Previously on Dumbgeons and Dragons.
We have to go to this apiary, like every temple I've gone to, they've told me that it's like the one place you have to go while you're here, so could we please just go?
Glim, I'm really sorry to bring this up. I just don't normally think that girls enjoy going to the apiary, it's really because, well just, it's so hard to get the stream over the edge, you know? You know what I'm saying?
I'm having a question here, I don't know if I've ever had this question before, can they touch the things in the bottle?
Why didn't you offer them samples, Trevor?
Yeah, Trevor, I didn't know your name was Trevor.
I go by Trevor when I have my tour guide hat on.
Unfortunately, I cannot give you my greatest creation, my fondest creation, for lack of materials, but...
I'm getting very agitated with this, there was an exploding bubble, I'm still sticky, it's getting to me you guys, and now they're hell wasps.
How do you not get stung by a hell wasp?
Oh, you will probably get stung, but the good news is that you all paid for a tour already, didn't you? So that way, I can provide you with some beekeeping gear, and I shall be there as well.
Well, I think maybe there's more of the note on the ground, because there's another piece of paper on the floor that you were just standing on.
What's on this?
Moot, you look at it and it appears to be a map.
Hell wasp honey, here!
Exactly.
This is extremely convenient, thank you young man, me and my big feet. How many times have I heard that?
Save it for next episode, Celeste.
Are you regretting inviting me yet?
No.
Not at all.
Welcome to Dumbgeons and Dragons, I'm your Dungeon Master Russ More, and with me today is Tom Laird!
Hey, that's me, I play Moot.
And Karlo the Max Dad, almost did it again, shit!
That's me, I play Glim.
And Amy More!
Yep, that's me, you got that one right. And I play Sullivan's Sleight. All night. It's tight.
That's right.
Keep going, keep going.
It's a delight.
Don't fight!
Yes!
This could be a fright.
Okay, I'll be polite.
And joining us again this week from the Venture Maidens, writer, streamer, podcaster, and wrote that Rime of the Frostmaid.
We should probably play Rime of the Frostmaid.
That would probably be good too.
That's pretty good.
I think so.
Everything I've read, I've got it right there.
Raves of the author.
That's pretty good.
Author gives five stars.
Five stars, thank god.
Celeste, she won't let me introduce herself, Celeste Conowitch is here, thanks for joining us again.
Hi everybody, I'm so excited to be here.
Welcome back.
Yes, playing Professor Dr. Smith, font of wisdom.
So much wisdom.
Dripping with wisdom.
If this is your first episode, you have to go back and listen to episode 67 because this is episode 69 and it just won't make sense.
No!
Yeah, baby.
Nice.
To make you horny, baby, we haven't had awesome power-up points in a long time.
It's been a while, baby.
Yeah.
I don't even know where to go from here.
Someone gets this episode dedicated to them.
If you're a patron, someone gets episode 69 dedicated to them.
This is very important.
The lucky patron who gets episode 69 dedicated to them is Laura Bollander.
Laura!
Nice.
You know what you need to do now.
Go to Patreon.com, search Dumb, Drag, and Cast, and join us today!
Thanks, because I didn't know what needed to be done, but like when you say that to someone, they immediately think of something.
I think we all was just glad it was a guess, and I think it was donate to Patreon.
Contextual.
Absolutely.
Say, yes.
Who else is glad it wasn't someone in their family that was the lucky patron of episode 69?
Russ would have switched immediately.
Or would I?
Fuck it, let's play!
Oh my gosh.
Russ, let's play!
Here we are again.
Are we still in the cabin in the clearing in the woods?
Little pro tip.
When your DM has to stop, say, okay, and put his hands over his eyes, it might not be okay.
No, it's fine.
You tell me where you want to start.
Do you want to start in the cabin to game plan, or do you want to start at the Hell Wasp?
Jesus.
I feel like we start congratulating the dragon on our new friendship.
That wasn't an option.
We did it, you guys.
I'll go to the Hell Wasp then.
Could be by the end.
I'd say Hell Wasp, because who knows how long it'll take us to get out of this cabin.
I know we have a map.
And we have a dragon to fight.
We only can take up so much of Celeste's time.
I'm fighting a dragon.
I did not sign up for that.
I need my dragon-fighting suit.
This is your adventure, Professor Dr. Smith.
This is your adventure.
Get on board.
You're right.
Of course, I will come through.
I will dedicate my time, my energy, my efforts.
If this is the last thing that you ever do.
Like the valiant drones that keep a hive fertilized and primed for action,
I shall spring forth.
Go on.
Nope, I ran out of words.
You're all crouched behind a bush,
because you hear the sound of this droning noise coming from just beyond
up in one of the trees.
You peek up and over and you see,
coming in and out of this large, amber-dripping hive,
17 Hell Wasps.
Also, listeners,
fun little thing for you to do while you're listening,
find all the innuendo in this.
There's gonna be none from here to the end.
Is the hive dripping, Russ?
Yeah.
Are you gonna spring forth, Dr. Professor Smith?
Professor Dr. Smith?
Yeah, it's all there.
It's all there.
There's already been like seven.
You just need to look at it the correct way.
Just remember you're listening to episode 69
and just going with that kind of energy.
You'll find a lot of innuendo.
Yes, there's only 18 of them.
We should spring soon before more come out.
Well, we don't want to be immature about this.
We gotta, we gotta just like,
not go too fast because,
and then they're all gonna come at us.
Stamina will be key, you're right.
Yes, I suppose.
How do we get the honey?
So I need to get to the hive
and sort of root around in there
and get some out
and put it into this honey pot that I have brought.
Carla can't even read now.
I have this nice honey pot
that I have for preserving special fiery honey.
So I just, I need to get in there.
So however you think.
So like you need like a distraction or something.
You need like the wasps to be doing something else.
I mean, if we did kill wasps,
I would also like to take their bodies.
Don't get me wrong.
Okay, so you are totally for the destruction
of part of this community for the sake of science.
Well, I will say,
hell wasps, unlike natural bees,
are quite harmful while on the material plane.
So I'm not opposed to taking care of the problem.
Whatever damage is,
I'm just here for the honey,
for the bubbles, for the children.
I'm just here for the honey.
I have plenty of bees in my own apiary.
I don't need competitors out here in the woods
making their own spicy honey.
