like it. What is it?
You got to roll to find out what it is.
Well, I'm not going to waste my action on that.
It doesn't care what it is right now.
Pulls out a scroll, starts doing some research.
Let me scribe for a moment, please.
All right, so, uh, Thea pulls out her oath bow,
and she says, um, it's with death to those who've wronged me.
And let's fly an arrow and it's going to hit because I rolled a 16.
Without any bonuses or with bonuses?
With a bonus.
16 does hit though.
Oh, my bonus was eight.
It hits. Fantastic.
I have not rolled a d8 in so long that I saw one d8 and I was like,
there's an eight sided dice.
We're so good at this, guys.
I rolled a fucking one plus two is a three.
That's right.
And something also happens because it's an oath bow.
My target gains no benefit from cover other than total cover,
and I suffer no disadvantage due to long range.
Oh, and if my attack hits, my sword enemy takes an extra 3d6 piercing damage.
It's important to read all your stuff.
Seems like good information I have.
That was a six.
Oh, that was a two.
Oh, that's another two.
Ten damage.
That's better than three.
Yeah, it's a good thing I read the rest of that, right?
I was just like, well, I'm done reading now.
Who would have guessed reading things would pay off?
Right? Says the teacher.
The demon rushes towards you,
moving through the walls that you're trying to weave around
and reaches out to I assume you're like on the back where.
Oh, yeah, because I think that is like steering.
You've got to buy the tassels, right?
I don't know.
I'm picturing like Alydin trying to escape the cave of wonders.
It's rolled up towards like you're about to do,
like a crazy carpet.
I don't know.
I guess you tell me, do you need to physically steer it
or can you guide it?
I don't know.
That's a really good question.
I don't know.
Let me see if it says before I just start making shit up.
It moves according to my spoken directions.
So you do have to pay attention to where you're going.
Left, right, left, right, left, right, left.
OK, so you do have to still pay attention to what you're doing.
But I don't have to physically steer it.
I'm not like encumbered by steering.
Cool.
OK, this thing zips up behind you
and is going to try to claw attack you.
Bring it.
However, because of the light from your moon being so bright,
it has disadvantage.
That's a 12 to hit you.
It's not going to work.
All right.
Doesn't believe me.
Tom, tell me what happens.
From, I guess, maybe above.
All of a sudden you see like this streak in the sky
and you look up and you see Telgir Heavyfoot hand axe out,
like just barreling towards this shadow demon through the air.
And I'll roll to attack.
First one is a 17 to hit Russ.
Yes, sir.
Second one.
Oh, isn't that 20?
Telgir's fucking bringing it.
All right, roll it.
All right, here we go.
It's like the most successful kind of success.
It's the most successful one.
First one, Russ, that is 12 slashing damage.
And then the second one, 15 slashing damage.
Tell me what it looks like when Telgir kills this demon.
Yeah, as I say, he's streaking through the sky.
First hit, he lands on the carpet beside you guys
as he attacks this thing.
First attack slashes it somewhere around the head and shoulder.
And then second one, he just throws that axe right in the old neck
before he wiggles it free.
Oh, you're going to say knees and toes.
Shoulder.
The demon falls to the ground in a crumpled heap.
You see it fall as you zip ahead.
You fly back to the sewer where you entered
and get back down and in just missing a patrol of undead.
I immediately stop my moonbeam.
Just so no one falls in through the light.
Once you're out of combat.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I just figured I'd say it because sometimes Russ is like,
he never said you put away your beam.
We're in the middle now.
Hey, everybody.
Seemed like a real quick middle song.
Yeah, I was going to say we're surrounding business.
2021 business.
Strictly business.
2021 strictly business.
Newsletters and business.
Check out our Discord for all the amazing announcements
that we did not make about our newsletters.
The others have made about our non-existent newsletter.
Yeah, so we haven't had the business meeting yet.
What we do have going on this month and every month
is very exciting.
We have this thing called Game Time
and it is where we get to play games with you.
Arguably one of the best days in the month.
True.
Absolutely.
One of our favorite days in the month.
This month, I am running a game for three of our patrons plus Carla
and we have room for one more patron, one more person.
If you're not a patron yet,
you could become a patron and come play a game with us.
