[0.0s] Previously on Dumbgeons and Dragons.
[2.4s] Yeah, I guess just get ready.
[4.6s] They grip their mace a little tighter and move towards the door.
[9.2s] The door opens, the sound comes back.
[11.4s] It's muffled for Yimbo and Thea.
[15.5s] And inside you open the door and step out onto a ledge.
[23.5s] The ledge goes around the perimeter of this square room.
[28.1s] But what catches your eye is the pit below you, filled with undead.
[38.1s] There are hulking orcs, skeletons, zombies, wights, banshees wailing in the distance.
[51.7s] And in the center of this room you see a pillar that comes up.
[57.0s] And on top of that pillar is a cage with a figure in the center of it.
[64.6s] Who's huddled, has her fingers in her ears.
[70.6s] And you see before you in this cage, Yimbo.
[86.9s] Welcome to Dumbgeons and Dragons.
[91.9s] I'm your Dungeon Master Russ More and with me today is Amy More.
[96.4s] He said my name because I looked all like, I'm ready.
[99.9s] And I am Amy More and I play Thea Amastasia.
[103.0s] Boom!
[103.8s] And Carla Maxted.
[106.2s] I am also here.
[107.3s] I am also pumped.
[109.1s] And I play Yen Bolnuri.
[110.6s] So pumped!
[111.4s] And Tom Laird.
[112.9s] Gonna bring that energy with me today, guys.
[115.9s] Ah, yeah, baby.
[117.7s] I play Flint Firebeard.
[119.3s] Also jazzed up and ready.
[121.8s] So jazzed.
[122.5s] So ready to go.
[124.1s] What we are always super jazzed about is our Patreon community and how awesome they are.
[130.1s] And we would love for you to go check it out and become a part of it.
[134.5s] Where do they have to go?
[135.6s] Patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast.
[138.6s] Whoa!
[139.3s] You go there.
[140.3s] You go there.
[142.3s] And also you go Amy.
[143.8s] I didn't even have to edit that one together.
[146.3s] I can't, but I'm multitasking the shit out of this right now.
[150.6s] I have questions.
[153.1s] Oh.
[153.6s] You have questions?
[154.4s] About Patreon?
[155.5s] About how awesome you are for knowing the web address?
[158.6s] Lots of things.
[159.5s] Yeah, like where did that come from?
[161.4s] I've got questions.
[162.9s] All right.
[163.3s] Well, hold on to the questions.
[165.9s] We'll get there.
[166.4s] Hey, if you've got questions, we've got answers and you can find them over on Patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast.
[171.2s] I don't know if you can.
[172.5s] We can ask them questions.
[173.6s] That gives us a little...
[174.4s] If they're math questions, don't you ask us.
[176.6s] We don't have the answers for you.
[177.9s] Gets you into our Discord, which allows you to ask us questions.
[181.8s] And you also get an episode dedicated to you when you are a patron like today's patron, Laura Watson.
[187.4s] Thanks, Laura.
[189.4s] Thanks, Laura.
[190.8s] You're amazing, Laura.
[191.8s] Thank you.
[193.4s] Now, with all that, after you check all that out, push pause.
[197.6s] Patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast.
[200.4s] Fuck it.
[201.0s] Let's play.
[211.5s] Flint, Thea, and Mannix.
[213.6s] Before you, you see a caged Yen Bull atop a column in the center of this massive chamber before you.
[224.2s] Her fingers in her ears, eyes down staring 50 feet below her.
[229.3s] To the source of the noise berating your ears, a massive horde filling this thousand-square-foot room.
[240.9s] The horde is shoulder to shoulder clawing at the column, trying to climb on top of each other to get up the walls.
[249.5s] You turn to see the shocked face of the Yen Bull you've been traveling through the tunnels with.
[259.2s] What do you do?
[260.0s] I need to know.
[262.6s] Carla, do you guys like talk on the sly about this?
[264.7s] Like, you know what's going on or is this also a surprise to you?
[267.6s] Amy, you don't even know what kind of surprises I know.
[270.6s] Oh, God.
[272.8s] Oh, it makes me feel so uncomfortable.
[275.0s] What do you do?
[278.9s] Thea looks back and forth between the Yen Bulls and is just like,
[284.7s] Oh, you got to you got to be fucking kidding me.
[287.7s] And she pulls out a dagger and she holds it to Yen Bull near her.
[293.5s] What dagger does she pull out, y'all?
[296.1s] I don't know. What dagger do you have?
[297.8s] You don't have a dagger.
[299.7s] You're right, I don't.
[303.8s] I looked at everybody's sheet beforehand.
[305.7s] I don't see a dagger on there.
[307.3s] It's true.
[309.1s] I've gotten a sharp draw.
[310.6s] No, that's just like really what Amy wanted to do.
[312.8s] But it's true, Thea does not have a dagger.
[315.1s] So she produces flame in her hand and she turns towards Yen Bull.
[319.2s] Explain yourself.
[320.8s] Well, I what can I say?
[322.6s] I have no explanation for this.
[324.4s] I don't know what is.
[327.6s] I am the real Yen Bull.
[329.1s] Yes, I have been with you this whole time.
[331.8s] I don't know. You seem very nonplus to see yourself caged over there.
[337.0s] I think you'd be a little more concerned.
[338.5s] Flint!
[340.6s] Flint's still just trying to parse kind of what exactly is happening here.
[346.8s] Before you, Yen Bull, what do you do?
[351.8s] I think I continue to protest my innocence and I don't know what is happening.
[358.2s] So I sort of been backing away from this flame.
[360.8s] As Yen Bull protests, you specifically, Thea, are focusing very intently on her.
[368.4s] And during one of these, it's not it's it's not me.
[372.6s] It's it's that's clearly a different Yen Bull.
[376.5s] A wave goes through this Yen Bull before you and you see a almost like a reflection
[384.3s] or image of Wallace come clear and then it fades back to Yen Bull.
[391.1s] Oh, you bathroom bitch.
[394.6s] I want to fucking fight him.
[397.2s] Tell me what you do then.
[398.1s] I want to I want to produce flame and I would like to burn his ass.
[402.8s] Okay.
[403.3s] Yeah.
[405.0s] Sorry if it's not really Wallace.
[407.1s] Thea is just it's too much.
[409.9s] Okay, do it then.
[414.0s] You got to do it.
[414.9s] Commit to it.
[415.6s] I'm doing it right now.
[419.1s] Yeah, I just rolled a three y'all.
[421.1s] Oh God.
[422.2s] So that's 12.
[423.1s] I feel like the range is you're touching him.
[426.9s] I know I know when you're when you're like upset.
[432.9s] You kind of revert to your like most basic like like this is one of your thing.
[437.1s] I can do exactly.
[438.2s] It's like oh, I'm so mad and I 18 do I burn that bathroom bitch?
[443.3s] Yeah, your produce flame ignites and catches the clothes of this Yen Bull.
[448.9s] And then Flint you're paying attention.
[452.0s] Now the flame is blasted into this room and he's probably
[456.7s] like, oh, she's taking this into her own hand quickly.
[462.4s] Yenbul before you turns back into Wallace who stumbles back padding themselves out.
[469.9s] Coughs as the smoke clears and looks at you with disdain.
[476.9s] You are just like the others.
[481.1s] The others I've set my sights of destruction on.
[484.6s] You've come here to take what's yours regardless of the cost.
[491.2s] Well, not today.
[493.3s] Just like the royalty in Calum port who turned their back on my family and I.
[501.2s] You will suffer.
[504.9s] Make a dexterity saving throw everybody in the room.
[509.9s] You know, fuck yourself.
[512.9s] Even even me, especially you Carla.
[517.1s] You're not in the room Carla.
[518.5s] You're out in the middle of nowhere.
[521.5s] I'm in a cage on top of a pillar surrounded by a thousand square feet of undead.
[527.1s] My days are you not good.
[528.8s] How dare you be in there?
[530.8s] How dare you let yourself be captured?
[534.2s] So that's a 22.