It's all for me.
This is, this is Smith honey
for Professor Dr. Smith, no one else.
It's like listening to your grandpa talk about sex.
This spicy honey is just all for me.
This spicy honey going in my honey pot,
no one else's.
That's right.
Well, okay, I, you know,
I don't want you to be offended by anything,
but I'm totally gonna take off this bee suit
because look at those things.
All right, well, you know the thing.
You know the thing that will happen.
You know what?
I also have this.
Little bees.
I lift up my frightful sort of reflection
and I'm like,
I really want to try this thing out.
I really just, you know,
I just want to,
I got this.
Yeah.
You've got this.
That's great.
Well, no, not just by myself.
There's no way I could,
there's like 20 bees over there.
Yeah, there's a lot of them.
It's 18.
It's 18 specifically.
Right.
Wait, I think I'm just counting
the same bees over and over again.
No, they're all very different.
You can tell by their markings.
Oh God.
So maybe, I don't know
if we want to make them angry.
Can we find one that's alone?
Good luck.
Is there a smaller,
weaker one we could?
Separate it from the pack.
Everybody make a,
it's probably a nature check.
Oh God.
I don't know how to do this.
I'm scared.
Like, okay, maybe I should
shoot an arrow at it
and then make them all mad.
Glim got a five.
Oh, well, don't worry.
I got a three
after it fell off
the desk I'm on.
Perfect.
It's looking good so far.
I got a three plus one.
It's a four.
I got a 16.
I'm a bee professional.
This is why we have you here.
I'm a bee professional.
I have two degrees in bees.
Did you not,
but not specifically bee degrees.
I'm not fucking around here.
For that would require
a bee professor to be a real thing.
And we established very clearly
that it is not.
There's no bee professor.
Holy shit.
That bee over there has a tie
and a arrow.
Holy shit.
That bee over there
has a tie and a pocket protector.
I have to kill him.
He's my rival.
It's got the leather patches
on the tweed jacket
it's wearing.
It's got a leather briefcase.
Only one person
can get tenure,
a bee professor.
Epic showdown.
Professor Dr. Smith
takes on...
Okay, so with the 16.
I thought it was 17.
Oh, 16.
No, there were 17 ones.
No, there were 18 ones.
Celeste upped that to 18.
So there's 18 lost now.
Okay, you know what?
I have problems with numbers
and names apparently.
It's fine.
I feel like if we were already at 17,
what's the difference?
What's the difference?
You know what?
The 18th one is probably
that one with a tie
and briefcase
that just came out of the wash.
It's probably the professor.
Is going off to work
at the bee factory.
At the bee university.
Excuse me.
He is a professor.
He's teaching people
how to make bees,
obviously.
I don't think there are
blue collar bees.
I don't think so.
It's complicated.
Anyways.
With the 16,
you are more than welcome
to find a small,
weaker hell wasp.
Professor Dr. Smith
That one.
It seems to be
sort of the
the runt
of the hive
if I had to
to say something so crass.
I would not have guessed
that was the technical term
for bees that way.
Yes.
That one,
you're a runt,
you're a runt.
It is what it is.
Like, okay,
so you've done this before.
Is it better to go
like hand to hand?
Should I like
pull it into the bushes?
Should we
shoot it with an arrow?
Stay far away from it?
Yes.
You said yes
to both of those.
Sounds like
all of them are good options.
All of those options.
Maybe which one
is better for me?
Well,
I don't know you.
I don't know you
very well.
Really?
I feel like I know you
really well.
The bushes one,
I don't know why,
but I feel like
pulling things into bushes
to kill them
is more your style
just a guess.
I don't know
how I feel about that.
I'm going to have
to do a lot of soul searching.
I'm sorry.
Well, you made me choose.
You made me analyze
your fighting style.
I'm not a professor
of martial combat.
I'm a professor
of bee physiology.
I don't really know
what to do.
I would like to shoot
the small one
with an arrow.
You're going to shoot
the small one
with an arrow.
Yes?
Can you,
how small is the small one?
Oh, not much smaller.
I was going to say like
and so they're like
so it's like
Rottweiler versus
I think they're like
corgis sized.
What kind of dogs?
Yeah.
I mean,
that's a little too close to home.
Let's not be shooting corgis.
They're listed
as large fiends.
Oh, no.
Then they're bigger
than corgis.
They're like horses.
They're like,
oh, they're pony sized.
I'm very large.
So now that I'm standing
up close,
I do think
they are probably
larger than I thought
they were.
My bad.
That's on me.
I'm just so curious.
How did you get the
how did you get these
before?
Because you don't seem to
you haven't come
and done this yourself.
No,
not technically.
Technically,
I had a friend
who happened
to be in Avernus
before
a specific amount of time
and then they simply
had a bunch
and I just did sort of
bought it
from them.
I see.
You know,
adventurers who go
there
very rarely come back.
I don't know if you knew that.
I would just like to say
very clearly
we are never doing this again.
Oh,
that's fine.
No, if I get all the
honey I need,
I mean, look at the size
of that thing.
I could get enough
honey to
subsist for years
and then I'll call you
then.
But it's like
an outside issue.
This is at least
six months worth
at least
which is basically
an eternity.
I mean,
have you looked at
life expectancy rates?
It's an eternity.
I am
I'm going to just
shoot one.
You're just
OK.
You're going to shoot one.
No other pre-planning necessary.
The balls are the walls.
OK.
Shoot away.
We're not really
planners.
I'm level 7.
Oh shit, I rolled a one,
y'all.
Wait, wait.
I just
I'm something about
my sneakiness.
I can re-roll a one.
You're a halfling?
Yeah.
You got a halfling's luck
or whatever it is.
I don't know what it is
but I know I can re-roll it.
Damn it.
Our patrons have told
me that.
12.
Your arrow soars
through the air
majestically
and completely misses
my gel wasp.
You know,
I don't think that
higher than 12 AC
and there's 18 of them
guys.
Just wanted to remind you
of that.
Maybe I could forget
and make it an even 20.
Oh my god.
Was it
did it just like
through the air
like didn't really bother
anybody?
They didn't really notice.
They did not notice
based on their perception.
Are they just like
wasping around?
Yeah.
Just gossiping
just gossiping
about other neighbors.
Which I mean
I realize that's not
a saying.
