[0.0s] previously on Dumbgeons and Dragons.
[2.7s] Orcus has a lot to thank you both for. The Decimators have truly, truly done Orcus a great service.
[10.5s] What are you doing here, though?
[12.3s] Well, destroying a Lich, obviously.
[14.3s] Yeah, no, knock knock. Who's there?
[17.4s] Daddy loves me more!
[19.0s] It's so weird you call him... Daddy.
[21.5s] Well...
[22.5s] Did... did...
[24.0s] Did Orcus bang your mom?
[27.0s] Hasn't Orcus banged all of our moms?
[30.0s] I mean...
[32.0s] Oh, damn, you got me there.
[35.0s] You brought the plaything?
[37.0s] I brought the plaything, because guess who Daddy loves?
[43.0s] I take the wand of Orcus, and I kind of like, as I bust it out, I give it like a little spin and whatnot,
[49.0s] and I just point it right into Shangalar's chest over time, just causing him to disintegrate from that point outwards.
[56.0s] Well, thanks, V, that means a lot to me. I'm sorry you had to kill your brother.
[61.0s] Or your spiritual brother, or your Orcus brother, you know what I mean.
[66.0s] He'll be back in some 1d10 days or something, and I could probably do it all over again if I really wanted to.
[73.0s] Yeah, I guess I stroll over and pick up that amulet out of that orb.
[77.0s] Does it inspire me with wonder, Russ?
[79.0s] It inspires you with wonder.
[81.0s] Well, this looks like it's the beginning of the end for old Bort and me.
[86.0s] Welcome to Dumbgeons and Dragons. I'm your Dungeon Master Russ Morn. With me today is Tom Laird.
[92.0s] Hey, that's me. Third time's the charm. I'm playing Flint Firebeard.
[96.0s] Secrets, Tom. Secrets. And Carla Maxted.
[100.0s] It's me. I love secrets. Take all of the flubs out, Russ. Make us sound like geniuses.
[105.0s] And I play Yen Vol Nuri.
[107.0s] And Amy More.
[109.0s] There are no secrets with me. I am an open book. And I play Thea Amastasia.
[113.0s] No secrets over here. I didn't take my book away from Amy three times to avoid the possibility.
[120.0s] We don't know what's going to happen this episode, obviously. We never know what's going to happen, except for Russ.
[125.0s] Even if I tell you, sometimes you don't know.
[127.0s] Almost certainly.
[128.0s] I said off the air that even if you told us everything that was going to happen 10 minutes before we played,
[134.0s] we'd all be like surprised when it was happening.
[137.0s] Remember that there's trains in this world?
[140.0s] Impossible to remember. But Russ left the room,
[143.0s] covered his book, decided that wasn't enough, took his book with him.
[147.0s] And now I'm a bit nervous about what's going to actually happen in this episode that it's so top secret.
[152.0s] He didn't trust his beloved wife not to like sneak a peek.
[155.0s] And that wasn't even that wasn't even all he did.
[158.0s] First, he put his book down. Then he put a book on top of his book.
[161.0s] Then he took his books off and put them on his chair, which is just literally right beside me.
[165.0s] I'm not quite sure what the thinking was.
[166.0s] And then before he left, he just turned around, picked up the books and then left.
[172.0s] I was like, well, that was a big that was a little bit of a song and dance.
[175.0s] What's in the book, Russ?
[176.0s] I don't know. What's in the book, Russ?
[178.0s] What's in the box?
[179.0s] I came back with a big glass of wine, though, so it makes it all better.
[182.0s] It's true.
[183.0s] We have a Patreon community that we're very proud of.
[186.0s] And we love all the people over there and we would love you to be a part of it.
[190.0s] Patreon.com slash Dumb Dragon Cast.
[191.0s] When you are a patron, you get an episode dedicated to you like today's patron.
[195.0s] Rev from The Crit Show.
[198.0s] Rev, we know that guy.
[199.0s] Thanks, Rev from The Crit Show.
[201.0s] Margaret, thanks.
[203.0s] Frequenter of being, yeah, Margaret on the podcast.
[207.0s] Just, you know, side hobby, Margaret.
[211.0s] I don't know if it's too inside baseball, Russ, and you feel free to edit this out.
[216.0s] But the artwork that Chrissy is doing of Margaret is a top notch.
[221.0s] It's so great.
[222.0s] I don't know if it will have been posted by this point, but if not, it will be shortly after.
[226.0s] It'll be coming and it's so like she looks tough but sweet.
[231.0s] Like, it's so great.
[232.0s] Yeah, it's perfect.
[233.0s] I sent it to Rev and he loved it.
[235.0s] Like, over the moon, excited about it.
[237.0s] And patrons get early access at seeing all of our new designs and character artwork, too.
[243.0s] So come join us, Patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast.
[246.0s] And now, fuck it, let's play.
[254.0s] We find ourselves back in Calumport.
[260.0s] The three of you overseeing the wreckage of the city.
[269.0s] You guys want to get a drink or something?
[273.0s] I just, I cannot believe this is my city.
[277.0s] It is, this is the city of glory, Calumport.
[281.0s] It is, it is like it is destroyed and.
[285.0s] What, what can we do to, to help?
[291.0s] What needs to be done first to rebuild?
[294.0s] And so what do we see, Russ?
[296.0s] It's like right after we just got back after the adventure of the floating pyramid.
[301.0s] Right.
[302.0s] That's what I'm calling it.
