previously on Dumbgeons and Dragons.
Hi, guys. My name is Dents. How you doing?
Not too bad, Dents. Why don't you pull up a stool?
I think I've heard this term before. It's called a troop.
Well, I mean, I don't know if we have the same skills.
You have to perform and entertain. I mean, really what we're doing,
we're heading to Tamanthir.
I like Tamanthir. I really do.
Dents pulls the sword out, and it actually kind of looks
more majestic with blood coming off of it.
Aw, man. Thank you so much for saving me with your beautiful sword.
I've got to protect my friends.
Well, we don't just want a troll attack, if that's what happens, and them to be asleep.
A lot of times trolls like to be the first one,
and they'll let people know that they're first by saying first.
So maybe that troll is talking to other trolls in the tree line.
You walk all the way over to the other side,
and as you pass over and step onto the rocky mountainous terrain,
you hear from underneath the bridge, first.
Damn it. I think it's one of those damn trolls
who always needs to say that they see something first.
Ooh, hey. Hey, guys. You guys look so great over there.
I'm going to come over now.
Dents, you walk across, bouncing suspension bridge,
step up onto the stone, fifth. Okay, bye.
You crash over a large hill and see the tip of a large pyramid
off in the distance alongside the massive methwood forest.
Welcome to Dumbgeons and Dragons.
I'm your Dungeon Master Russ More, and with me today is Tom Laird.
Hey, that's me. First out of the gate.
I play Moot, and he is a half-orc, wild magic sorcerer.
And Amy More.
I'll be out of the gate, but only if you have that plushy rabbit
that will be thrown quickly in front of me.
And I play Sullivan's Light.
And Carla Maxden.
That's me. I play Glim, a dragonborn pAlydin.
And joining us again this week from Discovery Debrief,
Incompreh... Oh, shit.
Nailed it.
Incomparable Podcast Network,
voiceover artist and elite dangerous commander Stubby Stan.
It's Cicero Holmes. Welcome back.
Thank you for joining us.
Thank you for having me.
I am also out of the gate, but that gate is spelled G-A-I-T,
so I'm walking very weirdly right now.
I like it.
Are we talking like bone like it?
Well, actually, we're talking about my character, Dense,
who is a bird creature that I can't pronounce, but Russ can.
Eric Okra.
There you go, who is very tall, but walks really short.
He scrunches down, not unlike someone else on this podcast.
And his gate, as a result of how he walks, is out of the gate.
I love it.
I'm feeling real attacks on my posture here.
Also, from now on, all I can think, because it sounded like you said Eric Okra.
Eric Okra.
Okay, now it sounds like there's some guy out there named Eric Okra.
Yes, Eric Okra.
Eric Okra.
He's got a bit of a slimy texture, but if you cook him down enough.
It's a muciligen.
Cook him down enough, yeah, exactly.
Put him in a stew.
You fry that?
Oh, yeah, you do.
I picture Eric Okra as like Eric Estrada's bastard son,
who's going to star in the sequel to Chip someday.
This is good.
Hey, after these episodes, we do our dumbest downtime, where we debrief,
and then patrons get to hear it.
So we would love for you to hear that by joining us at Patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast.
And when you are a patron, you get an episode dedicated to you,
like today's patron, Tim Weaver.
Thanks, Tim.
Thank you so much.
And now, fuck it, let's play.
Shit, yeah.
We're going to pick up right where we left off.
The foreview plus Rolf is crested over a hill,
and you see off in the distance this majestic pyramid
at the edge of the meth wood forest.
Guys, the pointiest building I've ever seen.
Guys, you don't even know.
It's not even just a building.
It's the whole town.
Whoa, what?
Like the whole thing's in there.
You'll see when we get closer, and there's like,
But they're going to like slide down and stuff.
How do they put a whole town in there?
Are there little like mouth holes?
Are these people really small?
Well, no, I think when we get closer,
it's just a perspective right now.
When we get closer, you'll see that it's actually very, very big.
I think.
I mean, it's possible we go through
some sort of shrink tunnel on our way there.
No one mentioned that.
So I don't think that's the case.
I think we just.
So it's like hollow on the inside.
Yeah.
And people live there, and there's like.
Like cave people.
No, no, no, just just normal people,
people like me, probably lots of people like me.
So it's an upside down Mount Ant Hill?
Well, I think it's a right way up Ant Hill, sort of, isn't it?
Oh, yes, yes, the Ant Hill is down below the hill part.
The hill part is just an open.
I see.
Are you telling me that people live underground underneath this
and this is just how they get out of the ground?
Oh, oh, so are they ants?
I don't think the people are like ants,
nor are they the size of ants.
But to be honest, it's my first time.
But if Glim had to choose, who would she kill first?
Who would she kill first?
And and why wouldn't it be Sullivan?
The closer you get, obviously,
the larger the pyramid becomes.
Thank you for explaining that.
Is it obvious, Russ?
Fair enough.
You know what?
I wrote this down and I was like,
I'm never going to need this.
Joke's on me.
I needed this exact paragraph that described how perspective works.
So we all gather around the godlike voice
sitting crisscross applesauce listening to this description.
Um, you don't quite realize, however, how large it is at a distance.
But the closer you get, you realize it stands 460 meters tall,
which is 1500 feet.
Imperial for the win.
That's right.
Take that.
You pass through bountiful farmer's fields and see rich estates.
Dragonborn tending their crops.
Look up as you pass.
Catch sight of you and give a small wave from the distance.
What is running through Glim's mind right now?
I think Glim is super excited for many reasons.
Like, number one, we're almost here where she can declare herself
and like get on with the business of saving the world whenever that happens
or however it presents itself.
But this is the next step in that journey.
But also, I think it's just exciting
because there's just lots of Dragonborn here, right?
And so she grew up kind of in an enclave of Dragonborn,
but that was like, you know, 50 or 100 people.
And this seems like a whole civilization of people that look like her,
which is pretty exciting.
Are you like walking alongside the cart and like alongside Rolf kind of?
As we're going through, are you inside the cart?
I imagine walking beside it.
For some reason, I feel like, well, not for some reason.
Certainly Glim likes to not sit.
She wants to be active.
And so right now, she's also very excited.
So probably, yeah, is walking beside the cart for sure.
Sullivan's like totally comes over and like puts his elbows
on the edge of the cart because he's inside.
He's definitely not walking.
He'd be like 400 feet back.
And he's got his head on his arms.
And then he's like, hey, Glim, I got a question for you.
So like, we never asked you this before,
but I feel like we know each other really well enough now
that we could probably like breach this topic.
So are you like Bahamut's baby?
Well, I kept it straight so long.
The mood is a little like smack to Sully's.
Well, no, it's like honestly, though, like, OK,
so you got two moms back at your home.
That much I know.
You talk about it a lot, which is great.
Those of us who wish we had parents wish we had two moms, too.
But they're not your real moms.