Yeah, you could become a patron.
You could just upgrade and then you're there.
We would love to have you have a full table and play that game.
Okay, here's the pitch.
It's going to have excitement.
It's going to have a little bit of an espionage, sneak around spy feel.
It's going to have lots of fights.
It's going to have witty banter and probably a sandwich.
If you bring a sandwich to your game.
Oh, okay.
So the sandwich is up to you.
It's BYOS.
Yeah, optional sandwich.
I mean, this all sounds delightful.
But yeah, it'd be really awesome if you could join
because I mean, we'd have a full table, which is always really exciting.
Plus, we love to just see and interact with all of you.
It is super fun.
And every month game time is different.
We have a rotating GM spot and a different cast member every month,
maybe more than what's even advertised sometimes.
So that's very fun to keep you guessing.
Totally.
Plus, if you're at that Patreon level,
you still get like all the stuff below that.
So it's like all the stuff.
And this month's game is going to be played on January 28th
at 630 p.m. Pacific, 930 p.m. Eastern again with myself and Carla.
And yeah, all that other stuff that comes along with being a patron.
You're going to find if you're new to Patreon and that's where you start,
you're going to find that there's a whole lot of stuff there
that we're very excited about sharing with you.
And hopefully that there's a place for you.
If it's not there, come check us out.
We've got a whole bunch of other great tiers
with tons of other amazing stuff as well.
Okay.
Hope to see you soon.
Have a great one.
Have a non-specific time of day.
That's right.
And get back to this episode.
Okay.
Talk to you later.
Okay.
Bye.
You get back down to the sewers and
Tulgear helps you, I assume, carry Flint back to the stronghold.
Leosin?
Did you find it?
No.
Where?
No, and Flint, we need help.
A few people come over and carry him over to a cot
and lay him down and begin checking him over.
Where's Renisa and Helvelu?
I mean, she didn't make it.
We got to the room where we thought the book would be
and there was no book and something happened to Renisa and-
And there was a familiar voice and then her head
and then Flint just started screaming and dropped to the ground and-
But the book?
There was no book.
The book wasn't there.
Fuck!
How do they know our every fucking step?
You got a mole?
Fuck, I don't know.
We had moles from the fucking beginning.
They're checking Flint.
Are you okay?
Well, apart from really shaken at the most emotion I've ever seen you
have, yes.
It's been a rough 10 years.
You know what?
Yeah, I was going to say I get it.
I don't get it.
I don't get anything.
But what if just right now we go back?
Go back where?
You have any other idea where the book could be?
If you will go look again.
It was supposed to be there.
What was there?
A pillar of nothing.
And when Renisa went up to this pillar, an invisible thing just killed her.
And then hordes of undead were unleashed.
We could hear them screaming throughout the building, and we had to get out of there.
I don't know where else it would be.
If you go back now, they will...
If you heard undead coming up anywhere, they're going to expect you.
Would they though?
Maybe this is the best time.
They wouldn't expect us to go back right away.
It's so foolish.
And nobody else knows.
In here, if you do have a mole, somebody's telling them.
If we go back now, there's not enough time for anyone to communicate.
Okay.
You want to go back?
No, not really.
I just, I don't have another plan.
I'm worried about Flint.
Got to keep busy.
A woman comes over and kind of whispers in Leosan's ear,
says, I don't know about Flint.
He's unconscious.
He's not responding.
He's breathing.
He has vitals.
Maybe this thing that's happening to him is happening now.
Oh, it did.
I like, no.
Well, no, because I was like, that doesn't make sense at all.
What the fuck kind of sentence is that?
And then I was like, oh, maybe it's his whole dragon thing.
Maybe that's happening right now.
At least you haven't changed.
Well, you know, hasn't been as long for me.
Just wait.
I'll become jaded and grizzled like you.
Sweet.
Can't wait.
Thea, isn't there, you've got the gem.
Can we do, is it too late to do
whatever you were trying to do to save him before?
The whole reason we came here was to help Flint.
And if this is happening now, I mean, we've got the amulet.
We need the arcane brotherhood.
Is that possible?
Well, there are rumors of them in the North.
How far North?