[536.4s] Okay, 21 for me and hence the oh, I thought maybe, you know,
[541.6s] that's an exciting role.
[542.6s] Did I take too much?
[543.6s] It was too much over here.
[545.2s] No, you're good own it.
[547.7s] Before your eyes Wallace begins to change again.
[551.9s] Their skin begins to dry quickly cracking as it does bleeding and oozing.
[558.4s] Their clothes pulling into their body and returning as black and blood red robes.
[567.3s] The drying skin reforms slowly to a young man with brown skin and short tight-curled hair.
[576.1s] And he lets out a scream and soars through the air towards you and grabs
[582.4s] Mannix by the scruff of the neck carries them out over the hoard where
[589.1s] Shangalar releases Mannix.
[593.1s] You begin to see their body fall and as it does the door slams shut and disappears in front of you.
[603.4s] A second passes which seems like an eternity as the room begins to hum and spin with black and green and purple.
[615.0s] And behind you, you see a portal taking shape.
[620.4s] It cracks open and you hear screams.
[626.5s] In the swirling energy you hear a rushing cascade of liquid which then forms around the circumference of their portal
[634.9s] and two figures become dimly lit.
[639.9s] Slowly, the two become visible.
[644.2s] First, you see your lost friend Lipsynche followed closely behind the imposing figure of Vorunax.
[655.8s] Well, Lipsynche, it's time that we get down to what are you three doing here?
[665.5s] Actually, I don't know you.
[666.8s] It's two. Sorry. One just got carried out. You don't know that, but there's two here now.
[672.5s] Thanks for rubbing it in. Yeah, there was three of us and our friend just got snatched.
[677.2s] I have your third friend. Actually, I don't. Lipsynche, would you still consider them friends at this point?
[683.4s] Oh, of course. I love these guys. They got me out of prison.
[686.3s] They let me get sucked into a portal into the abyss where I got to spend a lot of time with you.
[692.0s] Yes.
[692.6s] So I guess I have a lot to thank them for.
[695.3s] That's true. We both have a lot to thank.
[697.9s] Orcus has a lot to thank you both for.
[700.5s] The Decimators have truly, truly done Orcus a great service.
[705.9s] What are you doing here, though?
[707.5s] Well, destroying a Lich, obviously.
[709.7s] Hey, Lipsynche, that was really passive aggressive.
[713.2s] We did not mean for you to get sucked into that portal, girl, and we felt really bad about it.
[718.9s] Like really bad. I thought you were going to be our third.
[722.5s] I was crushed, personally, just saying.
[725.1s] If you wanted to make it up for me, remember I gave you that bracer or...
[729.3s] Well, you picked up that bracer after I got sucked into the portal.
[732.8s] It had a diamond on it. Any chance you've got that? I could really use it.
[736.9s] Me and V here, we're here to do some business and I could use that handy...
[741.8s] handy shovel, maybe. You got that still?
[744.4s] Um, yeah. Yeah. I don't know. You just called...
[749.7s] You just called this dude V.
[751.7s] He did some pretty, pretty terrible stuff. Whole village.
[754.7s] Yeah, he wasn't exactly the coolest.
[756.3s] Filled with undead. Well...
[758.3s] I mean, I agree calling me V. I'm not one for the nicknames, which, I mean, Lipsynche, but Lipsynche.
[765.5s] You, we understand each other. You do your thing, I'll do mine.
[769.7s] We're still on the same side here, regardless of what these two may have to say.
[774.4s] But, hmm, if you're here to destroy a Lich, perhaps we're not far off the same path.
[783.7s] It's interesting that they're here to destroy a Lich, isn't it?
[786.5s] That's very interesting, Lipsynche.
[788.4s] Are we all destroying a Lich?
[789.7s] Is this like a big Lich kill party? What's going on here?
[793.2s] Hmm. Could be. Depends.
[796.8s] Can I ask y'all a question?
[798.2s] Yeah, sure.
[798.8s] I don't know, is it going to be all passive aggressive and stuff?
[801.8s] Maybe. Spend a lot of time in the Abyss, things change. I don't know what to tell you.
[806.6s] What do y'all think about Shangalar?
[810.0s] So far, not a fan.
[812.3s] No, kind of a big jerk.
[815.4s] It's got our friend in a cage, and now a room that isn't there anymore.
[820.1s] He's got this stupid-ass flying pyramid that is just a giant maze.
[826.2s] I don't care what anybody says.
[827.9s] I was never a fan of Shangalar's bravado either.
[831.1s] Oh, isn't he all up, all about himself?
[834.2s] Like, sure, he made a good bathroom and stuff, but who pretends to be their own librarian?
[841.6s] It's all very ostentatious, isn't it?
[843.8s] It is. If you're going to be evil, just be evil.
[847.8s] Thank you.
[848.8s] You don't need to have the whole, like, song and dance about it. Jesus.
[853.3s] Well, remember when we met V and he did this big reveal and goat head and floating rib cage?
[859.2s] And it was pretty amazing, but it was like...
[861.2s] It was amazing.
[862.8s] It wasn't all drawn out and,
[865.2s] chase me through a pyramid, I'm going to destroy a whole world, blah, blah, blah.
[870.9s] Like, I mean, I do have to give it to you.
[873.9s] I mean, like, theatrically, it was pleasing.
[878.0s] Like, just visually.
[879.3s] You didn't expect it at all.
[881.2s] No, no.
[882.0s] Completely off guard.
[883.1s] Came out of nowhere. It was great. Well done.
[885.5s] Exactly.
[886.5s] Yeah.
[887.2s] Now, I will say, in the past, yes, I may have tried to, quote unquote, act like your friend.
[894.3s] I'm not here to do that today.
[896.3s] Okay, good, because you know what?
[898.4s] I'm tired of having friends.
[899.8s] Not you, Flint.
[901.3s] Not you, Donnie.
[903.1s] I just mean every time we get one, we lose one.
[905.9s] I'm tired of losing people.
[907.5s] Lipsinki, you fall into that category, too.
[909.8s] Sorry we lost you.
[911.5s] It's nice to see you again, though.
[914.1s] It's real nice to see you, too.
[916.2s] I got to tell you, I met this man in the abyss, not V.
[919.1s] V's great.
[919.9s] His name was like...
[921.8s] Oh, Grant...
[925.1s] Grancis?
[926.4s] See, his face just goes...
[928.2s] Never heard of him.
[929.3s] Because I had to endure. It was just the worst.
[936.1s] Doesn't ring a bell. Nope.
[940.2s] Okay, well, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
[942.7s] That sounds, sounds real awful.
[944.8s] How do you end up in the abyss?
[946.2s] Oh gosh, I don't know. He was just always talking nonsense.
[948.7s] He sang all the time.
[950.9s] You're like, corporeal? Like, could you stab him if you wanted to?
[955.2s] Not that you'd want to, but like, if you had the urge.
[958.0s] Like, do you think blood would come out? Just curious.
[960.5s] Or pancake batter?
[962.4s] We don't have pancake batter in the abyss.
[964.8s] There's no pancakes in the abyss.
[967.7s] No.
[968.7s] Unless we make a body into a pancake.
[971.5s] Kind of. Sort of.
[973.4s] Everything's very blood-based, I would say.
[978.3s] As the energy fades in the room, you hear just on the wind,
[981.2s] That's why it's my hell!
[984.2s] Orcus has gotten big into ultimate frisbee,
[989.9s] but he uses bodies as the frisbee.
[993.7s] Oh, that'd be awful.
[995.2s] I mean, if you hate being spun around.
[997.7s] The thing is, it doesn't kill you down there.
[1002.2s] You experience every second of it.
[1005.6s] You should see what we use for hacky sacks.
[1008.0s] Oh boy.
[1008.8s] Sinky, don't spoil anything for them.
[1011.9s] That's right. Leave some to the imagination.
[1016.0s] Also, I hope I never find out.
[1018.3s] Well, there's always hope.
[1021.9s] Especially when you side with Orcus.
[1024.5s] For we will eliminate despair for people.