[303.0s] Yeah, the adventure of the floating pyramid.
[308.0s] What you see is you have made your way back from the pyramid.
[314.0s] It's taken a couple days because as we said, the pyramid replaced itself on top of the mountain.
[324.0s] On your way back, cities appeared empty in comparison.
[333.0s] You arrive back in Calumport and you see standing still and motionless in the streets are the hordes of undead.
[345.0s] The sand has been blown up from the desert over the walls and appears to be burying them.
[358.0s] You don't see or hear anyone.
[362.0s] There are no soldiers moving about.
[366.0s] It doesn't appear that there are people trying to rebuild or clean up.
[376.0s] Did we on our way back from the pyramid ever meet up with the, the genocide?
[383.0s] You did not see them, no.
[386.0s] It just stood us up.
[388.0s] Sand.
[391.0s] I don't know, where do you, where do you begin to clean up a mess like this?
[395.0s] Get rid of the undead first?
[397.0s] What do you do with them?
[398.0s] Throw them in the ocean?
[399.0s] And is it that we are not, sorry, is that we are like not seeing any people or they're just don't seem to be actively trying to fix anything.
[410.0s] But we are seeing them.
[412.0s] You are not seeing anyone other than these motionless undead.
[419.0s] Where do you think an entire city would flee?
[425.0s] I think we should go to visit one of my friends, right?
[431.0s] I mean, she wouldn't just be like, shit, city's destroyed.
[434.0s] She's from here.
[435.0s] She would go try and see if like any of her people are still here or are alive.
[442.0s] Would you try and go home?
[443.0s] Would you try and go see a friend?
[445.0s] Would you, where would you go first?
[447.0s] Should we go to Mannix's family and tell him that they're not here?
[453.0s] Mannix was a solitary creature.
[455.0s] He had a daughter.
[456.0s] No.
[457.0s] Had being the operative word.
[459.0s] As far as Mannix goes.
[461.0s] Yeah.
[462.0s] We've got to just east out on him.
[464.0s] Let's clear that up.
[465.0s] Okay.
[468.0s] After Shangalar was defeated, you waded through the rubble of undead and could not find Mannix.
[481.0s] You found a torn up and tattered bag that you believe belonged to him.
[490.0s] In fact, once you opened it and looked through some of the contents,
[494.0s] could confirm that it had some of his journals and belongings inside of it.
[500.0s] So MIA presumed KIA.
[505.0s] Yeah.
[506.0s] Okay.
[507.0s] Okay.
[508.0s] There's no one on the street.
[509.0s] Let's go see my friend Drzul Na'axam and see what they know or if they are alive or where all the people are.
[519.0s] I mean, it sounds like as good a plan as any.
[522.0s] Let's lead on there, Anbel.
[525.0s] I guess we're kind of on the outskirts of town and have just kind of gotten into town and seen that there is nothing there.
[532.0s] So I probably walking pretty briskly because it's incredibly creepy and weird to be in what is this like great thriving metropolitan city
[544.0s] and instead seeing no people and only frozen undead.
[549.0s] Bit unsettling.
[550.0s] So I think we'll take sort of some more back routes.
[554.0s] Like we're kind of going down alleys and this is the city where I grew up and I like to know everything about every place I am.
[562.0s] So we are not taking like Main Street and then turning on to, you know, Nurikshus Street.
[568.0s] We're going down through alleys, past the house where my second grade loot teacher lived,
[574.0s] passed around everything until we get to what appears to be a very small, non-descript sort of bungalow,
[587.0s] you know, a sand bungalow in sort of a neighborhood of similar looking places.
[594.0s] So it's it's not a big place, but everything aside from undead and sand
[600.0s] looked like it was probably like a fairly nice, just like normal, non-descript neighborhood.
[606.0s] Now, is loot class like a staple of the curriculum or is that like an elective?
[611.0s] That was an extracurricular.
[614.0s] You arrive at Drzul's home and you go up to the door and it is wide open,
[622.0s] like pushed open and held open with a bank of sand that extends into the home.
[630.0s] From what you can see from the front step, it looks like the place has been like turned over.
[638.0s] There's damage inside. There's books strewn all over the floor.
[643.0s] Much of the furniture is damaged. That's what you see.
[646.0s] So I sort of raise my hand to knock and then realize that's unnecessary since the door is wide open.
[653.0s] And I start to walk in and sort of automatically reach down to start to pull my shoes off because Drzul's is a shoes off house.
[662.0s] But again, stop and look around and realize maybe today's not a normal day.
[667.0s] Maybe I don't need to follow these normal rules that I would.
[671.0s] And I enter. I do knock just to like if someone's there, let them know.
[676.0s] And I just go in and say, Drzul, are you here? Are you hurt? Are you here?
[684.0s] You wait for a moment for a response.
[687.0s] Aside from the blowing wind banging some shutters against the side of the house,
[692.0s] you don't hear any sound of movement or response to your call.
[696.0s] I think I'll go in and sort of look around like I've been there before and see if I don't know,
[703.0s] they're hiding under a bed or under in a closet or something seems unlikely, but certainly worth a shot.
[711.0s] I'd like to see something like anything that seems sort of normal right now would probably be nice.
[717.0s] You look through the home like the books you see are not books of importance.
[723.0s] They're story books, city history.
[728.0s] You don't see any of Drzul's spell books anywhere.
[732.0s] You go to their casting chamber and all of their components,
[739.0s] or at least the better portion of their components and spell books have been looks like they've been taken.