You were left there as a baby.
So will you find your moms here or are you Bahamut's baby?
I'm just trying to piece it all together.
Oh, I mean, so mom and mama, I mean, they,
yeah, they weren't my biological parents,
but they are my parents.
But I hadn't intended to seek out, you know,
my biological family.
I'm not sure that they're from here.
But I mean, in a way of speaking,
I'm not like Bahamut didn't have a baby and it was me.
But I am, you know, like a descendant of Bahamut.
OK.
Not in the way that, like, we're all children of Bahamut
because, you know, I mean, you've heard me preach before.
You know what I'm talking about.
We're all children of Bahamut.
We've heard it.
Well, I'm a child of Bahamut.
Mut is definitely.
Mut is, Dan's a child.
We're all children of Bahamut.
Dan's probably, yeah.
So not in that sort of intangible faith way,
but in like a real sort of more tangible maybe.
So he's like a great uncle or something
or like a great, great, great, great, great, great,
great, great, great, great, great, great,
probably like real great, like probably a few more greats.
Like grandpa?
Yeah, I think so.
I mean, I'm just referring to like the small bit
of information that I found out about who had left me
and who I was when I was left with my mom.
Well, yeah.
Well, because I was just thinking
because since we're here and everything
and you're all going to like, like, you know,
like, you know, accept Bahamut and choose a path
and save the world.
And the path.
Absolutely.
Then you might also want to find this out.
Like, I don't know how often you're going to be here.
It took us a real long time just saying.
Not that I'm saying we're not going to come back
if you do decide to like, you know, look this stuff up.
I just I don't know.
Moot, stop me from talking.
Yeah.
Look over there, Sully.
Sully for sure looks.
That's a little side.
I love watching Cicero's face through this whole thing.
There was this moment of like, what the fuck?
Are we walking into a child of God moment?
What is a little bit, but only on Carla's behalf.
That's good.
You carry on a ways and look back to the hulking structure
before you and you begin to see it more clearly.
It was a bit hazy before.
But Glim, being that you're paying the most attention
to what you're walking towards,
you see now like carved out of it,
there are giant holes carved or blown
out of the sides of this pyramid.
The stonework is crumbling and falling apart in pieces.
And from a distance, it looked pristine,
but the closer you get to it,
you see that there is damage to the pyramid structure
as you walk towards it.
You know, I guess in my mind,
I always pictured it as being totally pristine,
but it's kind of, it's a bit shabby.
Like a crap pile?
Well, I guess one way of putting it,
I was going to say comfortably worn in.
Well, it's probably pretty ancient.
So, you know, these things, they wear over time.
Or it's been under attack.
Oh, maybe that, yeah.
Oh, does it look like it's been under attack?
The damage goes kind of both ways.
It looks like maybe they were just worn to time.
Like much of the crumbling around like the points
or the edges look more time-worn.
However, the holes look like an equal amount of
like blown in and blown out of the pyramid.
And is it like covered?
Are they mole people in there?
Or is it all kind of windows?
I know they're not mole people.
No, she needs to know.
I'm just trying to picture what it,
because people live in there.
So there must be like, it is in each of the steps,
it is sort of like open to,
there's daylight in there, right?
Oh, that's, that actually is a good question.
So is it, is it an Egyptian pyramid?
Or is it a South American Aztec?
Yeah, more Mayan.
Or an Incan Mayan pyramid.
I picture it as more of an Egyptian pyramid.
So there are fewer steps as there were not really
any kind of delineation from one level of the pyramid
to the next level.
Exactly, yes.
And as far as any sort of window,
aside from the holes blown in,
it looks like it was at least built
as complete stone from top to bottom.
Well then, are ant slash mole people ideas?
We are the underminers.
Yes.
Well, I can see clearly now,
because the fog is gone.
But I can see a lot of debris is in the way.
I mean, gone are the sharp corners
that had this as a pyramid.
And I can see things have been blown,
blown, blown this way and that way.
So I've been holding on to that for a while.
I really just had to let it out.
But can you see the obstacles in your way?
Well, yeah, it's all this debris
that's on the ground from,
because it looks like if I had to make a guess,
there are probably pirates in there, right?
Because like with cannons,
just like blowing out the side.
And there was maybe like an airship
that had like pulled up alongside it.
I'm just extrapolating here.
Write this down, moot.
All it says is Sully's extrapolating?
This is what we call in the bard business,
as spitballing.
I mean, I should have become a bard,
but instead I have a terrible past.
Now it's not the time, it's Glimstone.
Sully doesn't reveal his dark past.
Not yet, it's not about me right now.
It's not about you.
You're continuing forward.
Up ahead, you see a pair of dragonborn
leading a horse-drawn cart
coming up the path towards you.
Last time we had a cart driving up towards us,
we accidentally blew it up.
So we should probably take a different route.
Let's hope it goes better this time.
Maybe don't let Sully leave.
Accidentally, little bit on purpose,
totally blew it up.
Okay, I'm going to approach them and say,
hello, are you citizens here?
Yes, yes, we are.
Are you?
Is everything okay?
Everything's wonderful.
It's my first time here.
Wonderful, welcome.
No, it's okay.
You have more questions than I do.
Please carry on.
There's just a lot of cutoff, half-sentences.
I'm purely for exposition.
Please continue asking me questions.
I told you to find out who the robot is.
Right.
You haven't selected which one in the role-playing game.
I asked them a question.
We've just arrived.
I'm looking for the Citadel.
The dragonborn before you,
who is a deep red-scaled dragonborn,
they have a brown vest
and black work pants
that are kind of a bit tattered and torn.
It looks behind them and says,
yep, that's right.
Oh, the whole thing.
The whole thing is what you call the Citadel.
Oh my goodness.
I mean, Citadel's a large term.
I mean, that's the city.
When you specifically say Citadel,
what is it you're referring to?
Well, say you had to go somewhere to swear an oath.
Okay.
Where would you go, Injurad the Marr?
Who are we othing to?
Oh, I mean Bahamad, of course.
Oh, of course, of course.
Well, inside the city,
there are countless religious outfits,
some Citadels, some churches.
But are they all Bahamaniacs?
I'm sorry?
Are they all Bah...
Did I say it wrong?
Bahamanians, Bahamations.
They're not all beholden to Bahamut specifically.
No, we accept several religions.
Cool, but not all of them?
I think the term is Bahamatics.
Bahamatics.
That sounds right.
Yeah, that just feels right in the mouth.
Of course.
Again, not all beholden to Bahamut,
but Bahamut has a Citadel within the city.
Yes, I'm sure you could go there.
And any other sites you'd recommend?
If you were just here for a few days,
what would you pop in on?
Beside your birth parents.
Oh, a lot to unpack there.
You see the Dragonborn you're speaking to kind of whisper,
and then the other Dragonborn shakes her head.
Okay, good.
Honey?
I don't know about the birth parents.