Well, they were based in Luskin,
and the rumors were that they went farther into the Sea of Swords.
We couldn't possibly travel with Flint like this.
I don't think Flint's traveling anywhere.
Tollgear's with you now.
Okay, well, listen, it's not just a,
any dwarf can take his place kind of thing.
If you need extra hands.
No, I'm totally fine with extra hands.
I'm just sensitive right now.
So what, we go, we find the arcane brotherhood,
we bring them back here?
Maybe they tell you what you need to do.
God, I wish phones were invented.
Or like pigeons, even.
Come on.
Talk it over.
I'm going to go try and figure out what I can do next here.
He turns, and you hear him scream,
Onthar, fuck!
I only exchanged letters with Leosin,
but I never thought he would be so-
No, he's not.
This isn't him.
He seemed so sweet and maybe a bit particular.
Yeah, and a little reserved.
Yes.
Nope, nope, that all,
that all went out the window a while back.
What's your name again?
Tullgear, heavyfoot.
Tullgear, right, sorry.
There's a lot going on.
You'll ever jump ahead 10 years,
and then the whole world is completely fucked when you get there?
That's kind of what we're dealing with.
Nope, can't say that I have,
but you know your door friend there,
he's tough.
They'll keep him comfortable here.
You have some time.
How do you feel about going on a journey,
dangerous, perilous, likely might not survive,
in order to find maybe people who might be there,
who could possibly have information,
who could save a guy who has nothing to do with you,
and then somehow get back in time before said guy dies?
Does that sound like a good quest for you?
I mean, I'm happy to help with anything.
I've been around a while.
As you can see, one of my eyes isn't so good as it used to be.
I'm probably on borrowed time at this point,
so if I can help you guys out, I'll happily do it.
Did you design him as a one week left from retirement kind of character?
Because that's how it's done.
Not entirely, but he does have a whitened eye,
and he's missing a finger or two,
so maybe give a description of Tulgear here as we see him.
Tulgear Heavyfoot is a patron submitted name
for a character here from Christian Brown.
Tulgear is a little oblivious when he's not focused on a plan,
so sometimes things can go over his head.
He's got white hair.
He's got one whitened eye,
so his left eye is just not exactly as great as it used to be.
But yeah, he's got dark skin, left eye completely whitened.
He's also missing his left ring finger, salt and pepper hair.
He's on the older side of things for a dwarf at 310 years old,
and he has a bit of an aura to him.
What color would you call his aura?
I wouldn't say it's white, but something white adjacent.
Hmm, a cream aura.
I get you.
He also has an amulet around his neck
that has the image of a set of scales resting on a war hammer.
Well, if you're offering your help, we will gladly take it.
As long as you're not the mole.
I mean, we've had a very serious problem with that.
It's not really something to joke about here.
Yeah.
Well, shall we go?
If you guys are waiting on me, I'll just all I'll be right there with you.
You are the expert of this place, so it would be very helpful to have you with us.
And Yen Bull, you're still on this wild ride with me.
She asks desperately for the person who has a vehicle in which to travel.
That isn't a giant bird.
I am here and this is the world, so.
The only people I know are you and Leosin and Flint.
I must try to help.
Thank you.
And you, Pulgare.
I know you now too.
What about Dawn?
Yeah, I mean, I'm here too.
She doesn't really know me.
I've been sleeping for like, I don't know, it seems like 10 years.
You've been real quiet.
Well, there's a lot going on.
Yeah, I don't blame you.
I was in a maze thing, and then I found you,
and then I found you, and then I was in a bag thing.
Well, I think I found you.
We found each other.
Debatable.
And then I was in a bag thing, and then I slept for a long time,
and then I was in a sewer thing, and now I'm here.
So you are ready to hit the open road, or the underground road?
Tulge, must we remain in the sewer?
Probably till we get out of the city.
But should be okay to do some traveling near the roads after that?
Just depends on Orcus's forces to and fro.
Leo-sen, before we go, just curious, we had left Donnie's collar.
I'm not here!
I went to another room!
Right, he did wander away screaming F words.
Okay, I wander to find Leo-sen, and I say,
Hey Leo-sen, before we leave, we had left-
Where are you going?