[746.0s] As you look through the home, there are a couple closed doors that you are able to open,
[753.0s] and inside there are, it looks like there's a thick layer of dust along a lot of the shelves,
[762.0s] and sand has made its way in through some of the broken and open windows,
[768.0s] kind of pushed up and through some of the doors.
[772.0s] This is so strange.
[777.0s] I expected maybe we would come back and there would be undead or destruction when we left.
[784.0s] It was very bad here, but I did not expect no one, nothing.
[792.0s] Well, we escaped through the tunnels.
[796.0s] Do you think that perhaps the guard would have rounded people up
[801.0s] and brought them down to the tunnels for safety?
[805.0s] Well, I mean, this is a great suggestion. We should look there.
[809.0s] It just seems like Kalimport is a city beside the sand,
[816.0s] but it is not a city that is overtaken by sand.
[819.0s] It is strange that so much would have entered the city already.
[824.0s] Just in the two days since we defeated Shangalar and returned.
[832.0s] Ah! There's... Oh, that hurts.
[838.0s] Wait, are you okay, Flint?
[841.0s] Are you okay?
[844.0s] Oof, I gotta... Is there a chair or something? I gotta sit down. There's a pain in my chest.
[851.0s] Well, can I grab a chair and give it to him?
[855.0s] Grab a chair and help Flint?
[858.0s] Can't see a roll for panicked look on her face?
[861.0s] You grab a chair and set it before Flint, and Thea and Yenbul, you see...
[869.0s] You look at Flint, and while Flint has...
[875.0s] You know that he has dragon scale beginning to show.
[880.0s] From what you can see is it is taking over his body.
[886.0s] Like, fast. From the last time you looked at him to now, like it's moved up onto his face, moving down his arms.
[894.0s] I don't want to be insensitive, Yenbul, and this is terrible for what's happened to your city.
[901.0s] I don't know if we have time to solve this mystery.
[906.0s] Yes, you must... You have your amulet. What is the next step?
[915.0s] Flint, what needs to happen now to save you?
[919.0s] We have to... I'm having trouble remembering... Arcane Brotherhood? Thea, is that right?
[931.0s] We need to get back to Waterdeep.
[934.0s] How do you plan to do this? It's very far.
[939.0s] Well, we were portaled here, and then they were supposed to send airships after us. Is that right?
[949.0s] I feel like that's right, because they were like, you could take airships there.
[953.0s] And we were like, well, no, why don't we portal there, and then you send the airships because they're going to take a few days.
[957.0s] I believe what they said is we can portal you down there, but you would have to arrange either by ship or by portal to get back once you got there and made contact.
[970.0s] Yeah, via the airships they were sending for us several days.
[973.0s] That's what I thought.
[975.0s] Airships were all destroyed in the army, in the battle.
[978.0s] Sons of bitches.
[979.0s] Yeah, dragons took all those babies out.
[981.0s] Right, I do remember that. I remember riding on one.
[985.0s] Okay, um, all right. Just occurred to me, no one's coming for us, and there's nobody here.
[992.0s] Yes, well, my friend Drusul is a wizard with perhaps just the portal magic you need.
[999.0s] That would be great.
[1000.0s] So we find Drusul, we can get Flinda home and stop the spreading, and perhaps at the same time discover where everyone has gone.
[1013.0s] Well, let's check the tunnels, I guess.
[1017.0s] Flint, are you okay to travel? Do you?
[1019.0s] All of you hear a door slam at the back of this building.
[1024.0s] Drusul?
[1026.0s] See, it bolts towards the sound.
[1028.0s] Go towards the sound, yeah.
[1029.0s] There's a back kitchen area with a door that exits down onto one of the back alleyways.
[1035.0s] You hear footsteps running quickly down wooden stairs.
[1039.0s] You look out the window or the door, and you catch sight of a person in a green hooded cloak duck underneath the stairs and into the shadow behind the building.
[1053.0s] I pursue.
[1054.0s] Wait, please wait.
[1055.0s] I am going to come as well.
[1057.0s] I'll start making my way towards that back door.
[1061.0s] Flint, the pain is subsiding for the moment, and you look down at your arms and you now see what brought the panicked face on Thea and Yembol, is that your skin is being consumed by the dragon scale.
[1075.0s] Thea, you rush out first, followed by Yembol.
[1078.0s] You follow the direction you saw the figure go.
[1081.0s] You see some footsteps, and they go into a shadowed building a few blocks over.
[1088.0s] There's not much light inside.
[1090.0s] You can't see beyond where the, you see like the footprints terminate in the sand that's created there, but you don't see much beyond that as Yembol kind of catches up.
[1100.0s] Well, I want to go through because I have dark vision.
[1103.0s] Yeah, I know the area, and it's possible this is my friend, and even if it's not, it is a living person from my city.
[1111.0s] So WTF.
[1113.0s] Get back here.
[1115.0s] Thea, you quickly pursue inside.
[1117.0s] Like both of you do, Flint, you're taking a while to get back going, but you're following the footsteps that are left.
[1125.0s] You follow them in and down a flight of stairs that go down into the tunnels, and you get down to the base there, and you see the figure down at the end of a long corridor.
[1138.0s] And they're looking back, like almost like they're waiting for you, or at least to see if you're coming.
[1146.0s] And they pause for a moment as the two of you rush around the corner.
[1151.0s] Wait, please wait!
[1154.0s] Yembol, you come around the corner, and it looks like this person, this figure, is about to turn as Thea's panting and getting out of breath.