It depends what kind of scene you're in for.
Zumba for sure.
What's Zumba?
You don't have Zumba here?
No.
Ah, glad you got your work cut out for you here.
Okay, well, I'll definitely be putting a class together
before I go.
So I guess maybe just watch for flyers or something
in the next few days.
Well, what do you guys think?
What would you like to see?
Dens, are you into like a club scene
or something more low-key?
Maybe you follow a faith?
I'm always going on and on about mine
and never letting anybody else get a word in about theirs.
Well, I did go to Bard College,
so if there is a place where
bards go or where people go to listen to bards,
I can go there.
So more of the club scene then.
Yeah, we'd like to see some bards.
Bards are great.
Great.
Well, plus you got to like get out here, right?
It's what you're here for.
You're going to make a name for yourself.
Like you said, it's a gig economy.
You've got to be hustling all the time.
Got to get those silvers.
There you go.
Yeah, phosphate.
Excuse me, Dragonborns, do you guys have silvers?
I mean, I know you have coppers,
but I prefer the silvers.
Yes, yes, we have all sorts of different currency here.
You don't need to give it to him right now.
He's not robbing you.
No, I didn't think he was robbing me.
Oh, but maybe you could perform right now.
Get the ward out.
Oh, well, yeah.
Well, it could tell you.
It could tell you the story about the trolls.
Oh, we do love them.
Do you want to hear the story about the trolls?
Spoiler alert.
It involves fire, both their like and dislike of it.
You know, it's trolls or likes and dislikes.
But this true, for one troll, he had really high hair.
And then he sang this song that was the song of the summer.
It was really great.
How did it go?
In just a rough tune, off key a little bit.
Can't stop the feeling.
Yeah, there it is.
Oh, my goodness.
You know what?
DreamWorks, please don't sue us.
They reach into their satchel and they toss you a silver.
That's well worth a silver.
Well, especially you hear how high his voice got.
Man, that's awesome.
Surprising based on the low vocalizations off the top there.
Well, yes, I am a bird, so I have a multi-octave range.
He's like one of those mimics.
Oh, well, I am insulted.
I am not a mimic.
No, no, you're not a mimic.
You can mimic like a mockery.
Oh, but does that make me a mimic?
I don't.
If I can.
Oh, no.
Have I been a mimic this entire time?
Doesn't a mimic know they're a mimic, though?
Do you have any other questions regarding the city?
Having this existential crisis in front of these strangers.
No, I guess I'll look for a citadel.
We need to get the name of the best place to see the best bards.
Oh, yes.
Yeah, sorry.
Just remember, I mean, you'll hear it when you come in,
but just remember out of the way.
Just remember that.
It'll come clear and you'll just know.
I don't think you're a mimic.
But now I'm not so sure.
And I think we walk on.
I can't believe these poor, poor people behind us.
Thank you so much, it was so nice to meet you.
Lovely.
You approach the city and there are several of these blown out holes
in the pyramid lower down,
but the path leads up to a wide ramp that you can determine
was the one and only entrance to the pyramid at one point.
On the way up, though, Sullivan's light is totally like,
gosh, my days as a fire marshal,
one entrance, one exit,
it seems like really just like bad news BS.
You enter into what looks like a marketplace within this pyramid.
There are large stone arches going down this entire level
that you can make of it.
You hear music playing somewhere in the distance.
It's got a heavy bassy beat to it with a mix of pop and rock
that just, it's just perfect.
Does it seem like it's a bit out of the way?
The song or the distance?
The distance.
I mean, the distance is where you make it.
No, I mean, it sounds like it's coming from everywhere
and nowhere at the same time, but.
Is the song that's playing is Dragonborn in the USA?
It has a, there's a, you can, you can,
it's just almost like you can place it.
I came in like a Dragonborn.
Dragonborn this way?
You know what?
It's a medley mashup is what it is.
As you listen longer, it's all of these pop hits.
It's like a cabaret.
That's right.
All over top of each other.
Dragonborn cabaret.
There we go.
I would pay to see that.
Yep.
Amy would pay money, real human money, not silvers and golds.
The marketplace is busy.
There are many, I mean, from what you can tell so far,
solely Dragonborn throughout this entire floor,
conducting business and shopping and moving about.
What do you do?
Where do you go?
What do you want to see?
I think I'm like delighted because everything is my size.
You know, like all of the like places selling clothing or armor
or all the stuff is like just, just,
I just feel like I'm just normal height here,
which isn't normally the case necessarily.
I'm pretty tall normally.
Stand out quite a bit.
Meanwhile, Sullivan's slight is feeling quite diminished.
Dense is just kind of following along,
just kind of looking at all of the things
and he's seen a lot of marketplaces.
He's reminded of the co-op that he worked at
to get the discount food.
And he realizes that this place is so much grander
than that marketplace that he worked at.
And he's secretly jealous that he wasn't working here as a co-op
because he would have had so many more choices.
So he may actually be looking around
to see if there is someone who seems like they're a manager
or someone of some renown and rank
to see if there are opportunities to.
Maybe some help wanted signs on different stalls.
Are you looking?
It is the gig economy.
Always got to be looking.
Are you looking at any specific type of merchant
or just in general?
So yeah, so he's looking not necessarily
for a type of merchant.
He is looking more in general to see what is happening.
He is looking over at the produce people first,
the people that have the vegetables and what have you.
But he's looking around to see
who seems to be crowded and overworked.
Well, that's a very astute type of thing for Dense to do.
Dense knows when work needs to be done.
Hey man, you look like someone who gets it done.
Well, I have to or else they kick me out.
Yeah, you're looking at one of these.
There are a couple of different grocers
or produce marketplaces and you look over
and you see one where there's a single,
that was not the one I was going to pick, but okay.
Just looking at the name generator
and picking the hardest one on it.
There's so many vowels, you guys.
There's so many U's in this name.
I'm sorry, I pulled that page up.
You don't see anybody.
No, it's fine.
Everyone's full up.
No vacancies for employment.
No, you look over at one of these produce
and you do see one where it looks busy.
It looks like there are people lined up,
but you only see one person working behind
the quote unquote till area.
Okay, so what he does is he immediately
walks over, walks behind the counter
and he goes, next up.
And sorry, I said person.
I meant Dragonborn.
That was kind of clear.
But yeah, you step aside.
I fucking love your style.
I'm just, I work here now.
I've done this before, guys.
The female Dragonborn comes over
and she's bronze scaled.
She's wearing an apron over her blouse
and long pants.
And her name tag says.
And her name tag says, Mjaldik Nurud.
Last name?
Doesn't have a last name.
Her last name would be on her name tag, Amy.
Come on.
Right, right.
It wouldn't be that long.
Her name tag's like.
It's not a name tag.
It's a name shirt.
Also has her social insurance number and address.
Docs, and that's why nobody works there
because everybody gets doxed.