Well, we're gonna go find the Arcane Brotherhood.
Okay, so you're going again.
Okay, you're gonna want to wait till morning.
Okay, well, we're gonna travel in the sewers a little bit.
Listen, don't give me that look!
We can't just sit here and let Flint die.
I know.
What would you do?
I don't know.
I'd go find the Arcane Brotherhood.
And we're gonna go fast.
Yeah, your best bet is probably start in Luskin, it's overrun as well,
but I don't know where else to go from there.
You might find someone, maybe someone like us?
Maybe, overrun is fine as long as there's not like, you know,
an evil, invisible dude.
It seems like Orcus Castle is just a pretty big home base for the big guys.
So maybe Luskin is just like, full of the undead.
Fingers crossed!
Anyway, we had left Donnie's collar before, with you.
Any chance, it's just shot in the dark.
That was fixed up, and you've somehow held on to it.
Hold on to it.
Give me a minute.
Really?
I did not expect you to have it.
I don't know if I do.
I'm gonna go check my things.
Oh, okay, yeah, you check your things.
We'll see.
Question, Russ.
Does Telgir know what the force was that like, snapped her spine?
I don't.
I mean, all of you can roll...
Chiropractics.
Arcana, Chiropractic.
Roll for Chiropractics.
Yeah, all of you could roll some sort of...
Yeah, I think Arcana would probably be the best for that,
to see if you know, you don't know based on your experience exactly,
but you might have gained a feel.
13.
Well, I don't think the seven Telgir rolled is gonna handle it.
No.
I kind of just assumed it was someone with an invisibility spell,
or someone very powerful, who is able to...
Orc is kind of big bad, kind of some...
I really thought we were gonna be in it.
Yeah, no, worth asking.
I just thought that, you know, he might being,
having been around for the last 10 years,
might have had some inkling as to what was up.
You don't know of a specific creature that has that MO,
you know, not like a specific creature normally comes and sneaks up on people
and snaps their neck and spins it around and then knocks through them.
Yeah, and everybody...
Um, so, so no, I don't think you would have direct knowledge of that experience,
nor do you get anything from the 16.
All right.
Leosin.
Oh, oh, yes, sorry, Ymble, yes.
Uh, hi.
Hi, I just wanted to say,
I don't know, hello, long time.
I feel like I, I know you, but of course I don't,
and now you're so much older and, and we've missed so many years of letters.
That has been actually one of the things I've missed for the last 10 years.
That's so kind of you to say.
More than, at least I don't even...
They're, they, friend, they are friends and they will help.
They are your friends and, and they are very brave adventurers
and, and I have missed hearing about their tales, although it has been fun to, well...
Fun seems like a strong word.
Yes, I was, I was trying to think of a new word because fun is, is not the right one.
Flabbergasting, I think would be a good word.
They are fun people to be around, but we have never been in a situation that is fun.
It has, it has been nice to meet you, fighting, killing, uh, lich, end of the world.
How are, how are you?
Um, well...
Callum Port.
Uh, it's hard.
It sounds like didn't make it.
That my whole beloved city is, is destroyed and, and all of my friends and family are gone
and we came here hoping it would be different here, but it's not.
It's, it's hard.
No.
But I am hopeful.
I am hopeful we can turn this around, whatever, whatever this is, whatever this place is.
Yeah, you're, um, you're, you probably haven't been, but you're off to Luskin.
It's, where you're going, it's going to be much colder than you've ever experienced,
I guess, is the new thing that I can pose for you that you'd have under your belt.
Um, reports from the city aren't, they're few and far between.
I, I hope there is some Glimer of hope there that we are able to sort out Flint and
hopefully correct some of these wrongs that have, that have come about.
Yes, we will, we will do our best and I don't know.
Can you expect these people to save the world again?
I have to confess.
I hope they do.
I hope so too.
Flint is not in a great position and
Thea has emotional hurdles to work through.
Well, she has been through a lot.
Yeah.
But I know you, you are trying to gather the information so we can save Flint and
go and, and I didn't want to keep you.
I just-
No, it's-
I wanted to say, hello, Fen-Pal.
It's nice to see you in real life.
I'm s- I'm sorry we had to meet under such circumstances.