[1164.0s] And they see you, and they stop, and you catch like a glint of their eyes.
[1172.0s] What? We thought you were dead.
[1177.0s] Oh, it is so nice to see a person. I'll be honest, we thought we were dead sometimes too.
[1185.0s] I have to, I have a question. How long has this city...
[1192.0s] Who is this?
[1193.0s] These are my friends, Thea and Flint. Yes, yes, the Thea and Flint. They are my friends.
[1200.0s] Okay.
[1201.0s] The Decimators of Dragons. No, it doesn't matter.
[1204.0s] How long has the city been like this for?
[1210.0s] It's been... I stopped keeping track after some time.
[1217.0s] Some time being...
[1219.0s] Time becomes irrelevant.
[1221.0s] We just defeated Shangalar two days ago.
[1224.0s] Two days? How did the sand overtake the city? Why are the undead still in the streets? Where is everyone?
[1230.0s] Come with me. We're not safe here.
[1236.0s] You follow this person, who you now recognize the voice as Drazul Gimble.
[1242.0s] Flint, you come around the corner as he's beckoning your friends.
[1248.0s] Is everything all good? Is this the guy we were looking for?
[1252.0s] Yeah, but it seems like... I feel like we've been gone for a lot longer than we think we have been.
[1264.0s] Well, I mean, that would make a certain amount of sense when, well, when you see what I've got going on.
[1270.0s] Yeah, you seem to have been fast forwarded a little bit.
[1274.0s] You follow Drazul, and he leads you down these corridors, down deeper.
[1279.0s] If you recall from when Mannix was leading you down the corridors, you passed by some that went deeper into the land.
[1285.0s] Oh, we were told not to go down to the party town?
[1288.0s] Yeah.
[1289.0s] Are we going down to party town?
[1291.0s] He takes you down below this level of tunnels.
[1296.0s] There's not the same music or cacophonous laughter or sound coming up from the tunnels.
[1303.0s] It's dark and cold, and it doesn't sound like there are many people down there at all.
[1312.0s] He leads you down, lights a torch as you get down further.
[1317.0s] And you see this chamber ahead of you that opens up, and it's wide, and the ceilings are unusually high.
[1330.0s] You're not quite sure how long you've been traveling down these stairs.
[1334.0s] It doesn't seem like it makes sense how wide these chambers are compared to how many steps you've walked down.
[1340.0s] But it is completely an open tunnel system.
[1344.0s] He leads you down into a carved out chamber that he closes a door behind you as he enters, lights a few candles.
[1355.0s] It is Yenbul. You immediately recognize Drisul's spell books on a shelf.
[1361.0s] He moves his hands around the door, and you see an arcane sigil illuminate on the door.
[1372.0s] We will be safe here.
[1375.0s] Why weren't we safe up there?
[1377.0s] There are many who wish to take advantage of any opportunity.
[1383.0s] And new blood is new opportunity.
[1387.0s] What happened?
[1388.0s] The city was attacked by undead.
[1392.0s] It was swarmed.
[1394.0s] Those of us that could grabbed what we could and fled to the tunnels, barred them as best we can.
[1403.0s] The guard were quickly overrun.
[1406.0s] The royal palaces were decimated.
[1410.0s] And then one day it just stopped. Everything stopped.
[1417.0s] What you see up there is what remains.
[1422.0s] If you go to move any of them, they come back to life.
[1428.0s] So we couldn't move any of them.
[1433.0s] We're forced down here, and a few of us went up for as many supplies as we can, as safely as we can.
[1443.0s] Time, I don't know exactly how long it's been since we've been down here.
[1451.0s] I mean, we haven't seen nearly as many sunsets or sunrises.
[1457.0s] Every day rushes together.
[1460.0s] It's been at least years.
[1465.0s] Years.
[1469.0s] So we were in that pyramid for years?
[1475.0s] If that's where you say you came from, I don't know where you have been.
[1481.0s] I can only tell you my story.
[1483.0s] We went. We went to stop Shangalar destroying the city.
[1487.0s] We went in the pyramid and fought and won.
[1493.0s] And it was my sort of look at my friends like just a few days.
[1502.0s] Then we travel back two days and now...
[1510.0s] I thought we could help rebuild. Instead it is all destroyed.
[1517.0s] Worse than destroyed. Dangerous.
[1520.0s] Nothing that we could throw at it was a match for his forces.
[1528.0s] The Genisars showed up. Even they were not a match. They were overrun almost instantly.
[1536.0s] Oh good, that's not going to be on my conscience.
[1539.0s] Right?
[1542.0s] Glad we had nothing to do with that decision.
[1545.0s] They were just in the woods defending the defenseless for generations until I sent them here to help.
[1556.0s] That's not really true. We didn't ask them to go to the city.
[1558.0s] We asked them to come help us at the pyramid. They decided to go to the city.
[1562.0s] So let's not take their agency and heroics away from them.
[1568.0s] Whatever helps you sleep at night, Carla.
[1571.0s] None of this is helping me sleep at night. My beloved city is destroyed. Everyone's dead.
[1580.0s] Listen, I'm really sorry about all this.
[1584.0s] Though, have you tried chopping off their heads in the streets?
[1589.0s] You know, just like a five-on-one situation?
[1595.0s] At first, yes. You tire. Did you see how many are out there? There are thousands.
[1604.0s] Yeah.