[1027.3s] And I know I said earlier, I'm not here to be your friend.
[1032.6s] But I'm not here as your enemy.
[1035.4s] At least not at this point.
[1036.9s] The friend of, wait.
[1039.3s] Something.
[1040.3s] Thea looks towards Flint.
[1043.3s] The enemy of my enemy is my friend?
[1046.8s] My friend's enemy is my enemy?
[1049.7s] Somebody's enemy friend's enemy.
[1051.4s] Frenemies.
[1053.0s] Frenemies.
[1054.2s] Kyle was like, you can go on.
[1056.0s] Potentially. Nailed it.
[1057.7s] Tell me more.
[1059.7s] Okay.
[1060.7s] I don't want to side with Orcus.
[1063.3s] Just straight up.
[1064.6s] You know?
[1065.9s] Okay.
[1067.1s] Just saying.
[1067.8s] I just, you know, I'm just managing your expectations.
[1070.2s] But that doesn't mean we might not have a common goal here.
[1072.6s] Just because I'm not going to follow you down later.
[1075.2s] I mean, there's always tomorrow, am I right?
[1077.4s] Exactly.
[1078.2s] Like priorities.
[1081.2s] I'll never stop trying.
[1083.7s] You know what? I love that about you.
[1084.9s] Yeah, you got to respect the hustle.
[1087.0s] Yeah.
[1087.3s] Exactly.
[1088.2s] I mean, this is a man who knows what he wants.
[1091.2s] He's one of the most tenacious people in the abyss.
[1093.9s] And that is saying something.
[1095.1s] Maybe we should start calling him Tenacious V?
[1098.8s] I like that.
[1101.0s] That is top notch.
[1102.8s] Tom doesn't have to say anything else for the entire podcast.
[1105.5s] He did it, folks.
[1112.7s] Okay. Now, if you could just whip us together, Kyle,
[1115.6s] maybe like a Tenacious D greatest song in the world,
[1119.0s] but like Orcus kind of theme.
[1122.2s] This is the greatest lord in the multiverse.
[1127.5s] No.
[1129.7s] This existence is a tribute.
[1134.1s] I got it in one.
[1139.3s] So did you all come here with a plan?
[1144.1s] I'm going to re-murder a lich.
[1149.7s] Of course.
[1150.1s] We've got to find him first.
[1150.9s] He's pissed.
[1151.9s] We may have anchored him a little bit.
[1155.5s] How did you do that?
[1157.7s] Just by existing, I think.
[1160.4s] I threw a fireball at him.
[1162.7s] Oh, that's good.
[1163.8s] It's good stuff.
[1166.0s] Flinch, you use that moist tongue on him yet?
[1168.9s] Not yet, but you know, maybe he needs a little help
[1171.7s] putting out that fire.
[1172.9s] Maybe.
[1174.9s] He had my Donnie.
[1175.9s] So I just kind of want to like stab and stab
[1179.2s] and fire bolts and like, oh.
[1182.0s] But and then also maybe watch someone else do that
[1184.2s] so I could really get a good view of it.
[1187.8s] Now, Shang-a-Lar had a little Donnie, your gold wormling?
[1194.2s] Yeah.
[1194.7s] Just Don-ee.
[1196.6s] How did that happen?
[1198.6s] Well, we were attacked by a giant lightning.
[1202.4s] I love that we're just right now just standing in the hall.
[1204.8s] Like we know.
[1206.2s] But we're just catching up.
[1207.4s] Just catching up.
[1207.8s] And it's just kind of dropped into a horde.
[1209.8s] That's fine.
[1210.6s] That's good.
[1211.0s] I like it.
[1212.4s] In my mind, here's what happens.
[1213.9s] The door shut, time froze.
[1216.5s] He's still dropping, and he may be dropping forever.
[1220.7s] We'll find out, I guess.
[1222.5s] Wow.
[1224.7s] So yeah, so we were attacked by these big gorilla kind
[1229.6s] of things that seem to come from lightning.
[1234.5s] OK.
[1235.9s] Yeah, there is.
[1236.5s] That sounds terrible.
[1237.4s] Well, and in all that, they spooked our animals.
[1241.3s] Everything was lost.
[1242.7s] And we started to put the pieces back together,
[1245.9s] and Don-ee wasn't there.
[1247.1s] We've been searching for him ever since,
[1248.7s] and we only just found him.
[1250.3s] And I open up my bag of holding,
[1253.3s] and Don-ee's all curled up inside.
[1254.8s] I'm just looking at him.
[1256.2s] He's tuckered.
[1257.8s] That's just a little fella.
[1259.7s] He was bigger before.
[1261.5s] Yeah, he was.
[1262.4s] He had a special collar that helped him out with that.
[1267.2s] Well, I'm glad you guys are back together.
[1269.7s] That makes my heart really happy.
[1272.1s] Oh, I'm glad.
[1273.8s] Lipsinki, what did we talk about happiness?
[1277.4s] Oh, that's right.
[1278.2s] I mean, I don't care about that at all,
[1280.2s] because all meaningful connections with other creatures
[1284.2s] beyond orcas are pointless and useless,
[1286.2s] and they're not worth doing.
[1288.4s] That's what I meant.
[1289.4s] Oh, you guys have been practicing a lot.
[1291.0s] Yeah, it was pretty rote.
[1292.8s] Yeah, that must be really hard to go against here,
[1295.9s] because you are such a caring, vivacious, really
[1299.8s] worried about other people kind of person,
[1303.2s] and it must be really hard to squash that all the time.
[1306.5s] No, orcas does not keep its followers from caring.
[1312.1s] We care very much about fulfilling his whim,
[1318.7s] about seeing fit the world meet the expectation of the Great
[1325.2s] Lord.
[1327.2s] Yeah, I can care about orcas-related matters
[1329.5s] as much as I want.
[1330.7s] Have at it.
[1331.8s] I encourage it.
[1338.0s] So, V, I don't know.
[1339.7s] It's nice for me to see my friends.
[1341.2s] That's a nice surprise, but we probably
[1343.3s] should do something about Shangri-La
[1347.0s] and he's doing all his business, right?
[1351.8s] So you two agree we could work together despite you not
[1358.7s] wanting to.
[1359.7s] You sure you don't want to side with orcas?
[1361.3s] No, pretty sure.
[1362.0s] I mean, we're pretty sure.
[1362.9s] Clint?
[1363.4s] Yeah, we're fairly sure.
[1364.9s] I mean, we'll talk about it a little bit more later.
[1366.6s] And I mean, the option's always there, right?
[1370.0s] Well, maybe it is.
[1370.9s] Like, it doesn't expire.
[1372.5s] No, it's good to keep your options open.
[1375.2s] But maybe we should talk about, you know,
[1377.4s] like, A, game plan for taking this guy down,
[1380.8s] and then B, what happens after?
[1383.9s] Because what are you guys looking to get out of this?
[1387.7s] Oh, yeah, why do you want him dead?
[1389.3s] We want him dead because he's a dick
[1390.7s] and he's just destroying ancient cities up here,
[1393.9s] which sucks because culture is important.
[1396.5s] Well, Andy's got that thing for the dragonborn in me.
[1400.0s] Yeah, yeah, and Flint's got, like,
[1401.7s] a personal stake in this, just saying.
[1404.6s] Right.
[1406.4s] Our reasoning, at least, I would
[1409.9s] like to see Shangri-La replaced.
[1413.6s] Actually, replaced by Lipsinki here.
[1416.9s] I believe Lipsinki has the potential
[1418.9s] and power to fill in those shoes.
[1423.3s] So more of a Litch-Sinky.
[1425.1s] Yes, Litch-Sinky.
[1426.5s] My god, you're so on right now.
[1429.0s] Wow, Tom, you need to pump up gifts
[1431.3s] before every episode record.
[1434.4s] Flint, are you sure you don't
[1435.5s] want to bring that rapier wit to the court of Orcus?
[1438.9s] I mean, again, good to have options,
[1441.0s] but I think Thea's right about this one.