It is the loveliest thing that has happened in more than 10 years to finally meet you.
I open my arms to give him a hug.
He steps forward and reciprocates openly and you, you embrace each other in a warm hug
and you feel him, you feel his body tense, like every muscle, every fiber in his body
is tense at first, but once, once you hug him tight, he relaxes and not quite collapses into
you, but like there's a, a weight to the hug that you can tell that he hasn't felt
any sort of relief in a long time.
Well, we'll be back soon and we will, we will catch up on what you have been doing
these last 10 years.
I have not received your letters, or I guess more accurately, you have not received mine.
Yeah, well, yeah, I look forward to it.
Uh, I'll, I'll go get the information you need and send you off.
Thank you, Yimbo.
Thank you.
I'm going to go over to Flint.
I'm going to point a finger at him threateningly and we'll say, don't you fucking die
or disappear completely and become someone else.
I'll be back.
Flint, people do our best to get you well and they've seen you.
Flint, people do our best to get you well and saves the world.
Donnie, you want to say anything?
Flint, it's uh.
Wait, Donnie.
Wait, Thea.
Can you reach Flint's mind by any chance?
Because he connects telepathically.
That's how we talk.
Right.
Uh huh.
Yeah, let me see that.
He's so in there, like, what's, tell him that I miss him.
Tell him that he better not fucking die.
You can say the swear.
Uh, Donnie flies down, kind of sidles up beside him, knocks on Flint's head.
Hey, uh, Flinty, can you hear me?
What kind of pictures would you send to him?
To be like a fiddle, a roof.
And then a picture of Flint.
And then an ear.
Some sort of shtetl.
Yeah, there's nobody home here.
Oh, well, you could have said that a little nicer.
Remember we've talked about tact?
Dearest Thea.
Oh my god.
You were a lot less sarcastic earlier.
Donald E.
You know what, maybe we don't get your.
I don't, I don't reach, I can't reach Sir Flint's a lot.
I'm sure he's fine.
Maybe we just don't even look for your collar.
Maybe you stay a little boy forever.
Leosin comes back.
I am sorry I don't have his collar.
Ah, see, little boy forever and it's all because of your attitude, Mister.
Well, I'd probably hide a lot better than a shiny gold dragon.
Yeah, but you could kick a lot more ass as a shiny gold dragon.
Hey, you know, it's not about the size of the stinger.
It's about how you use it.
Gross, get in the satchel.
No, you're in a time out.
No, I will not.
No, stop trying to put me.
God, no.
Get in the bag.
No, I'm too high.
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Have a great week,
and we'll talk soon.
Clouds obscure a glowing deep purple.
Clouds obscure.
This is going to be great, guys.
I'm so ready.
You're like three words in.
Russ, I'm listening to my favorite podcast.
Eleven.
Writing my memoir.
Is that the one where Russ tries to read his own handwriting and can't?
Yeah, that's the one.
Yes.
Did you want to jump in with something?
Well, yeah, I feel like we've been thrown into a boss battle,
but didn't know it was going to be happening.
Sorry.
Not sorry.
Darkest timeline.
This whole thing is taking me off completely.
Good.
Fuck you.
And I do now feel like shit being like,
you're the first one who's going to die.
And then she did.
So I'll make my own penance with that later.
Are we supposed to stay and look for the the Dima Comic Con?
Oh, it's so close.
So it was so close.
It was the right amount of syllables.
It was almost all of the same letters.
Just one different, I think.
And all of a sudden, we're at a big convention center.
And like, there's COVID.
This is a bad idea.
We should not be at Dima Comic Con right now.
Dima Comic Con?
No.
Dima Nomicon.
Oh, God.
This is going to be like Shangri-La altogether.
Altogether again.
Do you think we should go to help?
Comic Con!
Dima Comic Con!
We need to have a one shot where we go to Dima Comic Con.
I think that'd be real great.
Remind me what I have to do to save them.
Were you guys trying to like, find a thing to do something?
We had the amulet.
We needed to get to the...
Arcane Brotherhood.
Yeah.
I have this!
Step one, cut a hole in the box.
Step two, put the Arcane Brotherhood in the box.
Amy's having a moment.
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