That didn't mean
anything.
So what I meant was
bees normally
are like very
on task
and I know these are wasps
but it sounds like
they are making a product
like bees do
so are they like
they're like working
they're worker wasps?
Yes.
Are they acting like
busy bees?
Absolutely yes.
They're more acting like
busy bees
bringing their honey in
you know as
wasps do.
They're
to and fro
some buzzing about
perimeter checking
you could argue.
But yes
your arrow courses
through the air
like just behind
the one that you were
trying to hit
and as another one
is like coming around
the corner
it just misses
a site.
So you're fortunate
in that none of them
saw
your arrow.
I'm starting to think
that that was probably
really good thing
that I missed.
I
I don't want to do this.
That's fair.
If you would like
I could create
sort of a distraction
around the hive.
I could set it on fire
if you think that
would help at all
in this situation.
Set the hive on fire.
We need the honey.
Could you set
something else on fire
like a tree.
Yes.
It's sort of a
well I do
a little bit of this
it's been so long
since I cast magic
but I think
I can
do sort of a
ball
of fire
sort of thing
that I would move
around
if that
I believe
I can remember
that one
what other ones
do I remember
Oh gosh
throw your fiery balls
Yeah I feel
like our best strategy
is to maybe
distract all
the very strong
powerful wasps
Oh it could also
make one of you
one of you
very large
if that's
something
that floats your boat
I mean
that could be good
because then
the wasps will be
very small.
I mean they'd still
be like wasps sized
even if you were
very very big
and wasps are
kind of terrible
even when they're
wasps sized.
Also you took
so they would
really get you
Why am I
the one
being big
I just said
I don't want to do this
I think I was
very clear
with my intentions
Are any of you
sneaky?
Perhaps one of you
should just go in there
and just
scoop a bucket
and get out
Moot kind of rubs
his nose
and points at Sully
at the same time
Yeah
You could just
sneak on in
and just
you know
subvert this whole
problem
Oh right
Okay
but you guys
gotta have my back
and stuff too
if you see
one of them seeing me
you gotta like
take them out
before they can
tell anybody else
I don't know
how we're possibly
going to know that
but we can guess
I suppose
Well if you see one
look at me
and then point
and be like
What?
Bees can't point
they don't have fingers
I don't think you
need a professor of
bee physiology
to tell you that
But I will
I just did
I just told you that
And now I feel like
my life is more
enriched because
I have that information
You're welcome
God
Alright
If you would like
I could inject you
with something
that will make you
a little bit
sneakier
It's the inject word
that sounded
so alarming
I am a medical doctor
I don't want to
For bees though
For bees specifically
Well I mean
all living organisms
share
some
common basis
and
perhaps you would die
but
it's worked on bees
and bees are extraordinary
It's worked on bees guys
I'm sure it's great
A bee can handle it
You're saying you can't
handle what a bee can handle?
You're at least
twice as big as a bee
Looks panicked
at Glim
Like
What do I do?
I don't know what
the right thing to do is here
I'm just trying to help
Do we know
how
intelligent
these hell wasps are?
Are they
are they intelligent
like a
like a wasp
or are they
sort of
sentient or
Could I make a
a nature check
to see what I know
about hell wasps perhaps?
Yeah
Alright let's
let's do this
and see if I can
As a professor doctor
I honestly think
that you probably
You must have had to have
a couple classes
in basic waspology
Well they're all from hell
I will remind everyone
so it's a little bit different
That's true
16
Yeah
I mean your previous
knowledge of
of hell wasps having
dealt with them
in your own way
You know that hell wasps
are
an intelligent
malevolent insect
native to the nine hells
You know they have a
telepathic ability
amongst their hive
So no pointing fingers
They'll just know
They'll just all know at once
Yeah
Right
And
can be
their stings
are poisonous
if not
You know they cause like
a fiery pain
throughout your body
which can paralyze you
Cool
Cool cool cool
Super cool
Explain all this
So anyway
Injection?
Wielding the hypothermic
Have you just been
carrying
that enormous
syringe around?
Yes
Right above you
a bee zips
over your head
or not a bee
a wasp zips
over your head
flying off
into the trees
behind you
Oh dear
Are they attracted
to anything
that we could
maybe put someplace else?
Pheromones
If you have
queen pheromones
they would certainly
would
Well I mean if one of
the four of us
was going to have
queen pheromones
I feel like
Oh that's me
I think I actually
do have something for
this
Wow
Remarkable
So I've been working
on this perfume
that I've been
coming up with
Yes so you apply
it and then
in situations
you do have
advantage
in social situations
It's quite
remarkable
I suppose
if the gods above
would let me invent
an item of such
a magnificent
kind that might
be relevant
in this situation
I don't know
Let me bequeath
the sky
Hello
Oh gods above
might I have
such a thing
in my bank
The gods
are silent
The gods are thinking
of how to get this
back on the track
No he is not
Okay do you
Wait I love your idea
you can have
the perfume
Absolutely
Cool
But
There is more to that
I mean
Okay so
do you guys have
maybe
in your bag
Professor Dr. Smith
Yes
Do you have any of
those never
pop bubbles
Oh yes
Do you think
I have like eight
I don't know why
I just figure
whenever I see
a young lad
or lass
I just
impart unto them
a gift
Children don't seem
to like me
So I try to give them
things
to change that
Yeah no fair enough
that's
a real creepy way
to make some friends
Would we be able
to blow
some of those
bubbles
and maybe
tie some strings
and maybe I could
float
like I am
one of the
bee
wasps
You know what
What the hell
Shut up girl
What the hell
I love it so much
We are clearly
floundering here
So here you go
I'm going to give you
all of them
All of the bubbles
Okay
Between us
Can we
We're going to blow
some bubbles
and attach
some string to them
and attach them
to my
belt
So Sully's now
the dude from up
Sort of
I'm here for this
Yeah I love it
Can you spritz me
with that stuff too
because maybe I could
fool them into
being the queen
Well I wonder
I have an idea
Maybe I could
distract them
Yes
Probably
And then you could
float in
That's probably
a better idea
And then
if I had the
pheromone
it would make me
more attractive
than they might
be more willing
to listen to
what I have to say
That is true
They also might
I mean
It is a queen pheromone
So I just
I'm not sure
if you know how that works
Get your holes Glem
I'm going in
Well I wasn't going
to say it
Okay
Okay tell me
how this plays out
as
Poorly
Yeah
What do you mean
This is a perfect
10 out of 10 plan
Do you want
my injection
or not
Sully
It's just the
injection word
that is so alarming
Well I'm an artificer
so I can't do
magic normal
Sullivan Slate
is totally
like tied up
so he's totally
ass end
if it's on the back
of his belt I suppose
Okay
And I just say
stick it in my ass
Okay
I do
And so as I
jab down
this
rather large
syringe
I'm casting
Your hands are at
like 12 inches
It's a big syringe
It's like the size
of a ruler
Gotta get in there
I'm casting
enhanceability
on you
and I will cast
Cat's Grace
so the target
You have advantage
on dexterity checks
You also don't
take damage from falling
20 feet or less
Good
You aren't
incapacitated
In the air
with these bubbles
So you have
advantage on all
dexterity
checks
So keep that in mind
for sneaking
or whatever else
Okay Sully
is beginning
to float
as the
Moke give me a push
needle is removed
from his posterior
Gentle shove
towards the hive
And what's
Glim doing
Dying
Wait a minute
10 seconds
She is doing
the spray in the air
Glim's gonna stand up
and walking through it
Like the mist
Oh yeah
So yes
I will spray
and then walk through
Oh wait
Can I do one thing
before you do that
Carla?