[1445.1s] He doesn't laugh often.
[1446.5s] Well, see, I feel like my talents would be wasted.
[1449.1s] Hmm, that's fair.
[1452.0s] I'll get y'all soon enough.
[1454.7s] But not yet.
[1455.6s] Not yet, no.
[1456.2s] It's good to have goals.
[1457.5s] We have other matters to attend to.
[1459.2s] For sure.
[1461.2s] So were you guys coming in here with a plan?
[1465.0s] Oh, well, are you familiar with Litches?
[1471.5s] Have you done your study, you know?
[1473.8s] You know, if you spoke with Orcus, of course,
[1475.9s] he'd tell you all about it.
[1477.2s] Oh, of course, of course.
[1481.5s] You know, I'm not tight with any deities,
[1485.6s] but definitely keeping it on the back burner.
[1487.8s] We need to find his, I want to say Horcrux,
[1490.5s] but I know that it's just Harry Potter thing.
[1493.5s] Phylactery.
[1494.4s] Phylactery, that's it.
[1496.3s] Good.
[1496.8s] It's way funnier.
[1498.4s] It's a word that actually means something else.
[1502.8s] True.
[1503.4s] Yeah, so we need to find his phylactery
[1505.7s] and do away with that.
[1509.0s] I mean, but if we could like maybe hit him in the face
[1512.8s] and maybe destroy him with a sunbeam or something
[1516.5s] like that in the meat, like just also,
[1518.7s] because I feel like dying sometimes just isn't enough.
[1522.8s] No, sometimes it isn't.
[1524.7s] Should we find his phylactery first
[1526.9s] and then maybe beat him up a little bit?
[1531.4s] I mean, we can certainly look for it.
[1534.7s] I apologize, didn't think I'd be saying that to you,
[1538.9s] but I mean, he totally knows that we're here.
[1541.3s] And I'm pretty sure that he controls every aspect
[1545.9s] of this hell in the sky.
[1549.4s] And it might be a little bit difficult to find it.
[1554.1s] Agreed.
[1554.8s] Unless your orcus has told you
[1558.0s] any sort of helpful information in finding it.
[1563.1s] Let me, and I bow my head, close my eyes.
[1566.1s] Orcus, orcus, orcus, orcus.
[1569.1s] Oh, I don't know.
[1570.1s] It doesn't, must be something with this pyramid.
[1573.6s] Bad reception in this pyramid.
[1575.1s] Just not getting through.
[1576.6s] It is the defiling nature of Shangalar
[1579.6s] using orcus's talents for personal gain.
[1583.6s] So, okay.
[1584.6s] So wait, he's, oops, did I say that?
[1589.6s] You sure did.
[1590.6s] So this is more of a demotion.
[1593.1s] Dead motion.
[1594.1s] Well, yeah.
[1595.1s] So he just didn't live up to his side of the deal here?
[1599.1s] Something to that effect, yes.
[1602.1s] Between us friends, the thing you need to know
[1604.6s] if you're considering following orcus,
[1606.6s] which I recommend you do,
[1608.1s] is that it's best if you use the powers
[1612.6s] orcus instills in you
[1614.1s] to kind of progress the things he's looking for.
[1618.6s] Not carry on your own sort of personal vendettas.
[1623.1s] Yeah, I could see that, right?
[1625.1s] It's like spending the company dime.
[1627.1s] Yeah, exactly.
[1628.1s] It's like photocopying personal things at the office.
[1630.6s] You shouldn't really do it.
[1631.6s] Maybe a little bit you can get away with,
[1633.6s] but when you start printing off whole monster manuals.
[1637.1s] Sent to no one in particular on this Zoom call.
[1639.6s] Definitely not pointed at all.
[1642.6s] I feel like literally three of the five people
[1645.6s] on this call have done that.
[1646.6s] Maybe the other two, I don't know your lives.
[1652.6s] Okay, well I get it.
[1653.6s] So you know what?
[1655.6s] What you're saying is everyone should be fearing orcus,
[1659.6s] but instead they're fearing Shangri-La.
[1663.6s] Shangri-La?
[1665.6s] So close.
[1666.6s] Stay so close.
[1668.6s] Fuck that guy's name.
[1669.6s] Since he's kind of a phony,
[1671.6s] in my personal opinion,
[1673.6s] I like Sham-galar.
[1675.6s] I'm totally down with that.
[1678.6s] Yeah, he's just a big phony.
[1681.6s] Took what was given to him and just tainted it.
[1685.6s] All right, well I guess you don't shit all over orcus
[1688.6s] and his power and get away with it.
[1690.6s] So we're guessing up to the top?
[1694.6s] I guess so.
[1695.6s] Power?
[1696.6s] That's a good guess.
[1697.6s] Full actory?
[1699.6s] Yes, we will get to the top of his pyramid scheme.
[1702.6s] You look around you and you realize
[1704.6s] you're still in a sealed room.
[1707.6s] Well hey, we're lucky that this room didn't just start
[1709.6s] shrinking all of a sudden or whatever, right?
[1712.6s] Yeah, that would've been fun.
[1714.6s] And as Amy says that.
[1717.6s] I like toss Russ' book to the ground.
[1719.6s] He's got nothing.
[1720.6s] Quick, let's riff.
[1724.6s] So first we have to get out of here.
[1726.6s] I'm assuming maybe since you can't talk to orcus,
[1730.6s] you also can't create another portal
[1732.6s] to get us just to the boom top?
[1734.6s] I guess.
[1735.6s] Let me try one more time.
[1738.6s] And I'm going to pull out the wand of orcus,
[1743.6s] which I'm sure does something that is other than
[1747.6s] what I'm about to do.
[1749.6s] Orcus, orcus, orcus.
[1751.6s] Orcus, orcus, orcus, orcus.
[1753.6s] I pull out the wand of orcus and I kind of
[1758.6s] wave it in a fashion and the jaw opens up,
[1761.6s] revealing a portal on the wall opposite of what we entered.
[1766.6s] And I think we can kind of see through it
[1769.6s] and we wind up seeing like, oh, that looks like
[1772.6s] a main layer there.
[1775.6s] Probably walk through that.
[1777.6s] Yeah, so orcus does provide, he senses,
[1780.6s] he senses his servant needing his aid in this moment.
[1785.6s] Gotcha.
[1786.6s] But he also used his caller ID,
[1789.6s] and so it doesn't answer you all the time.
[1792.6s] Because you need to figure some things out for yourself.
[1795.6s] I am quite zealous, yes.
[1797.6s] Oh.
[1798.6s] But.
[1799.6s] A little needy.
[1800.6s] It has served him well so far,
[1802.6s] and it shall serve him well today.
[1805.6s] What do you suppose it sounds like on his end?
[1807.6s] Is it all like ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring,
[1809.6s] orcus phone?
[1810.6s] Do, do, do, do, do, do.
[1813.6s] What you see through this portal is a well-lit chamber,
[1818.6s] torches all along the side.
[1819.6s] There's a red carpet that goes up the center of this room.
[1824.6s] And at the top of three stairs,
[1829.6s] there is a pedestal.
[1831.6s] And on top of that pedestal looks to be a large vase
[1837.6s] or jar of some sort.
[1839.6s] Oh, I thought you said vape.
[1840.6s] Could you maybe say urn?
[1841.6s] Oh, vape, vape.
[1842.6s] No, no, no vapes.
[1843.6s] Just a large vape.
[1846.6s] Yep.
[1847.6s] Vase or.
[1848.6s] And there's Shangri-La.
[1851.6s] No, I said it wrong again.
[1852.6s] Caller flip.
[1853.6s] Chamgalar, remember?
[1855.6s] Chamgalar.
[1856.6s] Yeah.
[1857.6s] No, you don't see that.
[1858.6s] So that's what you see through the portal
[1859.6s] before you step through.
[1861.6s] Lipsinki, would you care to come ahead with me first?
[1864.6s] Yeah, I've always kind of wondered
[1865.6s] what a phylactery looks like.
