[0.0s] previously on Dumbgeons and Dragons.
[90.0s] see anything but I know I definitely saw something it's all I wouldn't understand
[94.8s] you take care of yourself dead dense if you guys see us in town you you
[101.1s] will definitely have a seat right up in the front we wouldn't miss it that's
[106.8s] awesome
[129.0s] welcome to Dumbgeons and Dragons I'm your dungeon master Russ Mourn with me
[133.0s] today is Amy More yes that is me I came at this with a very different energy
[137.7s] than I had previously and I play Sullivan slight and Tom layer yeah
[142.2s] that's me I play moot also with me Carla Max dead that is me I play glim
[148.1s] joining us today a very special guest she's a writer streamer podcaster
[153.4s] from venture maidens and also author on that little book you might have
[157.4s] heard of it Rime of the Frostmaiden it's Celeste Conowitch
[162.1s] I'm so excited to be here we're all silently clapping I realize we were all
[171.8s] trying to do it I'll take it should I say who I'm playing today yeah let's
[177.1s] do that I'm playing professor dr. Smith today for this podcast and I'm
[184.4s] excited about it I am a loving the accent work I love that it's professor
[189.6s] the name I love everything that's happening already two degrees the hard
[193.8s] way oh I was assuming that your first name was doctor perhaps I am also a
[200.0s] Smith by trade I am multi-talented professor dr. Smith is a is a character
[205.6s] created by one of our patrons to Devin Michaels thank you Devin thanks
[211.5s] thank you Celeste for embodying professor dr. Smith today yes I hope I
[216.0s] do them justice Devin thank you if you would like to join us on Patreon you
[219.8s] also get an episode dedicated to you like today's patrons Cedric Bozzi again
[228.2s] awesome name that's what I was just thinking what a cool name somebody for
[232.6s] patrons of such cool names I know it sounds like a character name from a
[236.4s] movie but it's a real person or is it or is it oh maybe it's a pen name of
[241.8s] some sort I thought you were gonna say Panda could have some sort of credit
[253.5s] card and sponsoring us monthly yeah you don't know Amy right you can join
[260.0s] us at Patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast and now fuck it let's play
[264.6s] Mook Glim and Sully you've been hanging out in the great city of
[268.7s] Gerard Tamar the dragonborn homeland for about a week or two since you've
[273.9s] separated ways with dense he's gone off and joined puff the magic dragon
[280.0s] on tour across the realm what have you three been up to for Glim after
[286.6s] you know making a pledge to Bahamette and maybe like trying to
[290.2s] make friends with that one person that worked at that one temple that was
[293.6s] kind of just a room I don't know how that worked out did that work out are
[296.7s] they my new friend they absolutely they're your new friend they revered
[300.2s] you when you showed up if you were called yeah so you could have spent
[303.3s] much time there okay I again now that you just said that I take it back
[307.7s] because Glim doesn't like to be revered Glim likes to try and
[310.9s] proselytize I think she is interested more in folks who aren't that
[316.3s] interested in what she's selling so yeah she's probably been maybe checking out
[324.7s] some of the other temples because I know you said like there's sort of a
[328.5s] little bit of this and a little bit of that all over there so I think she's
[331.8s] pretty interested in in what else is on is on offer in Gerard Tamar if
[337.2s] you've managed to check out many of the the temples there's temples of
[343.3s] probably been a good stop for you there is a temple to Tiamat which isn't widely
[351.0s] used especially since well the recent events of I don't know that she's that
[356.4s] open yeah it's a members only club to get into that one you need you need the
[362.9s] code yeah I think she might have avoided that one maybe some like gave
[366.6s] it some real mean looks from outside Sully has been talking to pretty
[371.9s] much every person who has a stall in the general market area also has snuck
[377.7s] away to for sure draw dick on the door of the Tiamat temple love it didn't
[384.6s] scroll his name like he maybe normally would have but definitely just a big
[389.4s] penis because that's what he thinks of them mood has discovered a thing
[395.0s] that they have in Gerard Tamar that they don't have in other places that
[398.1s] he's been to it's called a buffet and a lot of competing restaurants have these
[403.4s] buffets and he has been going real hard and his well his clothes are fitting
[410.3s] a little tighter than they were when everyone arrived here in town what was
[414.2s] your favorite buffet that you went to there was one that they served this
[417.6s] like meat that rotated and they were like shaving bits off of it and he
[423.8s] didn't even get the name of it he just he smelled it from the street
[426.4s] came in ate his fill and then like staggered out the door so when when meat
[431.0s] is Hillip's idea it's not a good idea but when it's your idea it's a good
[435.7s] idea that is correct. Listen, Hillip's not even here to be upset about this Russ. No, it's fine. Compartmentalize. Just throwing it, just bringing it. It's a callback, right? Anyways, throughout
[447.0s] your travels you'd seen that you've seen like signs and had heard
[450.7s] mentions of this wonderful apiary just on the edge outside of the main pyramid
[459.4s] of Gerard-Thamar right where the plains meet there's a small grove of trees and
[466.4s] you've been told that this is a place a site that you have to see while
[472.4s] you're visiting. Okay you guys I know you don't love the like touristy
[476.5s] thing but we have to go to this apiary like every temple I've gone to