Please
Cause I am
literally about to die
I wanna cast
enlarge on Glim
So your size
doubles in all dimensions
Whoa
Oh I'm very big
Okay
All of a sudden
I don't think
this bush is big enough
And you also
Strength checks
and strength saving throws
and your weapons
also grow to match
your size
so they deal an extra
1d4 damage
Nice
Okay
Then Glim's gonna
stand up
and say
Russ I rolled a 10
Hey
Hey you cool boss
I wanna tell you
what you're missing out on
here on the material plane
I wanna tell you about
a real cool guy
named Bahamut
and I'm gonna tell you about that
through the movement
of Zumba
So I want you to come around
Everybody gather around
Stop it
Oh my god
Everybody gather around
This is amazing
And we're gonna do
some moves
and this is gonna
make you stronger
It's gonna make you harder
It's gonna make your
love your queen more
We're gonna do
some Zumba
I'm so excited to get
harder and love
their queen more
Wow
I wanna go over there
So
Giant Glim's gonna
start doing
some
maniac style
Zumba
to try and
I mean
not do anything
except maybe
just distract
the wasps
for a second
Sure
Just so Sully can
float on in there
and scoop up
some of that
good honey
Do you want to roll
based on
the pheromone
so a nature
or based on
your Bahamut
knowledge
so a religion
I mean could I be
doing
performance or
persuasion
I mean religion's
also fine but
Sure
Yeah I could
Yeah absolutely
I would like to use
my flash of genius
ability
so another creature
I can see within
30 feet of me
makes an ability check
I can use my reaction
to add plus four
into the roll
Okay
My wisdom
I have bestowed upon you
All that bee knowledge
I've been absorbing
this whole time
Okay
Persuasion I have a
plus five
which is going to
give me a 19
Plus the four
is a 23
and I'm like
doing step ball
changes
and I'm talking about
Bahamut
Now he's so great
and he'll fill you up
with the light
of love
Her hips don't lie
All of these wasps
turn instantly
in a menacing manner
Yeah of course they do
they're going to
fucking kill me
As they see you
Do wasps look anything
other than menacing
I don't think so
No
I don't think so
Not even that one
with the briefcase
No
And begin to
quickly move towards you
but as you begin
moving in your
zoobatic way
The hips, the rhythm
The Bahamut
It's flying
They're feeling it
They're into it
You're backing away
slowly
I've also pulled out
my sword
and I'm using that
as sort of like
part of my moves
Kind of like a
conductor kind of feel
just like
Yeah yes
That is so good
In the back
I see you
I feel you
Yes
Yes keep moving
The one that
flew over your head
and is now
coming back
and seeing all of its
friends
like following you
I'm assuming
Professor Dr. Smith
and Moot
have like
split behind
two separate trees
to allow this
like passage through
that's
tell me if I'm wrong
I'm entranced
by this performance
But in behind
this massive
now 20 wasps
Come on
Celeste did it
not me
Celeste did it
My bad brain
Yes
You see
Sully
You see Sully the Poo
floating by
Just a little black rain cloud
floating towards
the hell wasp honey
and you make it to
the nest
I turn back
I look back
and I look at
Professor Dr. Smith
and I go
You didn't give me
the container
No I did give you
the honey pot
I gave it
Take the pot
and do the
I take
Take the pot
Sullivan's patting
himself down
I don't have
the pot
Do you have
a bag
He takes his bag
and
You must have
a flask
and he's got
a satchel
and he
I just scoop
all that shit
You don't need it
Just scoop the bag
Sully
That's the most
disappointed way
I've ever heard anyone
say the word satchel
Satchel
He leaves everything
in it
I paid $50
for the satchel
at a farmer's market
and here we go
It's organic
and he's scooping
the bag
Sully
Um
and he's scooping up
and like
using his hands
and now
once again
Sullivan's light is sticky
He doesn't like it
and he's
How far away
is the
is Sully
and the
hive there Russ
Can they hear
my whimpers
Well I
Yeah
At least
Yeah
They can hear my whimpers
Sure
Well the conversation
you've been having
I assume you've been
You can hear the whimpers
It wasn't a full conversation
It was more of like
clothing it
to each other like
I don't have the pot
and holding out the
Me doing a lot of thumbs up
Yeah
A lot of thumbs up
It's fair
but I mean you can make out
keywords and stuff
so I mean
50 feet
30 to 50 feet
We were just doing it
loudly for the
audio media
Yeah
We were doing it
because this is a podcast
where people listen
with their ear holes
25 wasps show up
Oh my god
No
So
now Sullivan's light
has filled
his satchel
leather satchel
Oh
Moot looks down
below you
and sees
the pot
that's tumbled out of
your
belongings
and
I cast
mage hand
to get my crab claw
to somehow
pick it up
and get it up to
Sullivan
It's real pinchy
And I go
Oh yes
two bags would be
even better
get the honey
scoop it
and the satchel
Sullivan's face
and if you could
scrape
some of the sides
for the
wax
and I'm making
these ridiculous
gestures
that make no sense
and there you see
Sullivan
hanging there
looking back
like
what
and then
seeing
the claw
beside him
holding
the actual
honey pot
and he
looks down
at his
now ruined
satchel
with
the wax
and he puts
he puts
the loop
the
strap
of the satchel
over his head
so now he's
very much
like
ass in the
air
because this is
weighing him down
from the neck
and grabs
the pot
from
moot's
mage hand
and starts to
put honey
into the pot
like
just
he's a broken man
his face
and
after he's done
scraping
some of the
wax
from the side
like turns around
a little bit
and then
tries to
uses foot
to kick
off of the
knife
okay at this point
how does that look
roll stealth
I think you get
advantage
from your
cat's grace