[1866.6s] You think that's it?
[1868.6s] I'm just so excited to be out of the abyss, you guys.
[1870.6s] I bet you are.
[1871.6s] That's fair.
[1872.6s] Yeah.
[1873.6s] The four of you begin to walk in through the portal.
[1877.6s] And as you begin to step in,
[1879.6s] the energy around you expands and elongates.
[1883.6s] And that image gets smaller and smaller in front of you
[1887.6s] and then begins to swirl.
[1890.6s] It's like you're caught in a tornado or a cyclone
[1895.6s] and you begin to spin physically.
[1899.6s] You hear laughter from all around you.
[1905.6s] And then you pop out.
[1907.6s] The energy just explodes out.
[1910.6s] Everybody make a dexterity saving throw.
[1914.6s] These are the ones I'm bad at.
[1915.6s] Seventeen.
[1916.6s] Me too.
[1917.6s] Thirteen?
[1919.6s] Twelve.
[1920.6s] Eighteen for me, Russ.
[1922.6s] Flint and Thea, you fall out
[1923.6s] and you land and grab onto a narrow platform
[1928.6s] around the perimeter of this chamber that you've landed in.
[1932.6s] You manage to pull yourself up quickly.
[1935.6s] Vorunax and Lipsinkie, you are holding on just to the edge,
[1940.6s] just barely missed this edge.
[1944.6s] And below you is a sea of undead.
[1949.6s] Can I try to make a grab for Lipsinkie?
[1952.6s] Absolutely.
[1953.6s] Yeah, I want to try to do that.
[1954.6s] Both of them are holding on, but they have missed them.
[1958.6s] Oh, I thought you said they just barely missed it
[1962.6s] and are falling.
[1963.6s] Sorry, they barely grabbed hold of it.
[1966.6s] Like fingertips.
[1968.6s] Like the hang in there kitty poster.
[1970.6s] Exactly.
[1972.6s] I yell, hang in there kitty.
[1975.6s] I'll help Vorunax.
[1977.6s] What do I have to roll?
[1978.6s] Nothing, you just go help them.
[1980.6s] Oh, I just go help them.
[1981.6s] Yes, I'd like to help.
[1982.6s] Sorry, because I rolled an 11.
[1984.6s] Fault your death again.
[1985.6s] I'm a gnome, I'm quite small.
[1987.6s] You both reach down and pull Vorunax and Lipsinkie up
[1990.6s] and you look around this room
[1992.6s] and it's the room you saw originally,
[1994.6s] Flint and Thea, through the doorway before it shut.
[1997.6s] Out in the very center of this room,
[2000.6s] about 100 feet into the middle is Yen Bull
[2005.6s] seated on a stone column cage around her.
[2010.6s] Around the perimeter is a five foot wide walkway
[2014.6s] around the perimeter of this room.
[2016.6s] It's 100 feet by 100 feet.
[2018.6s] At the middle intersection of this room,
[2021.6s] there are bridges that go out about 50 feet
[2024.6s] and then a center walkway that goes around,
[2028.6s] but you can't, there's no bridge that gets to Yen Bull.
[2032.6s] Below you, like I said,
[2035.6s] is a thousand square feet covered with undead creatures.
[2041.6s] The sound in here is ear-shattering.
[2048.6s] You look up and you see four glowing orbs.
[2054.6s] One blue, one black, one green, one red.
[2058.6s] And the ceiling in this room
[2062.6s] goes up straight and then it peeks,
[2067.6s] slants up towards the middle
[2070.6s] and then rather than meeting in a point,
[2074.6s] there is a smooth surface, smooth ceiling surface
[2079.6s] that is approximately a 50 foot square
[2082.6s] that comes to in the center.
[2084.6s] So it's like a hidden loft space.
[2086.6s] Exactly.
[2088.6s] How trendy.
[2090.6s] Right.
[2092.6s] You observe your surroundings
[2094.6s] and then you hear laughter from all around you
[2098.6s] and then you hear Shangu'lar's voice and he says,
[2103.6s] Oh look, you brought reinforcements.
[2107.6s] How's it going Vsauce baby?
[2112.6s] Shangu'lar, you realize when it's all said and done,
[2117.6s] Orcus will have you.
[2119.6s] Oh yeah, how's Pop Pop doing? I haven't seen him in a long time.
[2124.6s] That's not his name.
[2126.6s] Well, it's what I'm allowed to call him
[2128.6s] because I'm a little bit closer to him, I think.
[2134.6s] I'm going to murder you.
[2136.6s] Oh yeah, you're going to murder me.
[2138.6s] That's what you're going to do.
[2140.6s] Okay, that's going to be a lot of fun.
[2143.6s] You've got to find me first. Catch me if you can.
[2147.6s] Believe you me, we will.
[2149.6s] Make a dexterity saving throw there, Vernaut.
[2154.6s] Another 12.
[2156.6s] From up top, about 20 feet above the center of where Yenbul is,
[2162.6s] you don't know who Yenbul is, but the person in the center,
[2165.6s] a fireball begins to form and cascades down towards you.
[2171.6s] At this moment, Russ, can I use,
[2174.6s] it's a feat, my warlock feat, called Dark One's Own Lucked,
[2177.6s] and once we're short rest, I can make an ability check
[2179.6s] or saving throw and use this feature to add a d10 to my roll.
[2182.6s] Yeah, absolutely.
[2184.6s] It does say you can do so after seeing the roll,
[2186.6s] but before the effect occurs.
[2188.6s] Yeah, it hasn't, I mean it's happening, but you know, it's...
[2191.6s] Yeah, it's a 14. I got a 2.
[2195.6s] Why are you rolling like me, Kyle?
[2198.6s] I don't know.
[2199.6s] I didn't think I was going to be the one to try and kill you so hard, but you know.
[2203.6s] It is what it is.
[2204.6s] It is what it is. Did you save? Probably not.
[2210.6s] No.
[2212.6s] So you're going to take 8d6 fire damage.
[2215.6s] Shit!
[2216.6s] And anybody beside him also make a dexterity saving throw,
[2219.6s] which is, I think, at least Flint.
[2222.6s] Probably me, yeah.
[2224.6s] You did help him up.
[2226.6s] No good deed goes unpunished.
[2228.6s] That is a 20, but not natural.
[2231.6s] Okay, you're going to take half.
[2233.6s] So Vorunax, you take 38 fire damage.
[2237.6s] And Flint, you're going to take 19.
[2239.6s] Okay.
[2241.6s] And let's roll for initiative, friends.
[2249.6s] It's the middle time now.
[2256.6s] That's where you get to jump in.
[2258.6s] Just waiting.
[2261.6s] Sometimes there's the reprise that comes back.
[2265.6s] There was a look of just about to sing on Russ' Facebook.
[2269.6s] I was waiting for the staccato part.
[2271.6s] That'll be next week.
[2274.6s] Got it. Staccato. Write down the notes.
[2277.6s] One talk to staccato.
[2279.6s] One talk to staccato.
[2281.6s] These are my notes for middles, everybody.
[2284.6s] They don't make any sense.
[2285.6s] Not really.
[2286.6s] Not to anybody.
[2287.6s] But you know what does make sense?
[2289.6s] A huge thank you to our guest today and to the next episode maybe.
[2294.6s] An absolute best friend ever.
[2296.6s] Absolute bestie.
[2297.6s] Kyle Classic from Bombarda.
[2299.6s] Thank you, Kyle.
[2300.6s] Thank you so much, Kyle.
[2302.6s] Kyle, you rock.
[2303.6s] Kyle's coming back as that Vorunax.
[2306.6s] A little twist to the character this week.
[2309.6s] But we love having him.
[2311.6s] And Vorunax is just a delight.
[2313.6s] So we just keep bringing them back.
[2315.6s] Time and time again.
[2316.6s] If you haven't checked out Bombarded, we strongly urge you.
[2320.6s] Super fun.
[2321.6s] To check them out because they sing original music every episode.
[2325.6s] They have a ton of fun.