[480.4s] they've told me that it's like the one place you have to go while you're here
[483.2s] so could we please just go? I'm really sorry to bring this up I just don't
[488.1s] normally think that girls enjoy going to the apiary it's really because
[493.6s] well just it's so hard to get the stream over the edge you know you know
[498.4s] I'm saying like and he's making like lewd gestures from his crotch and and
[508.7s] pointing down and like and I just don't I think it's really more for you know if
[513.4s] you are more anatomically outward you get what I'm saying? I don't maybe I
[521.2s] misunderstood what an apiary is but could you explain what you mean? Well
[525.7s] yeah it's so like so an apiary is when most of the like latrines are
[531.8s] full right and it's also kind of just a special experience because you
[535.8s] go up high right in this like you're up and like almost like a balcony kind of
[541.0s] situation and it's when you're peeing over the edge into the air but moods
[547.4s] just frantically writing down pee balcony question mark you have to see
[554.2s] that I mean it's not the tour okay well I don't maybe we should just go
[564.0s] see I'm not I feel like my understanding of what it is and your
[567.9s] understanding I'm not sure you're supposed to just go to look I mean
[571.6s] that's really this place has changed you but I mean I could yep and he
[575.8s] wiggles around a little bit he's like yeah I could go the three of you
[578.8s] uncertain what you're walking into head off and out of the pyramid and down
[582.9s] towards the location wherever it is so he's gonna be there where he's made
[587.1s] that abundantly clear there may or may not be public urination well we'll
[590.4s] see there will be but as they approach round over and down a path what do they
[595.9s] see so I think as you're traveling towards the outskirts of town here you
[600.2s] know the houses are a little error the buildings are a little bit further
[602.9s] apart so you can actually start to see you know glimpses of nature on the
[606.5s] outside edges here and so right on that borderline between like urban
[610.2s] and natural settings there's this cute little like whitewash shop that has
[615.5s] this big sign on it painted in like happy gold and black letters it's a big
[621.1s] B and then a plus sign that makes up the sign here so B plus and you know
[628.6s] there's a little set of double doors and shop windows have been set up in
[632.2s] this little front stand area and there are a variety of honestly just
[637.4s] trinkets inside it's sort of like walking by like a bath and body works
[641.2s] where you look in the window and you're like what is actually in this
[643.8s] window every once in a while there's like little bottles of stuff that have
[647.7s] like amber colored liquid and lots of like baskets and like decor that all
[652.4s] seems kind of be like honey themed and then you can tell behind this
[657.6s] building there is a large patch of land that has been like concealed with
[662.8s] high fencing on all the sides so that's what you see B plus in front
[667.8s] of you okay Sully before we go in here I just want you to promise me
[673.1s] that you're not going to pee unless you see several other people already
[681.9s] peeing so like okay more than two let's say four or more people I can also
[690.6s] join in the urination sure what if I just find a bathroom yeah that's great
[697.1s] oh then you can go right all right I just wanted to know like there's so
[701.5s] many rules also I'm not sure this is exactly what I think it is yeah I think
[706.2s] that might be the case I'm going to go try the door the door is opened and
[712.0s] like a happy little like there's like a little fat like bee wind chime that
[717.3s] kind of like bangs and like you know lights on sound I think as you
[721.7s] step inside it definitely looks like a gift shop of some kind you see a lot
[726.5s] more of that same product that was in the window around like neat kind
[729.8s] of shelves that fill this area here there's like little plushies of bees and
[735.0s] then you see like a little glass cabinet that has like all of these
[739.0s] little jars that are labeled different floral sounding names and then there's
[744.8s] a counter on one side and you see that there are a couple different signs
[748.9s] here there's purchases is in front of one side of the counter here and then
[753.6s] tours is on the other side and of course these are both on little like
[757.6s] painted signs hanging on the different parts of the counter here this place
[762.5s] smells good I guess would I be you could or or your or or your your your
[768.5s] assistant could be there I bet my assistant would be here I don't think
[772.5s] I'm working the counter I have that's right I don't work the counter
[780.6s] yeah you you step in you get that initial look around the room and then
[786.2s] stepping out from a back room is a taller man he's long and lanky very
[791.8s] rustic clothing he steps out his head kind of protrudes a little bit like out
[797.7s] from his shoulders in a way that like you know you should probably see a
[802.8s] chiropractor and he comes out and he looks at you and says welcome what can
[810.0s] I do for you I'm Derek hi Derek I'm Sullivan Sleight hi Derek nice nice to
[818.2s] meet you we're just visitors to Girathamara and everyone said we
[823.1s] should come here so like I guess a tour oh what do you guys think and I
[827.2s] look at Moot and Sully like I don't want to buy things in the gift shop
[832.5s] until I do the tour right right he goes over to the tour side of the
[836.5s] desk and says just come over come over here it's like five feet away maybe
[843.1s] switches hat or something or put on a pin that says tour guide on like a