roll with advantage
from your big
butt injection
my advantage
was a two
so that's
19
yeah well
I mean it's just
been going on
a long time
Carla is just
making sure
you push off
now it's fair
you can make us roll
we're playing
D&D
we're just saying
a lot of
nonsense so
speaking of which
Glim this whole
time she sees
her friend
Sully is like
looks so sad
he looks so
unhappy
and
she says
you know sometimes
when you just
feel like you're
having
the worst
time
you've ever
had
well
there's something
you can do
you can just
keep moving
you can just
keep on
moving away
from the
thing that's causing
you all that
distress
maybe
maybe that's
something bad
maybe you just
move towards
Bahamut
and I'm still
just
just moving
just
the bulk of the
move
and are following
fly out
of the scene
it now
sees Sully
pushing off
of the tree
I feel though
that Sully
doesn't push off
of the tree
because if you put
your foot on
something sticky
and then try to
give yourself
a shove off
you don't think
that's the best
way to
launch yourself
to imply yourself
it would also
probably collapse
a little bit
around your foot
I would
because it's not
the most stable
going to be
real disgusting
and I hope you have
some real good
foley for that
that suction sound
if he ever gets
his foot
I don't think
it's good
I don't think
it's good at all
Russ if you
foley that sound effect
I will be
amazed
I will try
okay
it's like
a
yeah that was
I mean that was
pretty much it
because it was
fair
10 out of 10
disgusting
but while
the
19 wasps
are moving away
one is moving
and looking
directly towards
sully
oh god we've
made eye contact
he's struggling
with his foot
and I guess
I haven't seen it
because it's behind
you so it's now like
you're looking at
the horde of wasps
floating away
yeah just keep
moving towards
the light of
Bahamut
you will not
regret it
you will feel so
good
I feel like you're
going to start to
rap
here
mom spaghetti
what I really like
about this character
sheet is that
all of my spells
do acid
damage which
I specifically
feel like is
terrible for the
thing I inflicted
upon you all
which is
hell wasps
I don't
maybe devin hates us
devin had no idea
I did this to
myself
I definitely did
this to myself
because I was like
you know what would
be funny
Russ if we
had to get
hell wasps
and
here we are
let me just
throw one out
I only have one idea
let me just throw
one out
so good
so I'll give
well Sully your
foot's stuck to
a tree
nest
sticky
you're sticky
again
I have a
satchel around
my neck
and professor
Dr. Smith
I'll give you
a moment to
react to this
wasp moving
towards
the light of
wasp
moving towards
your good friend
Sully
before
initiative will
be rolled
in that moment
then I'm like
oh no
I think this
is the time
for adventurous
heroics
and I'm gonna
spring out
from the bush
and as I do
so I'm gonna
use my
shifting feature
so you see
that my
my kind of
odd looking
face extends
even further
into the
type
that goes
like through my hair
actually becomes
a thicker fur
as almost the face
of like
a honey badger
appears
on this
person
as he kind of runs
like scatter runs
forward
at an alarming
speed
to like leap
towards this
this
hell wasp
like in a way
like you just don't
like I don't
give a fuck
I can picture
I'm
I am here
to fuck
shit up
you're rolling
to attack
or to cast
a spell
what do you want to do here?
How far away is it from me?
Because I need a
I need a bonus
action to shift
so then
that way I have
yeah
what was it
within 30 feet?
Yeah
Oh crap
yeah well then
let's just go ahead
and do it
I'm gonna make
an unarmed strike
because I have this
very cool thing
now you see too
that my
my nails
have actually
extended more
into these badger
I'm using
this attack
against the bee here
so
the wasp
sorry
yeah we keep saying bee
it's fine
that is a
dirty 20
on that hit
that will hit
yes
alright
so I kind of leap up
and like swipe
at this bee
with my claws here
and that is going to deal
seven slashing damage
as I make impact here
the wasp
lets out a shriek
as you see
Professor Dr. Smith
climb
or like jump up
and like clamp
into this wasp
moot
what would you like to do?
I will
try and cast
something to help
Sully
okay
I am going to cast
acid splash
on Sully's foot
that's stuck
I'm gonna try and hit
the foot
and like the part
that's stuck
not the actual foot
hey
gonna try to be
super specific with this
cool
let's do it
hope this roll goes well
well
we're gonna find out
everyone's really excited
to see what happens
that is
a 17
okay so your intent is to
try to melt the nest
so that Sully can get
his foot out
if I understand correctly
yeah just like part of it
just the part
that he's like
stuck on
what's the spell called?
acid splash
okay
yeah
you do that
absolutely
and it's
it doesn't
it literally doesn't say
anything about
splashing
splash damage on it
yeah that's
it's just called acid splash
that's not how life ports move
it does exactly what you want it to do
it lands right at his foot
it releases
Sully's foot
from the tree
but in doing so
like this bubble
like bursts up
and out
and starts to melt
the nest
and hits his leg
ow
god damn it
Jesus
remember when you stabbed me?
you'll fuck yourself
you hear that
Jesus
it was an accident
you hear the sound
of 19 buzzing wasps
turning around
because Sully just screamed
real loud
why the hell with acid?
I'm gonna give you two options
you can roll for initiative
or we can start a chase scene
I mean we should probably
we should start a chase scene
we're gonna die
that's so weird
and I feel like Glim
being on the other side of them
won't even need to participate
maybe she can attack them from behind
while we're running
maybe
how large is Sully?