[2326.6s] Kyle runs an amazing game over there.
[2328.6s] So please do go check them out.
[2331.6s] Next.
[2333.6s] One talk about Patreon.
[2337.6s] Patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast.
[2340.6s] We're making some tweaks over there to make things a little bit better for our patrons and for you potentially.
[2344.6s] We would love you to come visit us.
[2346.6s] We have a tier called the goods tier.
[2348.6s] It's $50 a month.
[2350.6s] But when you're at this tier, every month you're there, you accrue towards working towards merchandise.
[2357.6s] Exclusive patron merchandise that you can only get through Patreon.
[2362.6s] And every year that you're able to be at that tier goes into a little spreadsheet to say, yep, you did this month.
[2368.6s] Every month you're able to be at that tier.
[2370.6s] Every month.
[2371.6s] You do not have to stay for years and years.
[2373.6s] That's what I meant.
[2374.6s] That's what I meant.
[2375.6s] Every month.
[2376.6s] You know what I meant.
[2377.6s] Right.
[2378.6s] But just in case.
[2379.6s] Just in case.
[2380.6s] So every month that you're at that tier, we tally it up and then it's cumulative.
[2385.6s] So if you're able to stay for three months, earn that first piece of merchandise every three months.
[2391.6s] So if you're in that first level, which is an exclusive sticker pack, then you got to drop down.
[2397.6s] You come back.
[2398.6s] You're already on the way to the next one.
[2400.6s] That's true.
[2401.6s] We're not going to start you back at zero.
[2403.6s] And of course, if you're at that level, you get everything from the levels below that.
[2406.6s] So that's still like the in-world stuff.
[2408.6s] So you can submit NPCs and items for Zed Mart.
[2411.6s] And of course, you get to listen to all the bonus content.
[2414.6s] And there's lots of it.
[2415.6s] Producers meetings.
[2416.6s] I said producers.
[2418.6s] Producers meetings.
[2420.6s] Not so easy, is it?
[2422.6s] Speaking?
[2423.6s] Yeah.
[2424.6s] For me? Never.
[2425.6s] Never.
[2426.6s] But yeah, you become a sporting producer at that tier as well.
[2428.6s] Mentioned in the credits, you might have heard some amazing people mentioned there.
[2432.6s] That could be you too.
[2433.6s] And we'd love to have you there.
[2434.6s] But they also get an extra meeting every couple of months with a couple of us to talk about their game.
[2439.6s] Talk about our game.
[2440.6s] Talk about what's on TV.
[2442.6s] You know, whatever is feeling good.
[2446.6s] That's what we talk about.
[2448.6s] Dang, that $50 tier sounded good.
[2450.6s] Indeed.
[2451.6s] Right?
[2452.6s] Yeah.
[2453.6s] So come check it out.
[2454.6s] Patreon.com slash dumb dragoncast.
[2455.6s] If you're with us at any tier, any of them, come find us.
[2460.6s] We're over there.
[2462.6s] Now let's go see if Vorunax is going to stir up some stuff.
[2465.6s] I bet he's going to.
[2466.6s] I bet he is.
[2467.6s] I bet he's going to do it.
[2469.6s] No spoilers.
[2470.6s] Okay, bye.
[2471.6s] Bye.
[2472.6s] Bye.
[2473.6s] Oh, there goes all my good rolls, y'all.
[2475.6s] That's a six.
[2477.6s] I also got a six.
[2478.6s] Oh, roll off.
[2479.6s] Lame roll off.
[2480.6s] Lame roll off.
[2481.6s] That was a good time to get a one.
[2483.6s] That's a four.
[2484.6s] Yeah.
[2485.6s] I got a six again.
[2486.6s] Vorunax is not nearly as intimidating as I remember him being now that he's on our side.
[2491.6s] Also, he's like out in the wild now.
[2495.6s] He's not all like power of orcas.
[2498.6s] Russ, I guess my one translates into a seven after bonuses.
[2503.6s] Oh my God.
[2504.6s] You have one?
[2505.6s] I thought you said something higher than me.
[2507.6s] No, he said a one.
[2508.6s] Oh, jeepers.
[2509.6s] Okay, hold on.
[2510.6s] I didn't think I'd have to.
[2511.6s] I'm winning with a 12.
[2512.6s] Come on, everybody.
[2513.6s] Russ, is Yen Bull conscious?
[2518.6s] Yeah, you can roll Yen Bull in.
[2521.6s] Wow, this is.
[2524.6s] You guys.
[2525.6s] Yen Bull got a 15.
[2527.6s] Fuck yeah, she did.
[2528.6s] Great.
[2529.6s] Well, Yen Bull gets to go first.
[2532.6s] That's helpful.
[2533.6s] She just rattles her tin cup on the cage.
[2536.6s] That's right.
[2537.6s] It's loud in here.
[2539.6s] She's got that tin cup in her teeth.
[2540.6s] It's really sad.
[2541.6s] She's like.
[2543.6s] As this fireball explodes,
[2545.6s] Shangri-La laughs again and says, Oh, boy, that was fun.
[2549.6s] You there with the with the axe.
[2553.6s] You look like you're going to be some some difficulty, aren't you?
[2557.6s] Make a Constitution saving throw for me, please.
[2561.6s] I can do that.
[2562.6s] You get a plus four because of my aura.
[2565.6s] Oh, that's very fun.
[2567.6s] All right.
[2568.6s] All right.
[2569.6s] After my plus four and his plus four, that's a 22.
[2572.6s] OK.
[2573.6s] I think that plus four came in very handy.
[2576.6s] You see ghostly apparitions come up from the bellows of this undead hoard
[2583.6s] and they form into humanoid figures and beasts and they're clawing
[2589.6s] and reaching for you, Flint, and they charge you.
[2594.6s] You're going to take half of 52 necrotic damage, just 26 necrotic damage.
[2602.6s] Does anyone else think one of us is going to die tonight?
[2605.6s] And as they hit you, the apparitions, like they move through you
[2609.6s] and then disappear behind you.
[2612.6s] Yenbul's turn.
[2614.6s] So Yenbul, you've seen your friends.
[2617.6s] OK, you tell me what Yenbul does, because now you're playing two characters.
[2620.6s] I don't like it.
[2621.6s] I do this all the time, Russ.
[2623.6s] Not well.
[2624.6s] So Yenbul has been in this very frightening place for like a bit of time now
[2634.6s] because there was a little switcheroo.
[2637.6s] You guys caught on.
[2638.6s] So Yenbul's been here for a while in this very frightening place.
[2643.6s] So I think, yeah, the only we can't see Vorunax, right?
[2649.6s] We can just see this roiling mass of undead.
[2653.6s] Well, we want to kill Vorunax, too.
[2655.6s] I can see Vorunax. He's just over there.
[2657.6s] Hello.
[2660.6s] I don't even know who that guy is.
[2662.6s] I'm Yenbul.
[2663.6s] Yeah, we can't see a Shangri-La.
[2665.6s] It's just all the undead, right?
[2667.6s] You would have seen, OK, so Yenbul's position, you would have seen,
[2672.6s] I'm pretty sure the fireball would have caught your attention
[2675.6s] because it was right 20 feet above your head.
[2678.6s] You would have seen a flash of his form behind that fireball.
[2685.6s] OK.
[2686.6s] I think that I am still going to, well, first I'm going to say,
[2692.6s] my friends, I'm so glad you are here to save me.
[2697.6s] It's really far away.
[2698.6s] I yelled back.
[2699.6s] Sorry we didn't notice you, weren't you?
[2701.6s] I assumed you had also been taken.
[2704.6s] You were just yelling back and forth, we didn't.
[2707.6s] We're going to do our best.
[2712.6s] I'm going to cast Shatter at third level, so that's going to be 4d8,
[2719.6s] and that's focused on, they have to make a con save, the undead.
[2725.6s] Seven.
[2728.6s] We're rolling high tonight.
[2729.6s] That won't do it.
[2731.6s] So they take 25 damage.