[848.1s] safety vest below the desk and pulls out a clipboard and says just write
[853.6s] your write your names and as you're writing your names on the on the clip
[858.3s] board you look up and he does have a different hat on and a different
[861.9s] vest says well I whether the tours starts in 15 minutes well I'm off for
[873.9s] browsing I guess can I touch any of the stuff in the bottles what's in the
[880.0s] bottles hold on he pokes his head in the back professor I'm having a question
[894.0s] here I don't know if I've ever had this question before can they touch the
[898.3s] things in the bottles oh we have a curious mind amongst us one moment and
[905.7s] you hear like tumbling from the back and then stepping out from behind like the
[910.4s] little like gold curtain that separates the doors leading backwards
[913.7s] you see a very squat kind of middle-aged to late age gentleman his
[921.1s] face is very small and kind of like his his chin comes forward a little
[925.9s] bit like almost like a snout and his hair is cropped very shortly and has
[930.8s] this like wide stripe of silver white just going down the middle with the
[935.4s] black on the sides here and he looks at you through little like gold
[938.6s] spectacles and he's like mmm a question I do I am extremely qualified to answer
[947.6s] questions is this of a medical nature or a physiological nature I want to
[955.0s] stick my fingers into the little jaws of the brown stuff more of a touch
[961.8s] you see why I I I didn't have an answer uh yes I'm sorry is this um are you
[972.7s] hoping to buy things do you want a sample you want a sample I think is
[977.5s] what you're trying to sample oh wonderful well we do have this
[981.8s] wonderful why didn't you offer them samples Trevor yeah Trevor I didn't
[988.0s] know your name was Trevor I go by Trevor when I have my tour guide hat
[992.2s] on professor dr. Smith calls him a different name every single time he
[1002.7s] narrows his eyes he's like when did you change your name no it's fine it's
[1008.4s] fine tour guide Trevor here you can sample just don't we had a Trevor
[1014.1s] working here last week the same young man you fired Trevor I'm Derek oh well
[1022.2s] Derek or whatever your name is go give them some samples they're in the bin
[1026.3s] back over there yeah have you given them you're useless Trevor Derek or
[1032.3s] whoever you are welcome welcome to be plus the finest apiary the only
[1037.6s] apiary in the entire city here we produce many fine honeys waxes all
[1044.2s] sorts all manners of varieties of great creations that we source to the
[1049.7s] meter ease around here do you enjoy mead we probably had something to do
[1053.7s] with it I do enjoy me yes well you cannot make mead without bees I brought
[1058.8s] the samples here which one brown brown one yes so we sort of and I'll like
[1067.4s] arrange them on the table and you see it my nails are very long almost like
[1071.6s] claws as I arrange these these little like pots of honey for you on this
[1077.6s] table and that all of these are influenced by of course different
[1083.0s] floral sense that we have incorporated I I'm sort of a an artisanal honey maker
[1090.5s] if you will if you will of course and one of the parts is like empty on the
[1095.5s] thing and I look at it very sadly and say unfortunately I cannot give you
[1100.1s] my greatest creation my fondest creation for lack of materials but
[1107.2s] Trevor removes his hat and puts it to his chest oh my god who are you sorry
[1112.2s] I'm Derek without the hat I'll put it back on I was just I was just morning
[1117.7s] morning the the the lost sample is my sight isn't what it used to be you
[1123.8s] all smell the same to be so all all of the samples are different yes oh
[1129.2s] yes my lad we have we have many varieties of hives on the property
[1134.9s] and of course I do a little of this a little of that some of its nature some
[1138.9s] of it of course is alchemy to create these different flavors so here why
[1144.3s] don't you try this one it's a it's a lavender and then this one here we
[1147.4s] have a cinnamon blend and I'm scooting them closer towards you with
[1150.9s] like little dippy pieces like wooden pieces Sully's for sure got his
[1156.0s] fingers in there and in no time is absolutely covered in honey like this
[1160.8s] kid is sticky oh so sticky my goodness it's everywhere I don't know what
[1166.6s] happened I thought I put it in my mouth I wish at this point we would even be
[1170.6s] surprised by that but it just happened so often oh oh please mr. buffet why
[1175.1s] don't get it all over myself it just all goes in me and I mean of course
[1181.8s] if the honey won't delight you I do have several other objects that you
[1187.3s] might find interesting I do a bit of artificing here as well so I'm sure
[1192.8s] there's something oh what about the bubbles oh the bubbles yes you do look
[1201.7s] like and I look specifically at slowly I'm like you look like the sort
[1205.4s] who would enjoy something like that oh I would like bubbles yes yes please
[1210.6s] I take out a little like wicker basket from behind the counter no no we
[1214.6s] haven't set these out for everyone yet so this is sort of a first look but here
[1219.4s] we are they are bubbles and there is a little like printed logo that's been
[1225.5s] put on them that says ever bubbles with an exclamation point and it said
[1230.0s] made with equal parts joy and depravity and their honey flavor you tell me
[1237.0s] these bubbles yeah well she first batch didn't go go so well well regular
[1247.5s] bubbly bubbles are useless because they pop so we made some that don't they
[1251.6s] don't pop so don't eat them because they'll never pop and you'll just have
[1258.1s] a bubble sitting inside you for all eternity so I must express please do