[1606.0s] It's like walking through a landmine. If you sneeze wrong or bump the wrong way or get blown by the winds coming through,
[1614.0s] you could trigger three or four of them, which then trigger four or five more.
[1619.0s] How many people are down here with you?
[1622.0s] Not many anymore. Many tried to get out. Many took ships to go elsewhere.
[1630.0s] Some of us tried to come up with ways to fix the city or at least restore it to something that could be rebuilt.
[1640.0s] There's a few hundred we keep to ourselves now. Trust is long gone.
[1653.0s] Why stay?
[1657.0s] Where else am I going to go?
[1660.0s] Well, my friend Yen Bull here has suggested that you may have the ability to leave anywhere you like.
[1671.0s] Yes, can you not open a portal? I love Callamport more than anything, but I fear Callamport is gone.
[1682.0s] This is not Callamport. This is a nightmare city full of undead.
[1688.0s] Drazul at that finally lowers their hood. You look upon them, Yen Bull, and they look old.
[1697.0s] Like they weren't exactly young to begin with. They would probably place them late 40s, mid 50s tops.
[1705.0s] But now they look worn down and weathered.
[1711.0s] He looks to you. I think I have enough to get you somewhere else. I just hadn't had it in me to leave.
[1725.0s] You know more than anyone, Yen Bull. This is home.
[1731.0s] I appreciate the love you both have for your city, and she grabs Flint's arm and says,
[1739.0s] my home is here, and we're running out of time.
[1745.0s] Let me look around, see what I have. He steps back and begins to look through his components and his books, giving you a moment.
[1756.0s] Sorry to get all mushy on you there.
[1759.0s] A little worried about you.
[1762.0s] Fair. Having all sorts of trouble.
[1765.0s] Yen Bull, are you coming with us? If we can go. I mean, that hasn't been decided yet, but you're more than welcome to come with us.
[1776.0s] I do not know what to do. This is my city and my people, and they are trapped here.
[1782.0s] But I am only one person.
[1788.0s] Potentially the youngest person now.
[1791.0s] Almost certainly. And Drusul was very strong and very powerful, and he is so drained.
[1799.0s] I wish there was a way to destroy the undead so they could at least leave these tunnels or find a way to get them somewhere safe.
[1810.0s] I would love to travel with the Decimators of Dragons and go to these other new, exciting lands I have not been to, but how do I just leave?
[1822.0s] Maybe when we get to Waterdeep, we can get some of our friends to maybe send a zombie hit squad or something, a team of clerics, maybe get rid of all these undead for them?
[1840.0s] It's too bad we couldn't just set them all on fire or something.
[1845.0s] I mean, I kind of thought when we took care of the Lich that they would just disappear, but yeah, I guess that wasn't meant to be.
[1853.0s] Or at least die dead.
[1856.0s] Yes, yes.
[1858.0s] Not just pause and suspended animation until they get nudged.
[1863.0s] I'm glad we had two days to enjoy sinking. We saved everything until we came here to find out it was not so much the case.
[1872.0s] Yes, we were not able to ride that high for very long.
[1875.0s] No.
[1879.0s] J'zul steps back over and I have the spell that can get you. I believe I even have an anchor to Waterdeep.
[1888.0s] I'm missing a component though.
[1894.0s] An ink is required.
[1898.0s] I know of a place down here where we might be able to get it.
[1904.0s] I don't know how willing they will be to part with it though.
[1909.0s] Usually comes at a high cost.
[1911.0s] I got money, honey.
[1913.0s] Well, like I said, new blood, new opportunity, right?
[1916.0s] That's okay. I could always kill him for it.
[1918.0s] Kidding!
[1919.0s] She looks at Yenbul.
[1921.0s] Hmm.
[1923.0s] Well, let's go see Noodle then.
[1932.0s] Welcome to the middle. We're here to talk about some things.
[1936.0s] And stuff.
[1938.0s] And stuff. Mostly stuff.
[1939.0s] And maybe our feelings.
[1940.0s] Oh, alright.
[1941.0s] I don't know. Maybe.
[1943.0s] I've got feelings.
[1945.0s] Do you?
[1946.0s] Share them, Russ.
[1947.0s] I mean, the joke around the podcast is that you're a robot without feelings.
[1950.0s] So I'm curious to hear what they are. Please share.
[1952.0s] Well, I have good feelings about our patrons and how they gave us some sick cop out.
[1958.0s] Right.
[1959.0s] I love it.
[1960.0s] That was so good.
[1962.0s] Don't be a jerk.
[1963.0s] Our patrons are amazing.
[1964.0s] We can't contradict you.
[1965.0s] I know we know.
[1966.0s] Our patrons are amazing.
[1967.0s] Exactly.
[1968.0s] Which is why we can't contradict you.
[1969.0s] And it's such a trick because you still have not revealed feelings.
[1971.0s] You just said something that was true.
[1973.0s] A very smart workaround.
[1975.0s] Yeah. No feelings over here.
[1977.0s] But you're right.
[1978.0s] Our patrons, amazing 10 out of 10.
[1980.0s] I would specifically like to call out a couple who gave us names in this episode.
[1985.0s] Oh.
[1986.0s] Drazul Naksin was gifted.
[1990.0s] Is not our patron.
[1991.0s] Is not our patron.
[1992.0s] But was a name gifted to us by Mark Heartless, one of our patrons.
[1997.0s] Thank you, Mark.
[1998.0s] Thanks, Mark.
[1999.0s] It's a fun one to say.