[2735.6s] OK, your Shatter goes off, and it's like glass breaking,
[2739.6s] and it cuts through the noise, and you see a wave of undead fall to the ground.
[2744.6s] Some of them stagger back up, but others stay laying down.
[2749.6s] Anything else you would like to do or can do?
[2752.6s] So cage around you, metal bars.
[2755.6s] This was going to be my question.
[2757.6s] Does this seem escapable at this moment?
[2760.6s] There doesn't appear to be a door.
[2762.6s] I'm a spellcaster anyway, so it's not like I want to get up in there.
[2768.6s] So for now, at some point I would like to be released from this cage,
[2773.6s] but as there is no bridge, it's fine.
[2777.6s] So as your turn ends, you feel movement below you, and you begin to descend.
[2785.6s] Do you know what it's like to hate your husband on a regular basis?
[2789.6s] Can you feel for me right now?
[2791.6s] At a rate of 10 feet around.
[2794.6s] Oh, that's a torturously slow drop.
[2797.6s] I love it.
[2798.6s] Yeah, it's good, isn't it?
[2800.6s] OK, great, great, great, great.
[2802.6s] Thea.
[2803.6s] You see Yenbul crack Shatter, and then she begins to,
[2808.6s] the entire platform, the entire column begins to move down.
[2812.6s] You hear the sound of grinding stone that's rumbling amidst the zombie groans.
[2818.6s] How far down are the zombies from where I'm at?
[2821.6s] 50 feet.
[2822.6s] That's a long way.
[2825.6s] OK, here's what I'm going to do.
[2828.6s] I'm going to run, I'm going to like scooch past Lipsinki,
[2836.6s] be like, excuse me, pardon me, excuse me,
[2838.6s] and then I'm going to run 15 feet away from her and the group for safety.
[2845.6s] Towards a bridge or towards a corner?
[2850.6s] How the bridges are 50 feet.
[2852.6s] Doesn't matter.
[2854.6s] It actually doesn't.
[2855.6s] Towards a corner.
[2856.6s] I don't care.
[2857.6s] OK, great.
[2858.6s] You're in a corner.
[2859.6s] Cool.
[2860.6s] And then I reach into my bag of holding and bring out my Tome of Thunderstep,
[2864.6s] and I say, I open it and I read,
[2868.6s] and I smash the book closed.
[2871.6s] And as I do, I teleport to Yen Bol.
[2876.6s] OK, so you're on top of the cage or you're within the cage?
[2879.6s] Is there no beside the cage?
[2880.6s] No.
[2881.6s] It takes up the entire top of this platform.
[2884.6s] All right, well, I can use this more than once.
[2887.6s] So I'm inside the cage with her.
[2889.6s] No, I'm not.
[2891.6s] I'm on top of the cage.
[2892.6s] I'm holding onto the bars.
[2894.6s] OK.
[2895.6s] With one hand, and I'm putting the book back.
[2897.6s] Great.
[2898.6s] Is there anything else you would like to do?
[2899.6s] Go.
[2900.6s] You OK?
[2901.6s] Well, I've been better, but thank you so much.
[2903.6s] It is nice to see you in this terrible place.
[2906.6s] It's great.
[2907.6s] I'm so sorry about this.
[2908.6s] I want to look up where the fireball was.
[2911.6s] Is anything up there?
[2912.6s] Can I see anything?
[2913.6s] Nothing's visible.
[2914.6s] Nothing's visible.
[2915.6s] OK, so what I would like to do.
[2918.6s] So you just see the four glowing orbs of varying colors.
[2921.6s] OK.
[2922.6s] I would like to cast Moonbeam.
[2927.6s] I'm going to cast it at third level.
[2932.6s] OK.
[2934.6s] And I would like to Moonbeam one of those orbs.
[2941.6s] Blue, black, green, red.
[2944.6s] Obviously black.
[2945.6s] OK, so.
[2946.6s] Why obviously black?
[2947.6s] Obviously.
[2948.6s] OK.
[2949.6s] Me.
[2950.6s] Geez.
[2951.6s] So how tall is this column?
[2954.6s] This column is 120 feet.
[2957.6s] Wait.
[2958.6s] Hold on.
[2959.6s] No, it's a five-foot radius, 40-foot high cylinder.
[2963.6s] OK.
[2966.6s] It can just float?
[2967.6s] Yep.
[2968.6s] Because it comes from the sky, essentially so.
[2973.6s] The sky.
[2974.6s] The sky.
[2975.6s] OK.
[2976.6s] Well, you would definitely hit the orb.
[2978.6s] It wouldn't continue to carry down to.
[2980.6s] That's fine.
[2981.6s] Because the orb needs to make a Constitution saving throw.
[2986.6s] It fails.
[2987.6s] Cool.
[2988.6s] Give me damage.
[2989.6s] Does the orb take damage?
[2990.6s] Yep.
[2991.6s] Roll damage.
[2992.6s] OK.
[2993.6s] Thirteen.
[2996.6s] Brilliant damage.
[2997.6s] What's that called?
[2998.6s] Radiant.
[2999.6s] Thank you.
[3000.6s] Your Moonbeam fires off and you hear cracking of what you can only describe as glass.
[3006.6s] You don't hear the explosion of the orb, but it begins cracking.
[3009.6s] I whisper to Yen Bull.
[3010.6s] Those seem important, so I want to break one.
[3013.6s] And then it is Shangalar's turn.
[3015.6s] Oh, no.
[3017.6s] Don't do those.
[3018.6s] You might just destroy the reason you came.
[3023.6s] Destroy those orbs.
[3025.6s] Hold on a second.
[3026.6s] What's in the orbs?
[3027.6s] What do you mean, what's in the orbs?
[3029.6s] Don't destroy the orbs.
[3030.6s] Where's this voice coming from?
[3031.6s] Everywhere.
[3032.6s] Oh, you fuck yourself.
[3033.6s] It's the booming voice.
[3035.6s] It's the booming, sarcastic, fuck you voice.
[3038.6s] Fuck you voice.
[3039.6s] It's great.
[3040.6s] Do you say anything back?
[3043.6s] Fuck you.
[3044.6s] OK.
[3045.6s] Well, I can't.
[3047.6s] It's already taken the damage.
[3049.6s] I can't move it because it's not my turn.
[3052.6s] Flynn's going to end up as Bort.
[3053.6s] I don't know.
[3054.6s] Out from the cage, a twenty-foot radius sphere of poisonous yellow-green fog begins
[3065.6s] to appear.
[3067.6s] Make a Constitution saving throw, Yen Bull and Thea.
[3070.6s] Nah.
[3074.6s] I don't do that anymore.
[3075.6s] Nah.
[3076.6s] Poison doesn't affect you.
[3077.6s] No, I'm immune to poison, so nah, it's not for me.
[3081.6s] But I do go, whoo, Yen Bull, is that you?
[3084.6s] Twenty-one.
[3085.6s] Because fart jokes are always-
[3086.6s] Twenty-one.
[3087.6s] You are going to take Yen Bull, half of twenty-one.
[3090.6s] So you're going to take ten poison damage as you inhale this gas.
[3097.6s] So Thea, as you're cracking fart jokes, Yen Bull is taking in noxious fumes.
[3102.6s] Don't try to make me feel bad about my fart jokes.
[3105.6s] It's too late.
[3106.6s] I already did.
[3107.6s] Everybody make a perception check.
[3109.6s] I will not be shaming you.
[3111.6s] Twenty-five.
[3112.6s] Nineteen.
[3113.6s] Twenty-two.
[3114.6s] How about a three, Russ?
[3115.6s] Is a three going to do it?
[3117.6s] That tracks so well.
[3118.6s] And a twelve.
[3119.6s] Okay.
[3120.6s] Anything above twenty, you see a flash of luminescence, not even quite light, but a
[3130.6s] flash of luminescence up near the ceiling.
[3133.6s] It's not a figure.
[3135.6s] It almost looks like there's an opening that you see briefly and then it disappears.
[3143.6s] Okay.
[3144.6s] Flint.