[1265.6s] not eat I'm saying it would probably only stand you till you get to the
[1268.4s] poopy area am I right well mm-hmm Trevor's not here for a reason
[1273.4s] oh well okay I maybe I won't play with the bubbles but I'll watch I'm
[1279.8s] definitely not gonna eat them but I'm interested in the joy and depravity so
[1284.4s] what does that mean well the depravity part is it can be
[1289.2s] destroyed with a sharp metal if you have the ever bubble liquid of course
[1294.1s] then they turn into a combustible sort of situation we're still working on it
[1300.4s] but this is the first launch and we are very excited to test them on a
[1305.0s] market so would you say it's more of like a soft launch oh yes that is a
[1310.8s] great way to put it yeah I don't have a degree in marketing so you know
[1317.9s] that's a that's helpful advice friend anyway yes we have a ton of these if
[1325.2s] you would like to buy them could I see these bubbles in action yeah what do
[1330.0s] what do they do hmm Derek why don't you show oh yeah um okay so well you
[1339.2s] take take take the bubble one you take the one yes always start with
[1347.1s] put it put it in the bubbles yeah dip it up and down up and down up and down up
[1351.0s] and down and then not too much no sorry yeah right you're creating some frost
[1356.3s] oh you need the specific right liquid to mixture ratio liquid to mixture
[1361.6s] ratio right I forgot that mixture ratio three to one right yep okay and
[1367.8s] then you purse your lips and blow just so just so a gentle blow more of
[1374.3s] a whisper sorry and then a bubble forms out the end and it it floats in the air
[1382.0s] and it's shimmery appearance to it as it floats down professor doctor could
[1388.9s] you hand me the the sharp object I know you told me not to handle them
[1392.2s] but you also told me to sample this well I'm honestly not quite sure who
[1397.6s] you are just give it a shot I can't do a pair of scissors from like a high
[1405.4s] shelf or something like okay well um all right ready oh we probably
[1414.1s] shouldn't do this inside should we that's oh no no no we should not get
[1418.2s] the bubble out I'm waving the bubble with like a piece of paper out the
[1421.4s] door follow me it never pops can you just pick it up in your hands you can
[1425.4s] try you can certainly try I would not like I would not like to try we'll
[1432.0s] continue fanning we get out front and he's like already here we here we go
[1443.6s] don't don't be surprised I start I hide behind glim a little bit it's very
[1450.1s] surprising I feel like it's a little late for that Derek Trevor goes to pop the
[1457.0s] bubble you are with with the scissors and it explodes and there's this mist
[1462.4s] that forms and then from it almost from like inside of it a giant ball of
[1468.9s] flame engulfs and goes up into the air there I see why you didn't want to
[1476.9s] do that inside why you wouldn't want to eat that so also that claps yes Sully is
[1483.1s] like so impressed on on second thought perhaps we shouldn't have made the
[1487.0s] bubbles so delicious yeah really discourage that but like I was saying
[1494.6s] I would absolutely love to try this mixture one more time but of course
[1499.5s] with the materials gone I cannot if only there were some
[1504.2s] adventurers who could help me with this task alas here I am on the outskirts of
[1511.0s] town unable to make more bubbles professor dr. Smith just just says this
[1518.0s] all all the time I'm not only if only no no Derek you must stay here you
[1526.1s] must mind the store Derek I have two degrees I cannot stand behind that
[1530.9s] counter what would the people say Derek what would they say Derek yeah Derek
[1536.4s] Derek come on yeah Derek get your head yeah Derek oh you're so not smart I
[1544.2s] miss Trevor to be quite honest Derek puts his hat back on it's Trevor too
[1548.2s] oh my gosh there's this strange man who insists he works for me and I
[1557.4s] don't know what to do about it quite honestly next time I see him I'll I'll
[1560.9s] kick him out good just punch him right in the snoot I'll punch him in the
[1564.8s] snoot what's he leans down to the to the group what's the snoot I think I
[1570.8s] think he means the nose right oh you're in the face area I have to
[1574.7s] punch myself in the face yeah you should probably do it fast okay well
[1579.1s] maybe I'll tell okay no it's all right I'll figure it out yeah okay okay
[1582.7s] yeah I'll watch I'll watch I won't let that other person watch the
[1586.6s] store a Glimer sounds like a good thing that like something we could do
[1590.6s] to help maybe yeah is the material I assume is the same one that you're
[1595.3s] missing from your most favorite honey that you normally have indeed indeed
[1601.6s] it is there has been an alarming shortage of hell wasps again oh you
[1610.9s] have to go this is Trevor again I got that information I mean yeah I got I
[1618.5s] got that information flip knows where the hell wasps are in the in the
[1625.8s] forest is the thing that you need for the like when there's a really big guy
[1635.4s] and you call him tiny so these are no no they're wasps from hell so you can
[1641.6s] imagine why I am just there's just out of sorts out of sorts without them for
[1649.4s] how can I make more marvelous bubbles for the children if I do not have
[1654.3s] access to more of this explosive venom you're giving that they carry giving
[1660.1s] the bubbles to children sure the bubbles of course you give bubbles to
[1663.0s] children adults should not play with bubbles exploding fire bubbles I there's
[1669.9s] only one kind of bubbles so I don't know what you're implying perfect got
[1674.3s] it it's just it's a different culture so oh I well I hmm guys my story it