[2000.0s] And Noodle, who was just mentioned right before we got into this.
[2003.0s] We'll hear more about them very soon.
[2006.0s] Our patron was gifted to us by ALex Garrity.
[2009.0s] Thanks, ALex.
[2010.0s] Thanks, ALex.
[2011.0s] You can come join us at Patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast.
[2014.0s] And that's the $15 in world tier where you can give us names and you can stock the shelves at Zed Mart.
[2020.0s] If you're a patron at that tier, go do that right now.
[2023.0s] Because we're going to go hit that store up very, very soon.
[2026.0s] I can feel it in my bones.
[2027.0s] Stock those shelves.
[2028.0s] Stock them.
[2029.0s] And if you're not a patron, come join us.
[2031.0s] Because we've got some great things going on right now that you're going to want to go check out.
[2035.0s] Offers and stuff.
[2036.0s] They're so special.
[2037.0s] New exclusive merch.
[2038.0s] Yeah.
[2039.0s] Made bonus episodes.
[2040.0s] All the stuff people have been asking us.
[2042.0s] Yeah.
[2043.0s] Things that people said they wanted.
[2044.0s] Well, you ask, we provide.
[2046.0s] We're here to bring you what you want.
[2048.0s] So sign up at Patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast.
[2050.0s] If you do it by December 9th, 2020, you get in on some of that exclusive merch and could help us get towards those bonus episodes.
[2059.0s] If you sign up for a year, you get a month free, too.
[2062.0s] We keep forgetting to mention that, but that's so many deals.
[2064.0s] So many deals.
[2065.0s] We're all about deals here at Dumb Dragons.
[2068.0s] Yep.
[2069.0s] But now let's get you back and see what Noodle's all about.
[2071.0s] I bet you Noodle's got some deals.
[2075.0s] I'm just going to let that linger for a minute.
[2078.0s] That was the right approach.
[2080.0s] Yep.
[2081.0s] Have a good night, everybody.
[2082.0s] Goodbye.
[2083.0s] Bye.
[2084.0s] Bye.
[2088.0s] I will take this person seriously.
[2091.0s] The chance to herself over and over again.
[2094.0s] I want to look inside my pouch because that's where I had put Donnie.
[2098.0s] You look down and into your satchel and he stirs.
[2103.0s] I give his tummy a scratch.
[2106.0s] You follow Drazul who drops the sigil on his door.
[2110.0s] He leads you down some corridors and you begin to hear the sound of music.
[2115.0s] Soft.
[2116.0s] The closer you get, you find you're coming up to what looks like a worn down shop front,
[2122.0s] store front.
[2123.0s] Drazul is holding a torch that illuminates the sign.
[2127.0s] Previously had something scrawled into it, but now just over top in what looks like
[2132.0s] a deep red ink, maybe, says Noodle's shop.
[2138.0s] And inside Drazul calls out Noodle.
[2143.0s] Got some friends here and we need to see if you've got something.
[2148.0s] If you wouldn't mind.
[2150.0s] You hear a deep laughter come from deep within another room and out floats an old
[2159.0s] graying beholder.
[2163.0s] It's got hair coming out of pretty much everywhere.
[2167.0s] Not in like a fur fashion, but like old man hairs.
[2173.0s] Like wispy grays?
[2174.0s] Wispy grays.
[2175.0s] Okay.
[2176.0s] Like all over the place.
[2177.0s] I have a really good visual of this beholder.
[2178.0s] Yeah, me too and it is unsettling.
[2180.0s] A beholder is pretty gross anyway.
[2183.0s] But with hair?
[2184.0s] Now it's a hairy beholder.
[2186.0s] Gross.
[2187.0s] I look deep into this beholder's eye.
[2190.0s] All of the stalks turn towards you as you're looking in his eye.
[2195.0s] Do I know you?
[2197.0s] His entire body turns.
[2200.0s] No.
[2202.0s] Are you sure?
[2203.0s] How long have you had the name Noodle?
[2205.0s] Since I was created.
[2207.0s] Do you know who created you?
[2211.0s] He squints towards you.
[2213.0s] What do you want?
[2215.0s] Some rare ink, please.
[2217.0s] Drazul steps forward.
[2219.0s] Yeah.
[2220.0s] We need to create a teleportation spell and hands him the lists.
[2226.0s] Or just shows it to him rather.
[2229.0s] He looks at it and says, yeah, I might have it.
[2233.0s] It's going to run a pretty high tab though if you're trying to get out of town there.
[2237.0s] Drazul says, no, I'm not getting out of town.
[2241.0s] It's just for my friends here.
[2243.0s] What do you got for me?
[2246.0s] Well, do you want gold or what is your economy based on here in the tunnels?
[2255.0s] Well, it's generally what you got.
[2258.0s] I mean, if you got gold, that's great.
[2259.0s] If you got limbs, that's fine too.
[2261.0s] We could take that.
[2262.0s] I'm sorry.
[2263.0s] Did you say limbs?
[2264.0s] Yeah.
[2265.0s] Look, things have gotten a little, you know, the economy.
[2268.0s] What is money?
[2270.0s] What is money now that there's not many people down here?
[2272.0s] Food.
[2273.0s] Food is money.
[2274.0s] Ever since the noodle incident, really, anything goes.
[2279.0s] Cool.
[2281.0s] Okay.
[2282.0s] Well, on my person, I bring out a giant diamond.
[2292.0s] You feel it like pull in your hand?
[2298.0s] Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no.