She comes over to you and says, excuse me.
What is it you're doing?
I'm working.
You should be too.
There is a line.
Make a persuasion check.
Come for the deal, stay for the sass.
There's a line.
You know what this was about you, Glim,
but it's no longer about you.
I only care about this.
Dirty 20.
Okay.
Oh, no one told me that somebody else
was coming today.
I thought it was just supposed to be me.
Well, I'm sorry I'm late,
but clearly I'm here just in time.
Let's get to work and then we can talk
about everything else later.
Oh, okay.
Did you need your name tag?
I don't know if they sent one down.
It's okay.
We can work on that later.
What do you need?
Who's next?
Both of you get to work as the three
of you look in astonishment at your friend
who's just ducked in to start working.
Did he just get a fucking job?
I guess so.
Did he just waltz up and get a job?
Wow.
I mean, I know he kept talking
about the gig economy,
but I didn't think it was like this.
We hadn't seen it in action.
We'd just been on the road.
It's amazing.
Okay, so next time I'm just saying,
we need to just go up and be like,
we're part of this caravan.
Yeah, I think you're right.
We're protecting you now.
I think if Dance has taught us anything,
it's that confidence is key.
Definitely.
Damn.
Okay.
Hey, Dance, we'll catch up with you later?
Sure, sure.
As soon as I clock out,
I'll meet up with you guys.
Yeah, okay.
We'll find you.
Maybe I'll catch you on my break.
I'm supposed to get a two-fifteen minute break.
Two-fifteens and a thirty.
Don't you let them do you dirty like that.
Oh, okay.
Yeah, thank you.
I forgot about that.
Okay.
Welcome to our sideshow of like,
workers' rights.
Workers' rights.
Sorry, dance to laws.
Labor laws and the importance of a union.
Let's talk about it.
Cicero, I didn't tell you
that I have a bad habit
of starting side spin-off stories.
Dance may be one of those.
So we're going to need you back.
You know, just free up your calendar.
We'll check back in.
Dance will be assistant manager.
We'll check back in again.
He will be manager.
Now he's opened his own competitor's store
right beside this one.
Puts him out of business.
It gets real cutthroat.
And now I'm the CEO.
That's right.
Ah, this is a success story.
I'm loving it.
Oh, it's amazing.
Okay, the other three,
I don't care what you're doing.
We go back to, no, I'm kidding.
What do you do?
Does anything matter anymore?
I'm not entirely sure.
I've broken the game.
This is all I care about now.
Welcome to the dance cast.
So I guess we should probably
find you that citadel, right?
We're gonna,
I thought he was gonna perform as a bard,
but he's completely abandoned that idea.
He's now working at this stall over here.
Totally fine.
I like his commitment.
The steady paycheck is probably more appealing
than the gig economy.
Well, you know what?
You need a side hustle, right?
Wait, so barding could maybe be the side hustle now.
Well, I think like he really bards hard at night,
but then like make sure he goes to his nine to five.
Look, sister is nodding.
You need something to pay the bills,
but then you really pursue your passion on your off time.
Speaking of passion,
Flynn, do you get like a special tinkle
anywhere in your body to tell us
if we're getting close to this Bahamut temple?
Well, I mean, some of these Dragonborn
are pretty handsome, so I guess.
Glim, who taught you to speak like that?
Well, you, Sully.
Guys, I feel a little bit nervous now that we're here.
So maybe just let's casually walk around
the marketplace here, and I guess maybe let's see
if you see anyone who's like wearing robes
or seems like they might be a religious figure.
I don't know if I want to just start asking people.
All right, so you like want to,
you want us to walk around here looking inconspicuous.
All three of you stop, look around,
and realize the only halfling and only half-orc,
everyone else is Dragonborn.
I start to whistle.
I'm going to pull out my floppy sun hat
because I think that's going to help me
like blend into the crowd.
This isn't a problem.
Nobody's like, you get an occasional look.
Uh, all right, um, uh, on, on, on your 20.
Over there.
I see someone with a, yeah, and I, I point really obviously.
There's a guy wearing a robe over there.
And then he could be a religious figure.
You look over and you see a Dragonborn looks older,
uh, in a red velvet robe.
It's comfortable as fuck.
He looks cozy.
Hey, only the only a guy filled with the satisfaction
of Bahama could look that comfortable, right?
I mean, you're not wrong.
You're not wrong.
Okay, that's you're right.
That's a good place to start.
I should just, I should just ask.
I'm going to approach the be robed man.
I feel like we're like unnecessarily loudly supportive.
Like, yeah, you got this.
Don't you, don't you worry about it.
You can do this.
Glen is what you came here for.
You came all the way.
Uh, if you, yeah, I assume you're still on like
the marketplace level.
You hadn't gotten too far.
He's, uh, he's looking at many leather bound books.
Um, excuse me, sir.
He stops and turns to you.
Yes.
I'm, I'm so sorry to interrupt.
I, I just arrived here.
Welcome.
And I'm, thank you.
And I'm looking for a Citadel dedicated to Bahamut
so that I can swear my oath.
Wow.
And I noticed that you are wearing that amazing robe.
And I thought, A, you could maybe give me directions.
And if not, then B, you could tell me where you got
that very amazing robe.
Uh, well, uh, uh, lady runs a robesmith down the street.
A robbery.
You, you know.
I used to be a roboteer.
You should get a job there.
She's looking for people.
I think about it.
Podcast is over.
We're all just going to get jobs.
We all just got employed and then just kind of drifted apart.
Cause you know, you know how that happens.
You're working opposite shifts.
It's tough to get together.
Yeah.
A perfect level of need employment, want employment.
It's just always working.
Um, well, uh, so, sorry.
You said you were pledging your oath.
Did you say, did you say to whom?
Oh, Bahamut.
Oh, yes.
Um, well, uh, yes.
There is a Citadel of Bahamut on the second floor.
It's, um.
Next to the housewares department.
Well.
Thank you.
It's the beyond part of the bed bath and beyond?
Yes.
Yeah.
You know, it's often difficult to find.
It's, uh, they're not showy of their, of their Citadel.
I could, I could escort you if that would work for you.
Oh, I mean, that, that'd be, that'd be really nice.
I'm, I'm Glim, by the way.
Nice to meet you.
I'm, I'm Forak.
It's nice to meet you.
Thanks for your help.
Of course.
Well, it's your first time here.
I look forward to whatever it is your oath brings you.
It's not often you run into someone pledging an oath.
Oh, I mean, I thought that was the main thing that happened here.
No?
Oh, not, not specifically.
Not, well, more so since the, since the Civil War.
Wait, you tell me.
And the Civil War was between?
Well, it was, it was a few generations ago.
Not many, actually.
Two, two or three.
Do you, do you know?
Obviously you don't know of it.
You don't know when it, when it was.
How long have you, have you and your clan been gone?
Well, don't really know.
Abandoned as a baby.