[1682.7s] brought us into this I feel like we're a little bit like kind of like
[1687.0s] where obligated to do this I was totally like was like oh we can help
[1691.5s] with this but are the hell wasps in hell currently or oh I don't know my my
[1699.1s] last assistant was researching it Trevor could you could you get them
[1704.1s] could you get that information from them yeah yeah he takes his hat off
[1709.7s] changes clothes again both my character and Celeste are so so it's it's all
[1721.0s] genuine yeah hey Derek here I know I was the guy you didn't want to see
[1725.8s] watch he puts his hat half on his head and punches himself in the face oh yeah
[1731.0s] oh this is the stuff anyways I got that information you just have to go
[1736.2s] into the meth wood forest and meet up with flip you know flip he hides out in
[1743.1s] there and then deals with all the bees and the wasps and all the stuff that
[1746.2s] is native in the in the in the forest he said he saw some hell wasps
[1750.8s] and you could probably go there and Bob's your uncle you got the whole
[1757.2s] wasp I just uncle Bob have to do with this there's so many people we're
[1762.1s] meeting today I this is just an extraordinary how much business we've
[1768.3s] had I'm gonna I'm gonna put my hat back on so oh look Trevor's back Trevor
[1773.6s] thank you I chased him off professor you know what Trevor you you should get
[1779.4s] a raise I know you're an unpaid intern but I will I will pay you more
[1784.3s] in wisdom that the the most valuable of all commodities more valuable than
[1793.0s] money sure I shall remind you once again what my mom always said she's
[1798.2s] like Trevor Derek Derek Derek she starved to death she said sustained
[1807.3s] us all money is for the week the week money is for artists money is for
[1818.2s] artists this really is a different culture it's the middle baby what are
[1834.2s] we talking about today jingles and jangles no doubt oh maybe some stuff
[1839.3s] jingles and jangles holiday season yep that one coin purses all of these
[1844.6s] things and more are coming your way somewhere some way somehow you'll know
[1850.0s] it when it hits you but we're explaining it right now for you that
[1853.6s] we're not gonna explain it but what we do have that we would like you to
[1857.2s] check out is Patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast where how many patrons
[1860.8s] are we up to now as as it stands right now as we're recording yeah maybe we'll
[1866.5s] let Amy take this one what did you say 69 oh Amy said 69 she said it all
[1872.9s] sultry too I did yeah yep so we couldn't even wait for our episode
[1878.4s] 69 which is in two episodes because you beat us to it patrons yeah I'm
[1884.0s] talking to you thank thanks for being so great thunder yeah yeah thank you yeah
[1889.3s] just a little aggressive coming at you with that love there we have a thing
[1893.2s] going on new and upgrading patrons get some cool stuff and then for every
[1899.5s] five we get we record a bonus episode there's a lot going on is what I'm
[1904.0s] saying and it's all like pretty great and for 2020 how many times has
[1908.8s] someone said there's a lot going on and then followed it up with the
[1911.8s] sentence and it's pretty great you just heard history breaking ground here on
[1922.1s] Dumbgeons and Dragons Patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast new and upgrading
[1925.7s] patrons every five bonus episode plus those patrons who are new and
[1929.6s] upgrading get some sweet merch in their pockets in time for Christmas if
[1934.2s] you sign up December 9th 2020 because that's the year we're in hmm yeah
[1940.1s] yes that one I mean yeah if I 60 because currently have 69 we would like to be at
[1946.2s] 70 because that means bigger community more people we want to get to know you
[1949.4s] I mean let it linger for a little bit if you see it there's like admire it
[1953.2s] and then just do a nice screenshot screenshot so you can remember it yeah
[1959.6s] don't wait too long though cuz someone's probably doing the same
[1961.8s] thing and they're gonna tip it over to 70 like an accidental sign up when
[1966.0s] you're trying to screenshot yeah that would be that would be tragic so
[1968.7s] you miss the boat I think it's just that our patrons see the value in this
[1972.8s] awesome deal and all the like stuff cool stuff we want to give them and
[1976.4s] obviously 11 people thought it was totally worth it so thank you yes
[1979.9s] thank you thank you so Patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast we'll see you
[1983.2s] over there and now get back to this episode with Celeste who's just amazing
[1987.3s] isn't she so fun go check out all of Celeste things at her website Celeste
[1993.2s] conowitch.com then go listen to her at vent on the venture maidens cuz she's
[1998.5s] great over there and then go get that rhyme of the frost maiden cuz she wrote
[2001.6s] that that's so cool so cool oh I saw a thing too on DM's guild she wrote like
[2006.3s] a book of puzzles yes she did and it looked really cool she's got so many
[2010.3s] things out there she's such a talented person and so nice and so fun
[2014.4s] and it came late a game with us which is like makes me question her
[2017.8s] judgment a little bit but in all other ways she's like Celeste really did
[2021.5s] nothing else going on gonna end on that high note here where we're
[2024.6s] questioning the guest who you're gonna come listen to but gushing but gushing
[2027.8s] yes thank you all for being here hopefully you're having a wonderful and
[2031.7s] safe time and we'll talk to you very soon okay bye bye bye okay so if I get
[2037.0s] this straight we have to go into the meth forest sorry sorry takes his
[2042.0s] hat off meth wood puts his hat back would I don't what the fuck is the