[2300.0s] Well, I'd like to inspect the goods before I know exactly what we're working with here.
[2306.0s] Well, you have to be very careful with it because you might fuck it up.
[2313.0s] This is a very special teleportation diamond.
[2317.0s] Oh, if you got a teleportation diamond, what do you need ink for?
[2320.0s] It's not quite as far as I want to go.
[2324.0s] And look how pretty it is and how big.
[2327.0s] Very, very pretty and very big.
[2330.0s] Just let me look at it.
[2331.0s] I bring it closer, but I keep it well within my grasp.
[2335.0s] Looks nice.
[2337.0s] You need some ink?
[2338.0s] Mm-hmm.
[2339.0s] All right, give me a sec.
[2340.0s] Let me see what I got here.
[2341.0s] Purple, if you've got it.
[2342.0s] Stinking newbies bringing me in.
[2347.0s] Drizzle looks to you as he goes back and whispers, it was a lot more fun before, before all of this.
[2355.0s] I bet that could probably be said about a lot of you.
[2358.0s] Yeah, that's true.
[2359.0s] I mean, he went from selling like he was the joke shop owner up above to this, bartering for limbs.
[2367.0s] Oh.
[2369.0s] And are the limbs to eat or?
[2373.0s] Eat, trade.
[2374.0s] Let's trade.
[2376.0s] I do not understand.
[2377.0s] Trade for what?
[2378.0s] People lose arm, they need a new one?
[2380.0s] This is the kind of magic you can do now?
[2382.0s] Well, yeah, I mean, here and there.
[2384.0s] I mean, mostly it's food or components or sustenance.
[2391.0s] Trigger for, you know, throw it over there when we're trying to get somewhere, let some undead go for it.
[2400.0s] You all need to leave this place.
[2404.0s] We were just in the forest outside the city.
[2407.0s] It is not this.
[2410.0s] It is not undead and sand.
[2414.0s] It is as it was.
[2416.0s] No city, but.
[2417.0s] You could rebuild in the forest.
[2419.0s] Yeah.
[2420.0s] Trust me, when I say people live in the forest, I point to my ears.
[2425.0s] The forest has its dangers as well.
[2428.0s] It's the danger you're willing to accept, I guess.
[2431.0s] I know, but there's also like food in a forest.
[2435.0s] Yes, and the sun.
[2437.0s] And you're going to run out down here.
[2439.0s] You guys are all going to go mad down here.
[2442.0s] Yeah.
[2446.0s] That was unsettling.
[2447.0s] Noodle comes back.
[2448.0s] I got your ink.
[2449.0s] Here you go.
[2451.0s] He places it on the table.
[2452.0s] It floats down and rests on the table.
[2456.0s] Leave your diamond.
[2458.0s] I'm no noob.
[2459.0s] I put my diamond down.
[2460.0s] I keep my hand on it.
[2462.0s] I grasp the ink well.
[2464.0s] Do I feel it?
[2465.0s] It is corporeal.
[2466.0s] Yeah, it's corporeal.
[2467.0s] OK.
[2468.0s] You feel it?
[2469.0s] I like that you think you're going to get swindled.
[2471.0s] I do think that immediately any transactions happening in D&D, I'm like, this person's
[2475.0s] about to fuck me over now before I fuck them first.
[2480.0s] Very aggressive.
[2481.0s] I don't know why I have this distrust in me.
[2483.0s] I do not think this way in real life.
[2485.0s] Well, there's been multiple instances where we've had things not be as they appear
[2491.0s] thanks to our lovely dungeon masters.
[2493.0s] Sometimes we trust the wrong people, creatures, which is children.
[2498.0s] There's no children in this scene.
[2500.0s] I have my hand on the ink, and as I grasp the ink, I let go of the diamond.
[2507.0s] And I say, if you want to use it.
[2510.0s] Well, sorry, that's assuming you don't know how to use it.
[2512.0s] Would you like an explanation of how to use it?
[2514.0s] And I pass the ink well to Drzul.
[2517.0s] I'll figure it out.
[2518.0s] All right, but you only get one chance.
[2520.0s] Fair enough.
[2521.0s] Best of luck to you.
[2522.0s] Hey, what's your shop called?
[2524.0s] Like noodles, oodles of magic?
[2528.0s] You've been.
[2529.0s] No, but great name in.
[2532.0s] Thanks.
[2533.0s] Hey, don't lose your spark, man.
[2534.0s] I'll do what I can.
[2535.0s] Better hurry along.
[2537.0s] Why?
[2538.0s] What's going to happen to that ink?
[2539.0s] Nothing.
[2540.0s] Okay.
[2541.0s] Be safe, Drzul.
[2543.0s] Drzul begins to walk out of the shop, leading you out.
[2546.0s] I guess.
[2547.0s] That was a weird transaction.
[2550.0s] Yep.
[2551.0s] It's all unsettling down here.
[2553.0s] Very much is.
[2554.0s] There's just a cackle of laughter coming from the shop mixed in with the music as
[2560.0s] you begin to walk back down.
[2563.0s] Drzul turns and says, we should probably go quickly.
[2566.0s] Okay.
[2567.0s] Yes.
[2568.0s] Okay.
[2569.0s] Yes.
[2570.0s] He leads you back down the corridors and back to his home.
[2573.0s] And you hear high pitched laughter coming from down the halls.
[2578.0s] He opens the door and closes it and puts up the sigil.
[2584.0s] And as it activates, you hear a loud thud and an explosion out on the other side of
[2591.0s] the door.