Brought up by, in a, in a, in a new to me family, so.
So some time ago.
So some time ago, at least as long as I've been alive,
which is about 20 years.
Jarod Tamar here was a stronghold for Dragonborns
and still continues to be.
It, at a point, became distrustful of anyone
who was not Dragonborn and even those who were Dragonborn
and pledged their oath to Bahamut or Tiamat were
not seen as, um.
Tresswezzy?
Yeah.
Civil War broke out between those who sought
those religious figures and those who did not
and, well, the establishment collapsed in on itself
and the capital, well, it was under siege from inside and out.
Of people trying to choose what's right.
Oh.
Oh, should I be being more circumspect about the fact
that I'm here to swear an oath to Bahamut?
Because I thought that would just be like really great and cool.
No, there are few who still hold right that the gods have no place,
but it is not as widely received.
And you are welcome here as you are.
The dust has long settled and for the most part
the capital is peaceful.
Can't you hear the music?
Yes, it seems like a great medley.
Oh, imagine dragons.
So good, so good.
Sorry, this story tends to drag on.
But the Civil War of time passed.
I, you were obviously one of the exiled groups prior to this happening,
but I will, I will lead you.
I will escort you to your oath and hopefully you will find your answers there.
Who did you oath upon?
I have not, I have not pledged an oath.
Oh, so you're just, these are legit just comfy ropes.
Yeah, yes.
All right.
I'm very sorry that we kind of narrowed in on you like old guy in ropes.
Well, not many religious figures wear these sleek sexy red robes.
You know what?
They hug in a lot of special places.
Thank you for noticing.
I am waist level.
Yep, we cut back to dense.
I was just going to say he's got to be on a 15 by now, right?
Mia walks over, taps you on the shoulder, says okay, you've been great.
I don't know who sent you.
I don't know where you came from, but you're amazing.
Well, I came, I came from over there and then I came over here
and I went to work because work need to be done.
Yeah, but who sent you?
The people, my friends, my friends, they brought me.
They didn't send me.
I sent myself.
So like main office didn't send you?
I mean, there is a main office maybe, but I haven't been there yet.
Okay.
Maybe should I go there after this?
Well, actually, I was thinking maybe I'll go.
So I'm a bard in my off time.
So I'm hoping that I can get off of work early enough
so that I can go to perform at the out of the way.
The out of the way.
Oh, you're talking about the party club where all the kids hang out.
That's what I was told.
I was told that I could go and perform there.
Do you know anyone there?
Well, my son goes and hangs out there.
Well, maybe he can give me a spot on stage.
I, you know what?
Ask for Charney Turd.
Charney Turd.
Excuse me, what?
Tell me what?
Show me.
Charney Turd.
Why on earth?
That's my name I wrote down.
Did you stroke out midway?
No, it's right there.
Charney Turd.
That's a great name.
Well, thank you.
Thank you.
Yes, yeah, go.
Do you plan on continuing to work here?
Well, I mean, if you're busy, then yeah, I'll come back to work.
But, you know, if the day is over, I'll take my pay now.
I need to stop you for a second.
I fucking respect the fact that he walked in out of nowhere.
Was like, I work here.
And then it was like, yo, can I blow off early?
Every bit of that is absolutely perfect.
Oh my god, I'm crying.
Make a persuasion roll.
I think we're going to need a luck of the die to see what happens next.
That is fantastic.
I've known this person on so many levels.
15.
Oh, okay.
Well, I mean, if you intend to come back, she hands you a form.
You fill this out.
I don't know your schedule.
You seem aloof.
She puts down a copper and a silver and says,
This should cover clearing that mess.
Fill out the paperwork and then go to your gig and then come back.
And I'll have contacted the main office and see if they sent you.
But you think I've got a feet.
You said I'm a hoof?
No, I've got feet.
Yes, you do.
Right.
But so I'm not a hoof.
Okay.
Yeah, aloof, aloof.
A loaf?
I think that's what you mean, a loaf.
Yeah.
Not that either.
Sorry.
But I could use a loaf.
What would you like to be referred to as?
Oh, I'm dense.
Nice to meet you, dense Mia.
Fill out this paperwork, dense.
And we'll talk about future employment.
I think this will cover any incidentals between here and there though.
Oh, okay.
Yes, I can do this.
I'll bring the form back.
Okay, perfect.
So I'm going to go find shiny turd now.
Perfect.
Do a lot of people yell,
there's no time, and dense, alive?
I'm just wondering.
Yes.
Okay.
I love it.
Dense walks off with his paper and his copper and silver.
Yes.
Oh, wait a minute.
Before he goes, he'll say to Mia,
So my friends that brought me, they didn't send me, but they brought me.
Okay.
They went to one of them, Glim.
She was the dragonborn.
You saw her.
She went to go see Bahamut.
Like to actually see Bahamut or to go to the church of Bahamut?
He's doing an appearance.
No, I think she went to go see Bahamut and tell him how much she loved him.
You see her look to her feet.
And just think for a moment.
And then she yells, there's no time!
Go!
It's trying to piece it together.
Be like, look, your friends probably went upstairs.
Another level up.
There's a church up there.
Bahamut, I don't know if Bahamut's coming today.
I didn't get the memo.
Bring the paperwork back once you've talked to my son, shiny turd.
See if you can get a gig there.
If not, we can find something here for you.
Maybe we'll move you off of cash.
Okay, well, I mean, all of that stuff sounds great.
I'll look forward to it.
Okay.
Thank you.
See you later.
Thank you, Denz.
See you later, Mia.
Oh my god!
Which direction does Denz go?
Does Denz follow the music?
Denz is going to find Bahamut and his friends.
Okay, and he takes context clues well.
He goes upstairs rather than downstairs.
I don't know what else he could have done.
You tell us.
Can there please be someone in a Bahamut mascot suit
making an appearance at the Citadel that day?
Roll history, roll history for me,
and then that will help determine where you make it to.
Oh my god.
Oh boy, four.
Come back to Denz momentarily.
Denz is on his own adventure.
Forak leads Glim, Moot, and Sully.
You wouldn't have been able to bring Rolf up,
but there would have been a stable at some point along the way
that you would have been able to leave him.
But leads Glim, Moot, and Sully up to the second floor
and down a series of what seem like,
to your definition, alleyways within this structure.
And he brushes his hand along the wall
and some dust flakes off at an entrance.
And Glim, you immediately see it as the dust flakes away.
There is a carving of the symbol of Bahamut,
the white dragon's head in the stone.
This is the Citadel you speak of.
Thank you so much.
And we'll definitely check out that robe lady later,
right guys?
Oh yeah, 100%.
Again, you look amazing.
Thank you, thank you.
I hope you find what you're looking for in here.
Great, I think we're going to go to the Out of the Way later.
If you wanted to meet up, I'd be happy to buy you a meat or...
The Out of the Way?
Yeah, my friend's a bard and he's gonna...