[2046.4s] difference between the wood and the forest I don't know word so the mess
[2052.2s] two syllables as well and flip which what kind of name is that even three
[2057.9s] letters what mm-hmm what is it FLP yeah they didn't even have a vowel
[2064.8s] that's fucked up I'm getting very agitated with this there was an
[2068.5s] exploding bubble I'm still sticky it's getting to me you guys and now
[2072.9s] there are hell wasps yes how do you not get stung by a hell wasp oh you
[2078.8s] will probably get stung but the good news is that you all paid for a tour
[2085.5s] already didn't you so that way I can provide you with some bee keeping
[2091.3s] gear and I shall be there as well and I do consider myself a bit of an
[2096.8s] expert with bees wasps insects of all varieties so as long as you stay by me
[2104.3s] you should be more than safe is is that what you're a professor of is is is
[2111.4s] bees or you're you're not a professor yeah you cannot profess bees what
[2118.1s] college offers a B degree no absolutely not I am I am a professor of B
[2125.4s] physiology to let you know to clear that right up I am also a medical doctor
[2132.6s] of bees but no I do not have a degree in bees or something like you are the
[2141.1s] person to call yes I can save a bee having a heart attack okay I don't like
[2147.0s] to talk about it too much because you know flaunting my heroic status
[2151.7s] seems a bit vain don't you think but yes I can do open-heart surgery on a bee if
[2158.8s] it is required well if you're so why do you need adventurers because I am
[2165.8s] old young man I am old and tired and I need help I thought with all the
[2171.0s] wisdom you'd be able to handle it who knows what's on the way to get to
[2176.4s] these bees I can deal with the bees and the wasps and but there's the
[2181.6s] whole lot of forest between here and wood forest all places I don't want to
[2190.3s] be I just need I need the hell wasps and I need to come back here will will
[2195.5s] you help me it's really the bottom line I mean I feel like we sort of
[2202.1s] already said we would before really getting the facts of the scenario so
[2206.5s] that's a life lesson I think maybe for us I was just trying to be so like
[2212.4s] glim you know like helpful and stuff and I really put my foot in it this
[2216.4s] time I'm not gonna lie cuz you know what we actually ended up paying her to
[2220.0s] go and help her find hell wasps so that's really it's doing the
[2227.0s] community a service think of all the children think of all the children
[2231.8s] enjoy the end result of this it's gonna be a check in the wing column for us
[2238.7s] either Trevor standing behind professor Dr. Smith and he's like you didn't pay
[2244.5s] mouthing oh that's true that's true I mean I'm not doing anything else I
[2253.8s] guess but do you have like a wet wipe or something to these sticky the
[2258.8s] situation yes oh I also run a business in cleaning products it's amazing what
[2264.8s] you can do when you work in honey you do have to develop quite a few things
[2269.6s] to get sticky things off so yes here are my my my dr. professor Smith wipes
[2275.5s] here you are I like hold out some wet wipes that I've rebranded with my
[2282.4s] own name when I pull one out it continually goes and I like shake it
[2287.3s] like a towel it's like towel size I'm like oh my god yes you get very sticky
[2293.1s] working yes maybe maybe one day I'll actually take you on the tour and you
[2297.8s] can see what I what I spend my days nobly doing I think we're gonna get
[2302.3s] like you know the behind-the-scenes how to capture hell wasps to a
[2308.2s] very exciting invaluable than the mountain knowledge that we're going to
[2313.8s] going to be astronomical yes yes you are being paid in wisdom truly it's the
[2320.1s] best currency that is that is the rumor that's right Trevor or Derek and he
[2329.2s] narrows his eyes and looks at you is like this is how Tarek got his name on
[2335.2s] HGTV I just have I guess one question do you have some sort of special container
[2349.8s] or I have two questions is there a container yes our hell wasps the same
[2357.5s] size as normal wasps just extra mean or are they just okay they're from hell of
[2366.5s] course they're larger you have to be so big to survive down there what those
[2371.6s] little guys down there just hanging out with Devils like oh I'm a B size
[2376.2s] and get murdered right it was a silly question so so do we like dogs
[2384.6s] they're honestly they're like dogs like a large dog I'm not I'm not kidding
[2390.5s] around a large dog that flies and stings people yes cool cool yeah let's do more
[2396.8s] of that extremely poison it's arm and I'm like scared yeah I think I think
[2404.2s] that's a good call Sully while this conversation is happening Tarek is
[2407.7s] going around with a tape measure measuring everybody's like dimensions
[2414.8s] arms legs in seams and then he rushes inside okay I'm so glad you you walked
[2423.6s] into my store and and were able to help me you know most people just run
[2427.9s] the other way when I ask them for things I don't know why no idea
[2432.2s] definitely not disappointed that I'm not peeing off a ledge right now
[2435.8s] I was gonna say do you usually lead with the hell wasp information because I feel
[2440.2s] like that would send people running instead of easing into well I do have a
[2445.3s] variety of projects I until very recently I had enough you know ground
[2450.9s] carapaces and everything to last me quite a while but you know there are
[2455.4s] always new projects and it seems people don't want to go after fire
[2461.0s] elementals and then give me shambling mound parts and sometimes they don't
[2465.5s] want to give me the heart of a gelatinous cube and I just don't know