I'm a halfling
oh okay
I would like to rip Sully out of the hive
and start running
because now that I'm full badger
I don't give a fuck
so I'm like cool as hell
I don't think I'm in the hive anymore
but you can absolutely carry me
I'll just pick you up
you pile of sticky
nasty honey
I'm just in your fur
I'm all in your fur
and now I'm like
tarred and feathered almost
except I'm honeyed and like furred
okay
I don't mind being sticky
Sully's having a great day
um okay
I work in an apiary
I like being sticky
everybody roll initiative
oh no
hey
let old acquaintance be forgot
and never brought to life
you gotta spin it somewhere to get into the meat of it
I was like how can I change this
I just got too caught up in it
she had her eyes closed
she was looking to the ceiling
yeah
feel it
hey everybody
welcome to the middle
it's our fourth anniversary
wowsers
we've been around for four years doing this thing
that's wild
can you believe it
the podcast is no longer a baby
no it's a
it's almost a child
it's toddlin' around
you can walk at four
I mean
maybe you walk with a little swagger
makes it look like you're toddlin' you know
yeah
sure
a real pimp walk for a baby
yeah it's a baby pimp walk everybody talks about
welcome to Dumbgeons and Dragons
your pimp walkin' baby podcast
what's alarming is that Russ and Amy are the ones that are parents
and Russ doesn't seem to know that four year olds can typically
most four year olds can walk
it's been several years since I've had a four year old
okay that's true
but our child was walking before two
so let's just put that in perspective there
look I haven't had that Facebook memory pop up in a while okay
it's coming it's coming for you
hey to celebrate our fourth anniversary we're doing some pretty crazy things over on Patreon
I don't know if you've heard
but we've got this really big goal where the three
amigos here
Tom, Amy, and Carla
that's what we're calling them now
yeah all right
went with it
felt good
yep awesome
as per usual someone else names us
I was just gonna say
as long as we didn't have to come up with our team name
perfect
yep
I'm into it
they're gonna be DMing me
playing Grancis and Flamingons
is it even possible?
I mean maybe not
but that'll be fun too
it's true
it'll be what it's gonna be
what a way to find out
right
I'm super stoked to play two characters
constantly throughout a game
we're gonna make him talk to himself
have to talk to each other
we're not gonna spoil it
but there's going to be reason that they need to talk to each other
basically throughout the whole thing
that's how the game works
and we want you to join us for it
over at Patreon.com slash Dem Dragoncast
we'd love to see you over there
there's another goal where we're doing
live stream
like basically like a improv
mad libs kind of feel where we need
in character improv thing we're gonna have going on
where we need audience participation
to fill in all of the blanks for us
please come and give us all your wonderful ideas
it's what we crave
it's what keeps us going is your ideas
thanks everybody
hopefully have a great week
enjoy this 69th episode
very little sexual induendo in this one
I said induendo it's fine
I didn't hear it
I would have jumped on that so hard
I know that's what I was
I called myself out
it's fine it's induendo damn
induendo
alright
we're gonna get back to the episode
thanks everybody
bye
Professor Dr. Smith is up first
you are carrying Sully
you hear the beating wings
coming from beyond the trees
in your direction
where are you going?
what are you doing?
immediately around you is a forest
there is a path that you know where based on
based on how you got here
we have that map
so we're gonna definitely run towards where that dragon is
that seemed like a great idea
with this treasure that we have
so do the chase scene to the dragon
and the dragon will fight the wasps
and we can just sneak out of there
Clash of the Titans
I see
release the kraken
stand under water for minutes
going waaaaaa
with my face
anybody who's seen Clash of the Titans
this one's for you
the original version not the shit new version
OG one with the crazy
OG that I've watched 50 times in my life
thank you
okay so what I'm going to do
I am going to take out my ever bubbles
I'm gonna blow some of these bubbles
and then I'm going to pop them in one deft motion
if I can do that
to make a big combustion cloud of nonsense
and then I would like to run
so let me know how much of that I can make out of it
do you just want to pop one of the ones that's on my back?
I still have balloons tied to me
okay
that's true
then I would like to do a much cooler thing
where when I'm grabbing Sully
I reach with my nasty nail claws
and I cut the bubbles free
and then I stab them down
and I'm running away from the scene
as this combustive cloud is happening
this cloud is exploding
and you take Sully and you're running
you're almost propelled
by the explosion
also fucking awesome fan art
Sully on the back of this honey badger
with the giant explosion behind them
yes
so much wisdom
wisdom
I'm going to say you're able to dash
and then I'll give you an extra 10 feet for the propulsion
whoa
glim
a loud explosion goes off
as the wasps turn from the direction towards Bahama
that they were going
you see at least two of your friends
running fast
propelled by explosions
what do you do?
well I'm giant please remember
oh yes
just didn't want anyone to forget
so I assume it's friends, wasps, me
right I'm on like the other side
of the clearing right?