Oh, oh, oh, the party club.
Yeah, if you want to come to the party club with us later.
Great, sure.
Do you have like separate party robes
or is it the same robe situation?
Gonna have to wait to find out there, good friend.
Okay.
Forek walks off.
The three of you are standing outside the Citadel.
I'm gonna take a deep breath and I'm gonna open the door.
Assuming it's like a church that you can just walk into,
not like someone's private residence
that I've just wandered into.
Again, all of that doesn't live here.
So I'm gonna open the door.
I feel like Moot and Sully kind of just like flank her,
like giving some respectful space,
but also like we're here for you,
trying to strike that bAlydince.
Sure.
Okay, you walk in, Glim, and you see this first.
It's a modest dwelling.
There are pews, they're old, worn wood, kind of too deep in this.
What looks like from the size
could be no bigger than a large storage closet.
There is a chair up at the front.
It's a handmade wooden chair.
There are a few candles lit along the back wall.
And there is a male dragonborn kind of dusting off some shelves.
He looks back to you as you walk in and continues dusting.
He says, sorry, no service right now.
Can I help you?
No service right now.
Can I help you with something?
Oh, I hope so.
My name's Glim.
Well, Nurikshah's a hackra, but everybody calls me Glim.
And I need to swear an oath to Bahamut so that I can save the world.
So do you think I could do that here or we've traveled a pretty long way?
As soon as you say your name, you notice him stop dusting.
And his body language from behind, even like there's like this deep breath in
and like sigh of what you could presume as relief.
And he turns around to you and you see his eyes are like glassy.
He says, you said Nurikshah's hackra.
Yeah, but everybody calls me Glim.
You can call me Glim.
Glim, it's a pleasure.
Pleasure to meet you.
Please, please come in.
And he dusts off one of the chairs before you and just please be seated.
Your friends as well.
Thanks.
These are my friends, Mood and Sully.
Oh yeah, but we're like barely here.
We're just here for support.
We're just, yeah.
Yeah, we'll just blend into the background.
Oh, don't say that.
They're part of my destiny to save the world.
So Mood, as you say, blend into the background.
You look around and like there is no background.
There's like four chairs, essentially.
You step as far away as you can, but it's still not that far.
You're still within like five to 10 feet tops.
Neat.
All right.
It was told that you would come, but we didn't know when or how or where.
What do you mean it was told I would come?
Me personally, or just like a mysterious, cool dragonborn
would arrive with two super cool friends?
He goes and he opens his book and turns and shows it to you.
On the date that it is, he turns to and says,
Neurixious Akra will pledge her oath.
Wow.
Did Bahama tell you that?
It's been in the book for ages.
Huh.
I mean, I'm glad to see that.
We really have traveled a very long way.
And I've been telling everybody I have a destiny to save the world.
And this seems like some good proof, right, guys?
Well, I mean, I was told before, but I mean, it's in a book.
I already believed you.
I picture Moot and Sully who said they're going to blend into the background,
like peeking up and around trying to look at the book.
We're for sure like three inches away.
Well, I mean, I have a million questions, but I guess I should just wear the oath first,
right?
And then maybe we'll stay here for a couple of days, guys,
and we can ask all these questions.
And I'm sorry, I haven't even asked your name yet.
No, no, of course.
My name is Akif.
It is my pleasure.
Glim.
It's so nice to meet you.
So I haven't actually really sworn a lot of oaths before.
So I have this and I pull out that piece of leather that like is that tooled piece
of leather that has Bahamut symbol on it.
That's my symbol.
And this is sort of how I like really talk with Bahamut is using this.
So should I use that or is there a special ritual?
It has been such a long time since anyone has been here to do what you intend to do.
He looks down at the book and says there's nothing in this book that says what comes
next.
OK, well, I guess I'll just do what feels right, right?
If it feels good, do it.
But even if you should.
Is there, I know you said there was like pews, but is there like an altar kind of area?
Where there would be an altar, there is a single chair facing back to the pews.
Oh, OK.
Akif goes and lays the book on a ledge behind the chair, lights a few more candles.
Your friends best join me.
Oh, yeah, for sure.
You have some privacy while you're doing this.
Maybe they should find dense, because I feel like even though he's been with us
for such a short time, he probably wants to be involved with this.
Also, a quick question from Amy, is she sitting like backwards on the chair
looking forwards at the book?
Because that's a visual I got.
The chair is facing the pews, but he put the book behind the chair.
She's like, well, she didn't sit in the chair yet.
Is she going to do a backwards style?
Are you going to do a backwards style?
So the chair he brushed off was one of the pews, right?
No, you said that where an altar would be, there's a chair.
And he said the book behind the chair, but the chair was looking out the pews.
If you were to sit backwards in the chair and read the book, yes.
You know what?
I hear Bahamut's a really cool guy.
Sorry.
Yeah, I guess we exit.
Ekif ushers.
He's a really cool guy.
Turns his hat backwards.
Ekif leads the two of you out, Moot and Sully, and looks back to you, Glim,
and says, I'm sorry, I can't be of more assistance.
I will be just outside if you need anything, though.
Okay, thank you.
He pulls the door closed.
It's the middle time now.
We're here and we're going to have some fun talking about stuff.
Like, I think we're Cheez Whiz today.
I don't understand the words you just said.
Yeah, I'm also studying silence.
No, I'm sorry.
I understood.
I think we're blank today.
Yeah, Cheez Whiz.
I heard all the words and I still don't understand.
Okay, so.
Because that goes in the middle of a sandwich.
Sandwich, yes.
I was going to say, please, not if you were poor enough growing up,
you just had Cheez Whiz sandwiches.
Cheez Whiz was like when we had like,
my mom got some money and we bought some Cheez Whiz,
that was like a treat.
I didn't get that kind of thing.
You have the name brand stuff, you betcha.
So I'm just feeling like where the Cheez Whiz is today.
Welcome to the middle.
Welcome to the cheese whizzy middle.
Thank you for being here with us.
We love having you here on this adventure that we are riding on.
We want to let you know that we have some great things going on
over on our website, which we don't normally talk about all that much.
DumbDragons.com.
Yeah, we have a whole website over there.
Yeah, which I'm, you'll find there's some coming soon things on there.
Don't worry about that, it's coming.
Just ignore that part.
Soon, so soon.
But one thing we want you to take a look at,
because people have been raving about it,
is our support us tab,
because we have T public and red bubble stores
where you can buy tapestries.
Yes, this people have tapestries that are being actually been raving about this.
Nobody has been raving about the support tab on our website,
but what he really meant was we have these shops where you can buy fun stuff.
So like T-shirts and hoodies, et cetera,
but like phone cases and tapestries.
So if you want masks as well, yeah,
like a big Flamikinskins tapestry to grace,
what I assume would be your very formal dining room.
You can do that.
Or bedroom, right above the bed.
I hope that's where it's going.