[2470.3s] why people are just so generally unhelpful so this is just such such a
[2475.6s] delight selfish really those other people it truly true I mean it's all
[2479.6s] for science especially with the amount of wisdom I give every day to all
[2484.6s] those around me you think it's no it's my turn it's dr. professor
[2489.1s] dr. Smith's turn no no it's not just standing near you good good what I am a
[2501.1s] doctor did somebody say they need medical attention I cannot help you
[2505.6s] unless you are a bee oh yeah I mean I mean my my great-great-grandmother my
[2513.0s] father's side was a bee but I mean other than that oh that's fascinating
[2518.0s] congratulations there I do feel superior than others Derek runs out mm-hmm with
[2524.0s] four beekeeper suits and says here you go now is this made out of like a
[2529.7s] magic material or something that's gonna protect me no it's just mesh
[2533.8s] just mesh and then you have the big the big hat in the big mesh it'll
[2542.6s] come down and sort of them so when they fly at you they get confused and they
[2548.8s] can't sting your face except that they are the size of large dogs so yes that
[2554.5s] is true okay that is true but we look great I've always been perfectly safe
[2560.2s] inside of one of these suits nothing bad has ever happened to me in
[2564.0s] my entire life so I think you should trust me turn around and Trevor is
[2569.2s] trying to put on your suits for you like just trying to feed your arms into them
[2574.7s] it's like getting in lifting your leg like it's important to make sure
[2579.6s] everything is sealed so those little fuckers they'll get right into your
[2584.8s] cups the dog-sized fuckers will just get right in there I have a feeling like I may end up right in one of these things by the end of this
[2594.0s] encounter I'm gonna put on my B suit I'm gonna help Trevor Derek help me put on
[2601.6s] my B suit I'm gonna stand there like I'm getting fitted for my wedding day
[2606.7s] and let him put it on for me could you just lift your leg could you lift
[2612.8s] my leg for me Derek professor he's not lifting his leg oh my lad you
[2619.9s] must lift your leg Trevor is is apparently incapable of doing so you can't
[2625.3s] just find good help nowadays can you and I lift my leg I'm being paid in
[2629.1s] wisdom it doesn't feed me very well but it's the best currency I'm sorry are
[2635.2s] you complaining about being game queen because there are plenty of people out there
[2639.8s] look at that I'm all zipped up let's go my hat my hat fell off that was
[2643.6s] Derek sorry Trevor's back I missed you
[2649.3s] really reminds me of my floppy Sun hat guys I love it yeah where they happened
[2654.3s] to that floppy Sun you know I think I just left it back at the B&B so many
[2658.9s] things behind oh bees I know about bees of course maybe you should open
[2666.8s] B&B also professor Dr. Smith does not put on a suit so okay well I'll just I'll
[2682.7s] just hold on to it back here for you professor Dr. Smith yes I don't look
[2685.8s] cool in it I'm I'm going on an adventure yes so I need to look cool totally not
[2696.2s] cool yeah hundred percent also all my weapons are inside my suit yes see
[2704.2s] that is gonna be very hard to deal with that is why I did not want to deal
[2707.4s] with that would it be okay if I unzip my suit no I mean if you want that
[2711.7s] if you want to open up that chasm that chasm for those little bee feet to crawl
[2716.9s] inside that's up to you that's on you man I don't know what to do I unzip it
[2725.6s] like a little bit of the way and I hold the zipper I make a tisking sound
[2731.8s] I feel shamed we we fade out on the scene as Trevor Derek Derek waves and
[2740.5s] says hopefully you make it back alive that was ominous you'll punch yourself
[2747.4s] Eric Eric Eric and we flash ahead and we're in the methods for the scene
[2760.0s] idiots in a suit yes sir dude very cool very cool professor doctor aside
[2770.1s] from that the scene is dark the canopy is very thick the sound of of birds and
[2776.6s] insects is like ringing throughout the forest there's a path that you're
[2780.8s] following as much as you don't know where you're going
[2788.6s] Derek Terrick Trevor told you just to follow the path and that will lead
[2793.6s] you to flip so do you do you all peruse many forests is this is this like a
[2801.8s] new thing or is this old old hat hey just you know I'm walking very
[2811.4s] strangely also kind of in the middle bouncing in a great time
[2817.2s] yeah oh yeah professor dr. Smith doesn't get out a lot no no no I spent my youth
[2826.1s] inside universities and inside B hospitals and I just never quite got
[2833.0s] around to doing the adventuring thing I mean sure there was a little time in
[2837.5s] my youth when I did a bit of artificing but now I mean I sort of
[2842.1s] just do projects in my garage as it was this is all very very exciting yes in a
[2848.0s] few forests yeah we've we've traveled a bit flip the pathway opens up into a
[2859.8s] large clearing and in the center of this clearing there is a small hut from
[2864.6s] the distance that you you see you see like there's a small smokestack with
[2869.0s] plumes of smoke coming up and out of it the door looks closed you don't see you
[2873.4s] see like a low glow of fire coming from inside but no signs of anybody moving
[2880.4s] in around the area hey move why don't you knock on that door there that's I
[2884.5s] think I'm just gonna knock hello oh sure take it away glim hello and I
[2889.5s] knock knock knock I say knock knock and also knock oh you're one of
[2894.4s] those people also taps her wrist when she's asking someone what time it is
[2900.4s] oh the horror has you knock knock the door slowly creaks open that's that's