well you were leading them away
so I guess were you still in front of them
ushering them somewhere else
well I feel like because I stood up on the other side of the clearing
and was like zoomba zoomba zoomba
and then um yeah
um so I think
I'm kind of on the other side
of the swarm
you might not see the exact details but you'll hear the ruckus
yes
um and I clearly know I've lost
my converts to Bahama
because they've turned away
from the light and the love
so
I would like to
use my fire breath on all those
wasp butts
do it
that have turned away from me
so they need to make um
their butts are the most vulnerable parts of them
yeah that's right
also I don't know what happens but I'm
much bigger so I feel like if it works
I get more damage because I'm
big so my lungs are bigger
so there's more fire
yeah absolutely there's more
now one
yay
so roll me
all that damage
yeah roll me double damage for big fire
for big lungs
that is
11 fire damage
and low level characters
but still 11
fire damage
right
yeah you let out a stream of fire
towards all these wasps some of their wings
melt and they fall to the
like three or four of them fall to the ground
and are like writhing on
the ground they're not going to like
that
um and I will sort of
follow like if the swarm
of them is chasing my friends I'm going
to also like follow in that direction
of course you run as well
perfect yeah okay
moot explosion has just gone off
let's uh let's
throw some shit backwards towards the
the the wasps like a fire bolt
okay
and uh I'm going to take off
take off running to follow
suit but avoid the big explosion
uh do it
alright
uh that's a 21
yes sir
and I'll be throwing
a fire bolt worth
nine
fire damage towards them
as they round this corner you throw up this fire bolt
and like spreads
out in a wall in front of them just based on
like the wind propulsion science
professor dr smith knows
I'll explain it to you later young man
thank you professor doctor
you're welcome
um and
scatters them yeah giving you
enough time to turn and run if
you would so desire
excellent I will do that
okay sully
I'm super sticky on the back of a honey
badger what you want to do
um this is probably the best you've ever
had it
you've even lived
until you're sticky on the top of a honey badger
yeah that's the real
living it's the takeaway from
today
I honestly don't
know I feel like the only thing
I could add to this
would be to like fire
an arrow backwards however
I am literally head to
toe covered in honey and I don't know how well
a finesse weapon is
how well I'm gonna do with
getting an arrow and just one arrow
and like we got eight arrows
you have advantage on
dexterity check if you so
you would have advantage on the attack
theoretically if that's what you want to do
sure cause I can't really run
oh but I
could probably take out that map
and direct us where to go
oh yeah if you tell us where to run
that would probably be
sure I wanna do that instead
I don't think shooting an arrow is gonna go anywhere
sticky you look at the map
and you see the big X where there
was the directions to
get to the hell wasp hive
and you're looking
for possible clues on
where to get the
where to get to the dragon's lair
that might have been mentioned in running
and you see that it's not far
fortunately
guys it's not far to get to the dragon's lair
I don't know why
that's a positive thing
okay
maybe the hell wasp will be scared
of the dragon and they'll stop chasing us
honor professor dr smith
yeah
I'm not as young as
I used to be but okay
the hovering
echoing sound of beating wings
like rushes up behind you
they're able to catch up to you
they're not able
to attack you this turn but they've
managed to catch up to you and we're back
to this turn doesn't sound great
right we're back to
professor dr smith who now has
directions
alright well let me
try something I've been working on
so you know bees
when they have a task they can go
extra far they can
activate chemicals they don't need to
sleep for days at a time
so you game we're going to try
something out ready let's go
and I'm going to click my boots
together and
my boots that
you see now yeah have these like yellow
kind of rings around them
so I'm activating one of my
artificer items which is called boots of the
winding path so as a bonus action I can
teleport up to 15 feet
to an unoccupied space I can see
so basically I'm booping
15 feet forward as I'm activating
these boots and I'm like whoa
and I think there's a big like buzzing
sound in the air as we just
jump forward
and then I'm like yippee
and I'm going to dash
do I get to come with you?
I don't know that's a good question
I mean I would think so
am I wearing you?
I mean when you teleport objects
you wear or hold come with you
I mean you are stuck to
you're covered with honey
I am holding
are you an object I'm not to objectify
Sully but it matters
right now he gets it
I feel like since you probably can't
remove me you're like my backpack
yeah no objections
here okay cool then we
teleport so you also feel that
intense buzzing sensation
I just
developed those recently I
was going to start selling them in the shop
but they were well
very expensive to make
anyway let's keep
running I say
Sully definitely vomits
over the side of you
he's just like what was that
I yell back
nothing it's fine
okay
yeah you managed to boop
ahead and then dash so you
are a leap and
bounce ahead
Sully you look down at the map and
it's just up and around the bend
where this presumed layer
is
Glim it is your turn
okay as a bonus action I'm going to cast
shield of faith on
Sully and maybe
professor daughters since they're kind
of attached and all that does
is give them a plus two
to AC just in
case I feel like the one covered in honey when
you're being attacked seems like a real target
so that's my bonus action
seems like we might be the first to meet
the dragon too
good point really good point
and then
from where I am back behind
I'm just going to like slash
I guess at one of those
wasps with the
warple sword
for a 20 not
nat
and that will be
nine
damage sorry you're going for one
in the air or one that had fallen on
the ground I think one in the air
I wasn't too worried about the ones on the ground
anymore they're just roaming
around on their little legs you slice it
and it knocks it off and into a tree
and it falls down to the ground
it's still moving but it's out of
play for the immediate
chase moot it is your
turn assume you continue running
beyond yeah let's just dash let's
dash dash dash yeah
okay you you you run
as fast as you can moot you see
up ahead in the distance
professor dr smith with sully like
bouncing on their back
as they're running as fast as they can
the wasps get a turn
two groups of them now split
off one kind
of goes up and around and turns back
towards glim
one's going to try to attack you
with its sting in a
sword talon
the first one is
a
13 for the sting
nope
and a 16 for the sword talon
also no
oh alright
suck on
that wasp spicy
like my honey
I'm gonna make
later
the other part of the group is going to
catch up to professor dr smith
but again because they had to dash
it's not going to be able to attack
this turn fiends
fiends they're just swarming
around you at this point oh I
am like this that's what you get for
keeping your tasty honey all
to yourselves is there anything you want to do
just can I um
like
motivate yes
professor dr smith you can help
yes I'd like to help
we can do it it's just a little bit further
what are you talking about
I need help with so many things
I absolutely
am like kicking
spurting
and now I'm just straight
up riding you
episode 69
yeah
okay professor
dr smith we're back to you
oh yes okay
and they're all like right here
so
you feel like you are
like I said just up and around the bend
is probably where the layer is
okay it's always for sure helping
you so we're definitely going faster
somehow then I
and I shall use a
dash action believing in
my new friend whose name
I never learned
to get me across this
finish line it's okay I would have forgotten
anyway all of your names
honestly but I
run I dash
valiantly towards
this this final destination
you are
bolting down this path
and you turn around this
corner and ahead of you
you see this cave
like a deep recessed wide open cave
I'm gonna run
into the cave to try and get