[2592.0s] Was that Noodle?
[2593.0s] No, probably his thugs.
[2595.0s] This only holds for a few more hits though, so we should probably get you going.
[2600.0s] Yes.
[2601.0s] What about, uh, you come with us?
[2606.0s] You go to the city, you learn how to defeat undead, you come back, you save everyone.
[2612.0s] That sounds nice.
[2614.0s] Another explosion goes.
[2616.0s] Um, I'll get started here.
[2620.0s] He goes over to his spell book.
[2624.0s] You can see through like the cracks in the door, there's small figures on the
[2628.0s] other side moving back and forth, pacing in front of the door and there's like
[2632.0s] mumbled chatter.
[2634.0s] You can't quite make out what they're saying because of the sigil, but it
[2638.0s] sounds like they're arguing.
[2639.0s] And then it sounds like there's hands like hitting together.
[2642.0s] There's a little rock paper scissors happening on the other side.
[2649.0s] Another explosion goes after a few minutes.
[2652.0s] The sigil, does it just stop things from coming in or would it stop
[2656.0s] something from going out?
[2658.0s] It prevents movement from either side.
[2661.0s] Well, that's less than helpful.
[2663.0s] Never mind.
[2664.0s] Okay.
[2665.0s] He goes back to prepping the room.
[2668.0s] Drazul turns to you and says, okay, I think, I think we're ready.
[2673.0s] If you just cluster together there.
[2675.0s] Yen Bol, are you coming?
[2678.0s] Yes, I, I, I can't fight everything here.
[2683.0s] I must get stronger or get allies.
[2687.0s] Don't know where this is going to bring you up in Waterdeep, but, um,
[2692.0s] best of luck.
[2693.0s] I hope it's not in between a wall.
[2696.0s] What?
[2697.0s] He begins moving his hands in the air.
[2701.0s] Lenergy begins to glow on this, on the sigil.
[2705.0s] He's traced and written out in the chalk and ink on the ground.
[2711.0s] Says, I'll see you.
[2713.0s] The light around you shoots up and you, the room begins to fade as you hear
[2719.0s] another explosion from the door.
[2723.0s] It flickers in and out of your vision.
[2727.0s] The room that you were in and the street in Waterdeep.
[2732.0s] You're in an alleyway, flicks back and forth and you see the door break open
[2738.0s] as three thugs begin to rush into the room and grab at Drazul.
[2748.0s] And then you're in an alleyway in Waterdeep.
[2751.0s] You look around, you see people walking down on the main road.
[2756.0s] Flint, you feel like a super sharp pang in your head.
[2763.0s] We gotta, we gotta hustle here, peeps.
[2768.0s] You definitely look like you're in hustling form.
[2771.0s] And I look around for a cart or a carriage or something to flag down
[2776.0s] to get us quickly to the people I need to see.
[2780.0s] You're bracing Flint as you walk down towards the main road
[2783.0s] and as you step out into the main road, you look up
[2789.0s] and immediately what catches your eye are dark black banners hanging from the streets.
[2799.0s] With the symbol of orcas along all of them.
[2808.0s] You look at the people and they're quickly rushing about from place to place.
[2813.0s] Some of them looking at the sun.
[2816.0s] A lot of doors are shutting up as you realize it's getting towards sundown.
[2829.0s] The song Nowhere Land is by Kavin McLeod of incompetech.filmmusic.io.
[2834.0s] All other music and sound effects can be found at epidemicsound.com or boomlibrary.com.
[2839.0s] A huge thank you to our supporting producers.
[2841.0s] Gabriel Lynch, Kat Waterflame, Devin Michaels, Jacob Madden, Christian Brown, Stevie, Jessica Babyok and Daryleth.
[2849.0s] To find out more about how you can support Dumbgeons and Dragons, visit us at Patreon.com slash dumbdragoncast.
[2855.0s] You can have exclusive access to 50 plus hours of bonus audio content, create in-game NPCs and items,
[2862.0s] as well as play games with the cast.
[2864.0s] Patreon.com slash dumbdragoncast.
[2867.0s] Have a great week and we'll talk soon.
[2870.0s] What's in the book?
[2871.0s] Tell us what's in the book.
[2881.0s] Wait, does Russ not even know what's in the book?
[2883.0s] I don't know if he can read his writing, guys.
[2884.0s] It's just a blank book.
[2887.0s] Did you just say sexy goblin?
[2890.0s] How do I just leave?
[2894.0s] Well, that's a pickle.
[2895.0s] No, I'm just kidding.
[2897.0s] Seems like a no-win situation.
[2900.0s] It's funny though, because when we win, Russ really makes it feel like not winning.
[2905.0s] Do you ever get that feeling?
[2907.0s] This is why I didn't want you to look at my book.
[2910.0s] A book full of terrible secrets.
[2911.0s] Yeah, no one wants to look at my book.
[2914.0s] Goes back to, I never interrupted him.
[2917.0s] Well, he stopped to speak with you.
[2918.0s] I was asking Russell.
[2922.0s] Russell doesn't know.
[2924.0s] Drazul knows.
[2928.0s] Look, that's how you get mmm-Judith, okay?
[2931.0s] Mmm-Judith.
[2932.0s] I just wanted to poison spray underneath it, but whatever, it's fine.
[2936.0s] Yeah, no.
[2937.0s] Fine.
[2938.0s] Dumbgeons & Dragons is a Dumb Dragons production.