[2910.2s] never good hmm excuse me is someone needs to oil your hinges I do have oil
[2919.7s] if you have money to give me flip is it is there such a thing as bee oil yes
[2930.1s] of course oh I'm learning so much I really I realize now I just don't know
[2935.5s] that much about bees oh well there's a wide variety of products you can get
[2940.5s] from bees and I started listing I'm like wax and pheromones are forming the
[2949.0s] basis of soaps and candles inside this house don't like the wisdom my god are
[2962.5s] you in here Sully you go into the house yeah anything to get away from all the
[2968.7s] knowledge and wisdom Sully doesn't like the wisdom it's an empty empty
[2975.7s] cottage it's a single single room there's a bed a table two chairs a little
[2982.5s] kitchen area and like a stove fireplace that is has a fire going in it but
[2988.8s] then there's a note like a sealed envelope on the table and it's
[2994.9s] addressed to oh professor dr. Smith yeah this is for you the same look at
[3001.6s] it oh who do you think it's from if I had to take an educated guess they
[3008.4s] didn't they didn't put a return address on it it's just poor poor
[3013.0s] penmanship I'll say as I'm they also didn't mail it it was just left in
[3017.6s] their own home oh god somebody lives here in the middle of the woods how
[3021.2s] uncomfortable so what does it let us say maybe it will be oh yes yes and I
[3026.5s] use one of my ridiculously long like nail claws to open it up in a sharp
[3032.4s] motion and I will take take the letter out delicately you unfold it and begin
[3039.3s] to read it and it says dearest professor dr. Smith help I have been
[3046.0s] kidnapped how would you be able to write this if you were kidding okay by
[3051.7s] by the fiercest Latavus this means nothing to me does this name mean anything to
[3067.5s] anybody else that platypus I guess so oh no Latavus is that oh it's hard to make
[3074.0s] out here everybody can make a history check obviously professor dr. Smith
[3078.9s] knows nothing about last ten seventeen thank goodness oh you would know too
[3086.7s] wouldn't you yeah you read a book about him I write a lot of things down
[3090.1s] the the name catches you as odd at first but then you remember that Latavus
[3095.5s] is a green dragon who up until recently had been known to mostly live
[3102.9s] or reside in the western areas of Faerun but has since moved more central
[3111.2s] is he also known for writing notes for the people he captured his serial
[3122.2s] killer move green ink instead of leaving a joker playing card at the
[3128.2s] scene he writes a neat little note yeah the note continues need to bring
[3134.4s] hell wasp honey to Latavus's lair sincerely not Latavus your friend
[3144.9s] flip PS definitely not lot of us still not lot of us okay so now I don't I
[3156.3s] frankly don't know what to do since flip was going to show us where this this
[3160.0s] honey was and now we need it to go get flip I'm feeling a little out of my
[3168.9s] depth here does anybody know how to locate honey in a forest I've got an
[3174.7s] even bigger question yes do wasps make honey well it's actually interesting
[3184.9s] most but hell wasps in particular what they make is not so much of a honey
[3192.8s] substance but more of a this this strange honeycomb substance of which
[3197.7s] they build their infernal hives which sort of actually look very similar to
[3202.9s] termite mounts if you are viewing them from from that perspective from an
[3208.1s] ornithological oh wait that's not the right word I look at glim and I
[3213.0s] stop listening first technically not true honey but I mean hey when you're
[3220.1s] from all over the plains it maybe we could just go and yell buzz buzz buzz
[3225.9s] buzz is there anything that how wasps like to eat one of those oh look at
[3233.9s] me and all my flesh mm-hmm I mean that would certainly work if you were
[3239.0s] anywhere near them where they could hear you I just walk over to where
[3244.2s] professor dr. Smith is standing and I said can you just just like a step to
[3248.8s] the left oh yes well I think maybe there's more of the note on the
[3254.0s] ground because there's another piece of paper on the floor that you were
[3256.4s] just standing on oh my oh my goodness oh what's on this mooch you
[3263.5s] look at it and it appears to be a map honey here exactly perfect extremely
[3271.7s] convenient thank you young man me and my big big feet how many times have I
[3277.8s] heard that save it for next episode Celeste are you regretting inviting me
[3287.7s] just I mean big feet episode 69 like that's a gigantic feet everyone tells
[3295.9s] me especially women I don't know why
[3317.9s] you
[3337.9s] the song long road ahead is by Kavin McLeod of incompetent dot film music
[3342.7s] dot io all other music and sound effects can be found at epidemic sound
[3346.5s] or boom library dot com a huge thank you to our supporting producers Gabriel
[3350.8s] Lynch mark heartless Stevie cat water flame Jacob Madden Christian Brown
[3354.9s] Jessica Babyok derelict Devin Michaels Aaron Stevens Luke I guess and Ray
[3359.3s] Sir back to find out more about how you can support Dumbgeons and Dragons
[3362.8s] visit us at Patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast where you can have
[3366.6s] exclusive access to 50 plus hours of bonus audio content great in-game NPCs
[3372.2s] and items as well as play games with the cast Patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast
[3377.8s] have a great week and we'll talk soon welcome to Dumbgeons and Dragons we play
[3385.5s] games it wasn't because I was mouthing a lot it was I saw you out of the
[3391.9s] corner of my eyes I don't know what Dumbgeons and Dragons is a dumb
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