away from the wasps
echo
the shriek echoes through the cave
and you hear like this
growl come from deep
within the cave
I hear you are
a connoisseur of honey my
fine dragon perhaps
we can speak more I
have a wide variety of samples
available
we'll leave that there and go back to glim
glim what do you want to do
I guess I am
just going to try
and attack another one
with that warple sword
that's only a 14
14 does not hit
okay then I
just keep running and do nothing
else okay you continue to run
moot so they're
all between
me and the entrance to the cave
yeah cause you were behind so there's
there's a few there's a few that were
on glim but the bulk of them
are yeah between you and
your you're kind of
coming up to this
bend and
they're moving towards the cave as well following
your friends
okay I am
going to
run
I guess
try to like
skirt around them as best
I can but also maintain
forward momentum
and will I come in contact with
any of them yeah there's probably like a
one lagging behind
if you want to
okay that was
an open ended question like maybe
there's one that's got astmar
so
I mean I don't want to
but I just wanted to know if I would
or not if I was on this course of action
if I can avoid
I would love to avoid okay
yeah I'd say you can avoid it
as you yeah you come around
and you catch up to like the main group and you
see this cave before you
you hear that low growl echoing
out and then you see this
adult green
dragon bound out
of the cave towards you
and a giant plume
of poison breath
comes towards the wasps
make a dexterity saving throw please move
as I scream honey delivery
oh no not the guy
not the delivery guy he's got the goods
oh it's an 18
you see this and like
wiley coyote roadrunner
skid to a stop
as this breath like explodes
out in front of you
and manage to just dodge out
of the way as all of these wasps
take 56 poison damage
and just shrivel
up I mean that would have killed me twice
you would have died
and fall to the ground
Glim
you come around the corner there are a couple more
and it's the dragon swats them
out of the air as you all
kind of just stand
wherever you have
stopped
with a big green dragon
in front of you
I would just like to say
I think I would like to speak for everyone
here as as the most
qualified to speak
in front of people thank
you so so much
for for for freeing
us from that that pest
I'm sorry my dear fellow
I don't I didn't catch your
name my name is professor doctor
Smith what
is yours where's
the honey I
covered in it
don't eat me you hear
from inside the cave a
a higher pitched voice
professor doctor Smith is that you
maybe I want
to know more about the situation before I answer
that question it's me flip
I left you the note
I don't oh wait
no sorry it's me Trevor
I left you the note I
forgot you didn't know my real name
your name
wait now I'm just very confused
I'm sorry could anybody explain
what's happening here I'm gonna look at the
rest of you and the dragon
I think that flip is
actually Trevor
who used to work at your shop
Derek who and this must be
Latifus
we brought you some honey so you could
let flip go and also thank you for
getting all those wasps we really
appreciate it
I'm sort of gesturing to Sully like
I just have
one question
I just have one
question
is this your only supply
of honey just hopefully
you know
making adventures get it for you
or is this is this a delight you
would wish to partake in in a more
regular basis sounds like someone I
know
I say to the dragon I
don't understand what's happening with this
person in the cave
the dragon pauses
and then says
flip was making
hell wasp honey
malos
but refused to get the
honey when more wasps
moved in
wait
he was making you
these hell wasp treats
on the
side
no that's why my
stores ran out
flip you trevor
derek devin whoever that
the hell you are
you all face a honey badger
wrath my friend
a wrath
oh Sully's trying to get off the honey
badger he's just like
trying to peel himself off
just like every time he puts a hand
down to lift one up he's got one
stuck like looking at glim like
help I don't want to be part
of the honey badger rage yeah I do not
have any levels of barbarian but I would
like to rage
I believe a honey badger has her own rage
badger has a rage yeah
you see a
a stout halfling run out
excited that
you had come to save them but then see the
rage in your eyes
and they turn around and
run back into the dragon's cave
mm-hmm
listen
my dear dragon
fellow you of course are a
respected member of this forest
community and it is my job
as a
purveyor of business to provide
you with services that make
you both comfortable and feel
superior to all other people
so I am willing to
of course open a private
line of business to you and provide
you with more regular honey
so you do not have to be dependent on
the likes of such fools as
will die by my claws
you would make me the
hell wasp honey mallows
I can do this for you yes and far
better than whatever swill
this individual
has been giving you I have been in
the business for many years
and I have
I have two degrees
in beef
physiology
if there's anyone who can make you
sweet bee treats it is me
I am the most qualified in the
land just kind of looks
to each of you sully still
trying to get off of professor dr
smith I don't know what you all think
but I think this is
nothing but a business opportunity
in disguise
yeah I think you should
definitely set up some sort of business
relationship with the with the bees
and the honey and I like go over and
try to pull sully
please get away from this
this person
and I'm like trying to like scoop
the honey off of sully to like
put it in a container for the dragon
and it's not working very well and now it's
covered in hair the dragon shifts
into a human form
before you and says well it's about
time somebody has some
contractual obligations here
let's get everything signed up
and we'll get this sorted away right
quick I would love nothing
you know I hope you don't mind me
saying so but you're a rather attractive
individual I'm so glad to
have met you perhaps we could see
each other on a more regular basis
to do business
well of course yes yes
deliveries twice a week
oh yes
you know I've recently
gone on an adventure so I feel much
more qualified to
go deliver things myself
I love adventures
and hell wasp honey
mallows let's go talk about the recipe
what do you want to put
in yours
what do you want as the customer my dear
and as I totally ignore
all of the dragon
and professor Dr. Smith
walk back into the lair sully
removed I assume by this point
yeah we got him off
well that was fucking weird
yeah I you know my instinct
is always just to help everyone but I feel
like we learned a lesson
today yeah I don't know
that we helped anyone
but I did almost convert those wasp to
bahamut you were so close
oh my goodness wow
making that pledge
really like
upped my Zumba game I think you
guys would have to agree oh definitely well plus
you're like twice the size you normally are so
I wonder how long this is
going to last I don't know but would you carry me back
well okay
and because I'm so much bigger and everything
else is bigger I have a handkerchief in my pocket
that I pull out and like wrap around
sully because he's still very sticky so I
want to give him a ride but like also
gross you've burritoed me so I
kind of wrap I just swaddle him
like a little baby
glim, moot and swaddled baby
sully walk back towards
drothamar
better maybe we'll see
I mean different forever
changed
better maybe we'll see
I mean different forever
changed
the song long road ahead is
by Kavin McLeod of Inkompetech.Filmmusic.io
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Have a great week, and we'll talk soon.
Sorry guys, I've never played a shifter, and I've never played an artificer, so this is a great deal of fun.
We've been playing the same characters for years, and we still spend hours looking shit up, so please take your time.
Does it have something to do with the literal bear costume that I just noticed is behind you in the physical location you are in?
That one back there?
Sorry, sorry to interrupt, I just was like, what's that? Is that actually a claw? Oh, there's a bear back there.
That's not a bee, that's a bear in a bee costume.
Bears like bees?
We do.
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