One of our patrons, we were on a call with them
and they were like, hey, Russ, I'm on your store.
And I noticed I can't buy this tapestry of a Flamikinskins.
And I was like, I probably didn't check it because I was like,
that's not a thing anybody ever wants to do.
Check it and I will buy it.
And I said, okay.
And they did.
And now we need pictures.
I was just going to say pictures of that would be wonderful.
We need pictures.
If you have any T-shirts, we'd love to see a picture of that.
Oh sure, yeah.
Send them to us.
You can send them to us on Twitter or Facebook
or join us in our Discord.
All the links are in the description always.
So we'd love to see all that.
But yeah, dumbdragons.com.
Take you right to our stores through that drop down
from the support us that everybody's raving about.
I don't know if I told you about that.
Just website organization I think is what I was trying to get at.
It's just everybody raves about how well our website is
organized and that they know about the website at all.
And that they know about the website at all.
But it's there.
And we'd love for you to check it out.
That's all I got.
Okay.
We're going to go let you get back to this episode now.
You're standing alone in this room.
There are a dozen candles lit around.
You look up and it is at first a stone ceiling.
You look back down into the candles and then you hear
the sound of birds chirping.
Same sound that you heard when you were
taken to the Church of Bahamut by your mama.
You look back up and you see a clear blue sky.
Canaries flying above.
Is the room as it was?
Just the sky is now the outdoors?
Yeah, the room itself hasn't changed.
It does appear that there's more light in the room
with the appearance of the ceiling changing.
Okay.
But nothing physical has changed about the room.
Then I will sit in the chair backwards.
Great suggestion.
And I'm going to sort of hold that piece of leather
in front of me, that tooled piece of leather.
And say, hey Bahamut, it's me, Glim.
I don't really know what I'm supposed to do,
but I do want to tell you that I love you
and I want to serve you and I'm totally prepared
to do whatever it takes to save the world.
So I swear this oath to you that I will give
everything I have, even my life, to serve you.
A moment goes by.
What are you looking at or are you looking at anything?
I think I'm sort of focusing, like holding that,
that like my holy symbol and sort of focusing my energy
into that because that's how I sort of do my day-to-day
chatting with Bahamut.
So that's how I feel close to him.
The symbol you hold in your hands begins to,
you feel a warmth coming from it.
You look up into it and there's a glow,
a white glow to it.
You look, you catch your eye on the book
that Ekif laid on the shelf in front of you.
You see that where the date was written
and there was a bit of a gap in the page,
you see the page begin to glow again
and writing begin to appear.
Okay, well I'm going to get up and read that.
You feel a breeze brush across your scales.
Your clothing begin to move with it
and you look down at the book
and you see coming into view almost as if being written before you
and it says,
protect your friends,
protect your people and save this realm.
The light on the book begins to fade.
The ink begins to dry.
You look up and you see the blue sky gone
but you still hear the chirping of the birds throughout the chamber.
The light begins to settle back into the candles
and then you feel a warmth rush through your symbol
and through your body.
You feel at ease.
As the room returns to normal,
Glim says,
Guys, I think I'm done.
You can come back in.
And I kind of walk over towards the door
and I'm going to open the door to let them back in.
I think we for sure fall into it
because I feel like maybe Moot and Sully
were definitely pressed up against that door
just like trying to listen.
Number one to make sure that Glim is okay
and number two though like if Bahamut was speaking,
we totally wanted to hear it.
There.
You go to exit
and Moot and Sully are waiting there for you.
Ekif is standing off a respectable distance
and Glim you look back in
and you see for a moment
like the blue light that you saw before
and you look up
and you see a long silvery dragon
cross above in the sky
before the sky begins to fade again.
Sully looks up to where Glim's gaze is going
and says,
What are you looking at?
Oh, yeah, never mind.
I probably didn't see anything
but I know I definitely saw something.
Sully wouldn't understand.
The three of you walk out
and Ekif bids you farewell
at least for the moment.
You head back out
down the hallway which you came
and you see Dents standing there
with a large silver dragonborn
who's got a big sign.
Looks like they were spinning it
and it says big sails this way.
This guy works for the rogue people, doesn't he?
Hey, guys, I found Bahamut.
How did I find him before you guys?
I worked and I still found him first.
Where did you guys go?
Oh, we were just over at the...
Yeah, this is Bahamut.
You found him.
Yeah, I did.
I asked people,
I asked them where Bahamut was
and they pointed this way
and here he is.
Amazing.
The kindness of strangers, am I right?
Yeah, so Dents looks at the guy with the sign
and he says,
my friend over there, the dragonborn,
I think she thinks you're kind of cute.
The dragonborn who was previously very confused
looks back at Glim and says,
really?
You know, a bunch of us are gonna
are all gonna head over to out of the way.
We're celebrating.
The party club?
Oh, the party club, yeah.
The party club.
My friend Dents, he's a bard
so he's gonna maybe perform
and I've had a pretty big day so far
so I think we have a lot to celebrate.
But, I mean, you could come if you want
when you get off,
when you're done doing whatever this...
Sure, yeah.
I'm spinning signs till six here.
Okay.
Is it just a sign that just says Bahamut
and there's an arrow on one end of it?
He's just spinning in all sorts of directions.
That's right.
Because if that's the case,
Glim does think he's pretty cute.
Okay, you're heading to the party club?
Yeah, we're heading to the party club.
Dents needs to find shiny turd.
Okay.
You head back down to the main floor
where you primarily heard the music
kind of faded when you went upstairs
but you walk around the main floor
and it takes you a while
but you follow it and find it.
It goes down a set of stairs
and there's a door
where you can hear music coming from behind it.
It looks like a steel door
with a slat in it.
Guys, I've seen things like this before.
There's going to be a password or something.
Okay.
Dents, you have more experience
so you probably know...
Dents knocks on the door.
There's a moment
and then the slider clunks open.
There's a set of dragonborn eyes from behind
and there's a beat
and then says...
What do you get when a dragon sneezes?
Or something.
That's the password.
That's what Sully said.
Get out of the way.
Just get out of the way.
Okay.
The slider goes back
and the door opens
and there's a ruckus club inside.
I like that we've just given
the secret password
to literally everyone
we've talked to though, right?
Terrible with secrets.
So we get in
and so now
Dents is now looking for
someone that works there.
You need to find the club manager, right?
Yeah, definitely.
You'd see two bartenders.
There's a couple servers walking around.
There's one male dragonborn
who looks like they're...
They're a little bit more off in the back.
Looks like they're kind of
working some books or something.
Dents sees this guy
and he goes over to that dragonborn
who is working the books or something
and says...
Do you know shiny turd?
Who sent you?
Mia did.
A ma sent you?
Yes.
I'm supposed to work tonight.
Who are you?
He looks down at his book.
I'm Dents.
Dents?
You're supposed to work tonight?
I'm Dents.