[3145.6s] All right.
[3147.6s] How far away is the nearest orb to me?
[3151.6s] Because we've decided we do want to break the orbs.
[3154.6s] That is what we've we've settled on.
[3156.6s] Yeah.
[3157.6s] But I mean, he may also have that amulet you need inside one of those orbs, you
[3161.6s] know, that might just destroy the reason why you came.
[3164.6s] Nearest one.
[3166.6s] You went for the black one.
[3168.6s] So nearest one is the black one, which has a big old moonbeam on it.
[3174.6s] And that would be so how these orbs are.
[3177.6s] Is there 15 feet above the perimeter, but they're 30 feet out.
[3183.6s] So I'd be somewhat within range for a ranged attack against.
[3188.6s] Yeah, you'd be able to throw.
[3190.6s] So from where you currently are, you're probably between the 50 to 60 foot mark.
[3195.6s] All right. Perfect.
[3196.6s] I will give my dwarven thrower a throw at it.
[3200.6s] Okay.
[3201.6s] Going to throw that thrower.
[3204.6s] That's a 28 to hit on that one, Russ.
[3206.6s] That'll hit.
[3207.6s] Roll damage.
[3210.6s] That'll be 13 damage bludgeoning, I'm supposing here.
[3215.6s] Smashing.
[3216.6s] Yes, bludgeoning.
[3217.6s] Okay.
[3218.6s] Yes.
[3219.6s] Seems like good orb damage.
[3221.6s] Yeah.
[3222.6s] Smash that orb.
[3223.6s] And that good, good orb damage.
[3225.6s] You hear it shatter and come back and flecks of glass or jewel or however it is come soaring through the air and falling to the ground.
[3236.6s] Roll me a d20, please.
[3239.6s] Is it totally destroyed?
[3241.6s] It appears that that orb is totally destroyed.
[3243.6s] Yeah.
[3244.6s] Okay.
[3245.6s] I rolled a 20.
[3246.6s] Okay.
[3247.6s] It's going to be the one time a 20 fucks you, isn't it?
[3250.6s] That's fine.
[3251.6s] I'm sorry, that's the, you just caught a shard to the face and it's over for you.
[3256.6s] Perfect.
[3257.6s] Oh, oh, lucky on that one.
[3259.6s] Oh, missed it there, but just be careful there, Flint.
[3264.6s] What the fuck are you talking about?
[3266.6s] Well, the reason your friend came is in one of those orbs.
[3271.6s] Which one?
[3272.6s] Who knows?
[3273.6s] Oh, you guys.
[3274.6s] It's pinatas.
[3275.6s] I don't think.
[3276.6s] It's just going to fall out, isn't it?
[3279.6s] Well, no, because if it implodes, then it destroys the contents.
[3287.6s] Now, did anything happen with the zombies?
[3290.6s] No.
[3291.6s] Yeah.
[3292.6s] So nothing happened other than it broke.
[3294.6s] Yeah.
[3295.6s] All right.
[3296.6s] So I'm looking at your diagram here as the black one is done.
[3298.6s] Yeah.
[3299.6s] Bottom right.
[3300.6s] Just fucking pinatas, glass pinatas.
[3302.6s] I'm going to make my way over to one of the platforms towards the cage.
[3307.6s] I know there's nothing that reaches it, but walk out to the center inner ring.
[3311.6s] Yep.
[3312.6s] And I'm going to try throwing my dwarven thrower at the cage for the part that
[3318.6s] Thea isn't on and see if I can like bust it open or do anything to it.
[3323.6s] Cool.
[3324.6s] Remind me how you're on the cage, Thea.
[3327.6s] I'm on the outside the way an excited child would be looking at like a caged
[3332.6s] animal.
[3333.6s] So side.
[3334.6s] Yeah.
[3335.6s] OK, cool.
[3336.6s] Got it.
[3337.6s] I was more so picturing the way that the one actress Zoe Bell is on the car in
[3343.6s] Death Proof.
[3344.6s] Yeah, I was sort of picturing on top too.
[3347.6s] Is there a spot that I can throw at that she is?
[3351.6s] Oh, absolutely.
[3352.6s] Yeah.
[3353.6s] She will say she's probably on I don't know for certain, but you know,
[3356.6s] we'll say she's on a side and you could hit another side.
[3359.6s] OK, I'm going to try for like something at the bottom just to see if it so
[3363.6s] hopefully it doesn't structurally fucked anything up.
[3366.6s] That'll be I have like a plus 13 to hit.
[3370.6s] It's not.
[3371.6s] Yeah.
[3372.6s] Twenty eight on that one.
[3373.6s] Oh, yeah, baby.
[3374.6s] You hit it.
[3375.6s] Give me some damage.
[3378.6s] That is 12 bludgeoning damage.
[3381.6s] Great.
[3382.6s] Thea make a dexterity saving throw.
[3385.6s] This is just like vibrate my entire body down to my bones.
[3390.6s] Yeah.
[3391.6s] Oh, no.
[3392.6s] Eleven.
[3397.6s] You see the hammer fly through the air and it connects and sends vibrations
[3403.6s] through the entire cage, so much so that it begins to hurt your hands and
[3409.6s] vibrating up your arms.
[3411.6s] The vibration continues.
[3413.6s] You see it like it's moving the gas that's surrounding you.
[3418.6s] And you let go just for a second and you begin to fall backwards down
[3424.6s] towards the horde.
[3443.6s] The song Long Road Ahead is by Kavin McLeod of Incompetech.Filmmusic.io.
[3447.6s] All other music and sound effects can be found at EpidemicSound.com or
[3451.6s] BoomLibrary.com.
[3453.6s] A huge thank you to our supporting producers, Gabriel Lynch, Cat
[3456.6s] Waterflame, Devin Michaels, Jacob Madden, Christian Brown, Stevie,
[3460.6s] Jessica Babyok, and Darylith.
[3462.6s] To find out more about how you can support Dumbgeons & Dragons,
[3465.6s] visit us at Patreon.com slash Dumb Dragon Cast, where you can have
[3469.6s] exclusive access to 50 plus hours of bonus audio content,
[3473.6s] create in-game NPCs and items, as well as play games with the cast.
[3478.6s] Patreon.com slash Dumb Dragon Cast.
[3481.6s] Have a great week and we'll talk soon.
[3484.6s] This fucking guy.
[3487.6s] Well, Lipsinki.
[3488.6s] Kyle, you're muted.
[3489.6s] You're muted.
[3490.6s] How are you guys doing?
[3491.6s] Hello.
[3492.6s] You have to speeky speak.
[3493.6s] How are we doing?
[3494.6s] Did you just bring him here to just look imposing but now he can't
[3497.6s] talk or anything?
[3498.6s] You're muted.
[3499.6s] I'm still muted.
[3500.6s] I always unmute.
[3501.6s] Thank you.
[3502.6s] There we go.
[3503.6s] I thought I changed that setting.
[3504.6s] I mean, whatever you said, I'm sure it was fantastic.
[3507.6s] It was very imposing.
[3508.6s] You looked very intimidating just peering at us over your microphone.
[3515.6s] Do we want this map in front of everybody?
[3517.6s] Would that be helpful?
[3519.6s] Oh, I'm looking at your map.
[3520.6s] That's exactly how I pictured it.
[3521.6s] Yeah.
[3522.6s] OK, good.
[3523.6s] Well, then that's what it is.
[3524.6s] Good description.
[3525.6s] Thank you.
[3526.6s] I did it.
[3527.6s] You really described something good.
[3529.6s] Dang.
[3530.6s] Waiting.
[3531.6s] It only took five years.
[3534.6s] Sorty Axie Boy, checking his phone.
[3537.6s] Mm-hmm.
[3538.6s] Mm-hmm.
[3539.6s] It's like you just got called out in class.
[3543.6s] That's exactly something I'd say to a sixth grader.
[3546.6s] Whoa.
[3547.6s] Mr. More, calm down.
[3549.6s] Dumbgeons and Dragons is a Dumb Dragons production.