Tonight?
I'm the bard.
The bard?
I'm a bard.
Oh, we had a bard that canceled.
Are you the bard that canceled?
No.
How could I cancel
if I'm supposed to work tonight?
Well, maybe you're the fill-in.
What did you say?
Dents?
Dents.
Yeah, you're working tonight.
You're up in 15 minutes.
Oh, okay.
Let me get my material together.
Well, you better be ready.
There's a hot crowd here.
We don't want to get them get cold
before the big guy goes on.
Oh, okay.
Well, who's the big guy?
Maybe I can cater my material for that.
You know Puff?
Fuck off.
He's a magic dragon.
Exactly.
You know him.
Yes.
I've heard about him.
I get to open for Puff.
You get to open for Puff.
It's your big day, kid.
Oh, take that.
Take that.
Bad boy.
Shout out.
Oh, this is...
This is the big break that I was looking for.
Oh, all of my dreams are going to come true.
Maybe Glim was right.
This is my destiny.
I can change the world right here in this upside-down airfield.
This is amazing.
All right.
I'm going to go ahead and get ready.
So, you guys see Dents go off into the corner, which you didn't notice before.
Somehow he pulled out like a hood, and he's got this hood on his head, and he's just
like kind of bouncing around.
He's saying things like spaghetti, spaghetti.
It's just...
Yeah.
So, he's just...
He's really...
You know that he's been serious before, but he hasn't been serious.
But now, Dents is serious.
He's ready to go.
You ready?
It's time to get on.
Okay.
Hey, everybody.
Me, Shiny Turd, here again.
Getting you ready before Puffy comes on.
We got a new kid in town.
Open it up for Puffy.
Give him a warm welcome.
It's Dents.
We're like clapping, freaking out.
Dents comes in, and he flaps his wings, and he sits there, and he looks around,
and he goes, oh, wait a minute.
Are you guys ready to laugh?
Don't laugh too hard.
I don't want to get singed.
It's uproarious laughter, because dragon puns go over very well.
So...
So, you guys live in an upside-down anthill.
But what happens when you fart?
If someone farts and someone else laughs, does the whole room go up in flames?
I was just curious.
We fade out on Dents' performance.
Laughter uproarious throughout, and we check back in.
As Dents, you join back with your group.
That was great, I think.
What did you guys think?
Oh, that was...
I'm crying still.
It was so funny.
Oh, my god.
We hadn't had the chance to see you perform before.
You killed it up there.
Oh, it was really amazing.
Wow, wow.
Oh, well, thank you.
I think you really found Janeshia with these dragon puns.
I don't know, maybe.
Let me...
Oh, I'm going to go find Janeshia.
Oh, I'm going to go find Shiny Turd, because maybe he'll give me some money.
I bet he will.
He's going to want you.
He definitely will.
Oh, you are such a hit.
I think you're going to be a huge star.
The three of you see it before Dents does,
but Dents, you turn around and standing behind you is puff.
Hey!
No one has ever killed that good before me, ever!
Oh, well.
I want you to come on the road with me.
What do you think there, Dents?
Wait, is...
Are we going to perform not on the road?
Yeah, we're going to perform in the clubs
and then go on the road to get to the clubs.
Oh, wait a minute.
And we'll get paid too.
Sign this piece of paper.
Oh, I've got a lot of papers to sign.
Mia called ahead, said you got to get the paperwork first.
Oh, yes.
Yeah, I've got some paperwork.
So wait a minute, I can sign this paperwork and that paperwork
and then I'll get...
I'll have two jobs.
Yep.
Oh, I'm sorry.
Yep, if this one falls through.
Second guessing, quite a few things.
Oh, okay.
I probably should get
my manager to read through this and he hands it to Sully.
Sully takes it and takes a pair of glasses.
No one knows where he got them from out of his pocket.
Puts them on his face and just like peruses.
Licks his finger, flips it, makes a little like note
or like changes somewhere and like initials beside it.
It's like, yeah, no, it looks pretty good.
I made a couple of suggested changes there,
but I mean, all in all, it looks real solid.
I would definitely take this dance.
I would definitely take this.
Oh my gosh, this is amazing.
And he signs it and he hands the note back over to Puff.
We'll get started right away, but first I must do one thing.
And he turns back around and he kneels down
so that he's eye level with Sully.
And he says, Sully, you were my first friend
that I met three weeks ago.
And you became my manager, just like Glim prophesied.
You changed my life.
Allow me to change yours because sometimes you get in fights
and you need protection.
So please take this.
And he reaches back behind his back, unsheathes his sword
or pulls it out off of, unbuckles it from himself
and hands over sheath and all the frightful sword of reflection.
To Sully.
Sully grabs it and holds it in his arms.
You didn't have to do this.
I'm really touched.
I just, I don't, so like in emotions and stuff,
so like you take care of yourself and it's brilliant.
Guys, did you see he gave me a sword?
Yeah, that super cool shiny one.
I feel like I need a sword now.
Everyone else has swords.
I mean, there's everything in the marketplace.
We can swing by the robe place tomorrow.
We can probably get you a new sword.
I don't know.
I think they have everything here.
You take care of yourself, Dent and Sully chokes a little bit.
Well, let me just tell you, if you guys see us in town,
you will definitely have a seat right up in the front.
Wherever we go.
We wouldn't miss it.
That's awesome.
The crowd cheers as Puff takes the stage
and we fade out on the sweet tunes of Puff the magic dragon.
As the friends go their separate ways on this adventure.
Ah, fuck, I didn't have a way to end that.
That's how we end it, everybody.
The song Long Road Ahead is by Kavin McLeod of incompetech.filmmusic.io.
All other music and sound effects can be found at epidemicsound.com or boomlibrary.com.
A huge thank you to our supporting producers, Christian Brown,
Darylith, Devin Michaels, Gabriel Lynch, Jacob Madden, Jessica Babyok,
CatWaterflame, Mark Heartless, and Stevie.
To find out more about how you can support Dumbgeons and Dragons,
visit us at Patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast,
where you can have exclusive access to 50 plus hours of bonus audio content,
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Have a great week and we'll talk soon.
I mean, I have pamphlets, but those are about Bahamut.
Oh, I figure Sully would have taken his pile of flyers
and just thrown them off a rooftop and been like, done.
Yeah, I'm pretty sure I probably did that.
Did you scrapbook one into one of your notebooks?
Oh, because I think that's next level, right?
You take notes and I mean, it just makes sense that scrapbooking
is the next kind of evolution.
He's not there yet, but he's leaning in that direction, for sure.
I just need a bit of decoupage, man.
It's just fine.
Her name tag says Mia.
Oh, don't you fucking do that.
Very few use that word.
Meow-dick-nerd.
Hey, Bahamut?
It's me, Glim, Amy Stopp.
Hello, God?
Exactly.
Dumbgeons and Dragons is a Dumb Dragons production.