previously on Dumbgeons and Dragons
I don't know. It is a magical flying castle. What are you talking about? How would that work?
Oh, you know what? Fair point.
How does any of this work?
If we find ourselves faced with a choice again, choose to go right.
Okay.
Alright, Mannix, you and me up top and we'll leave these two here.
Then I hope we will see you soon.
I give Flint a hug.
Oh, sure. Yeah, hug as well.
And you hear the sound of like hooves hitting the stone ahead of you and snarling and grunting.
And you turn and you see glowing eyes, all four of you down your respective hallways,
glowing eyes and like smoke billowing from these nostrils that are flaring as a skeleton minotaur charges out towards you.
Awesome.
Welcome to Dumbgeons and Dragons.
I'm your Dungeon Master Russ More and with me today is Tom Laird.
Hey, that's me. First out of the gate. I play Flint Firebeard.
And Amy More.
I put the gate together and I play Thea Amastasia.
And Carla Maxted.
I watch Amy put the gate together while relaxing in a lawn chair and I play Yen Bolnuri.
Carla and I were there drinking drinks.
That's right. We're just having a good summer day.
That's right. Because I just can't with numbers anymore.
So I'm a person who always needs to be doing something.
So I know last episode, I crocheted half of a project.
She sure did.
Yeah, I edited down the wait time when she was deciding which spell to do.
But hey, the dirtiest looking.
Just so if I hadn't said anything, no one would know.
I'm kidding.
I was right in there.
Nick.
Where Amy gets upset with me even more is over on Patreon.
Patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast.
When she plays Night Hunter and I play Opal, it's just it doesn't go well.
It goes great.
It goes really well.
It's very funny.
We have a real good time playing a different game over there.
Tom's the DM.
He has really loosened it up.
More tolerance for our shenanigans, which he needs to because Russ is 85 percent
shenanigans.
That's right.
Russ rolls his eyes when I take an extra moment to think about a spell while I'm
crocheting just to keep my hands busy.
Meanwhile, he's like railroading Tom, creating this crazy world.
And Tom's just like, you know what?
It's world creation is what it is.
It all works out.
And besides, I mean, Carla got to punch a young girl and an old lady in the
last episode that we played to save their lives.
Spoilers.
Patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast can't give it to them for free.
Come check it out.
Join us over there.
When you are a patron.
Old people and young people.
Yeah.
Come check it out.
When you are a patron, you also get an episode dedicated to you like today's
patron, Kelsey G.
Kelsey G.
Thanks, Kelsey.
And now, fuck it.
Let's play.
Yeah.
Skeleton Minotaur.
Wait, what sound does a skeleton make?
I'm sorry.
I scared everybody.
Sounds like a velociraptor.
Yeah, that is my velociraptor sound.
Skeletons don't have tongues or vocal cords.
So it's just.
Yeah.
That's very intimidating.
Yeah.
Flint, make a strength check as this.
Wait, hold on.
Yeah.
As this thing comes careening towards you, Flint, you don't have to do anything,
because it misses.
Oh.
Well, can I toss Mannix's mace back to them?
Yeah.
That's how you can do that.
Absolutely.
You see it coming.
You toss the mace back.
And we're playing.
You see that it's coming.
You see it coming.
And you're doing it with your head.
back and we're back in initiative.
We rerolling same order.
Nah, we'll keep the same orders last time there, eh?
Oh, wow.
Bob and Doug McKenzie showed up, right?
This is our very Canadian episode.
Most people don't know that skeleton minotaur
is the third national animal of Canada
behind the beaver and the moose.
That's right.
Oh, you went moose, I went loon.
Oh, so fourth?
Fourth.
Beaver, moose, loon.
Hold on, elk.
Skeleton minotaur.
I mean, elk and moose are kind of the same.
I feel like elk and moose, like the whole one.
If you're saying loon, though, and it's on the loony,
the elk is on...
The toony?
What?
No, a polar bear's on the toony.
Yeah.
The elk is on the quarter.
Okay, so it's on the quarter.
You know what, who has actual money anymore?
I think it's a caribou on the quarter, isn't it?
Yeah.
I thought it was an elk.
It's a reindeer.
I think it's a caribou.
It's a Rudolph.
Elk is reindeer or elk?
We have fun money, y'all.
Yeah, right?
Come check out our zoo money.
This Canadian only podcast is over on Patreon.
No, it's not.
I'm just kidding.
Yeah, no.
No, that's what we got here.
Okay, Thea, you're up.
I'm going to cast moonbeam.
It's been a while.
It has.
So a silvery beam of pale light
shines down in a five foot radius,
40 foot high cylinder centered on the point of minotaur.
It takes two D10 radiant damage,
but first it needs to make a constitution saving throw.
Why did it cross?
Sorry, did you say this was?
It's only a five foot radius.
Flint's got to make it to.
Oh, sorry, Flint.
It's hard to tell where you are.
I'll stretch down there.
What save do I have to make, Russ?
Con.
Well, con's my good one.
Who good?
A four for the minute.
Ooh, that's a 28.
Well, the 28 definitely passes.
The four, however, does not.
It will take two D10 radiant damage.
You're going to take half of that, Flint.
Okay.
14.
So I'll take seven.
Yes.
Okay.
And on each of my turns after I cast a spell,
I can use an action to move the beam.
But I will also shoot it with an arrow.
I'm going to grab my oath bow.
Are you going to whisper anything with your oath bow?
No, not this time.
Seven.
Seven to hit.
No, 14, sorry.
14 to hit.
14 hits.
Oh, it does?
Yep.
Eight, piercing damage.
So Flint, what you experience
is this radiant burning sensation.
And then the ribs of this minotaur in front of you
crack in.
Okay.
Also, just so that you know,
I didn't whisper it because I can't choose
a new sworn enemy until the dawn of the next day.
Touche.
It's just a little.
Even if the one dies,
if the one dies, can't you call it,
can't you change it?
When your sworn enemy dies,
you can choose a new one after the next dawn.
Well, I guess it is your sworn enemy.
You have to have some kind of commitment.
Yeah, and I just throw that around willy-nilly.
Well, you're my sworn enemy.
No, you're my sworn enemy.
So it's fair.
It's just a bow and arrow now.
Manix is going to swing their mace at the thing.
It's a 14, which will hit.
They rush towards the minotaur.
They need to end their turn in there.
It's not.
Yeah.
They feel the burn,
and the minotaur is going to take some damage.
Seven to be exact.
And I mean, they don't run away
because they don't know what it is exactly,
but they're also going to have to make
a con saving throw.
Yeah.
14.
14 will not save.
So he takes half 2d10.
Okay.
Yell from below.
Get out of there.
Oh God.
Eight, so that's four damage.
Okay.
Flint.
All right, so I am standing in the middle
of this moon beam, even though I can't see it.
Yeah, you got like a, it's a light aura.
Well, no, no, hold on.
The whole creature gets engulfed in ghostly flames.
Yeah, and where you see it, it does.
But that's on your level.
Oh, that's on my level.
But yeah, so it's a little bit brighter than normal.
Exactly.
All right.
Yeah, I guess I'll just do my customary three attacks.
All right.
First one's a 31, second one's a 20,
and the third one is a 19.
All three.
Perfect.
Gotta love those plus 13 bonuses, y'all.
I wouldn't know.
Amy?
Never have occurred to me, no.
I have no idea.
Perfect, perfect.
Okay.
First one, 15, 23,
and 16 more is 39 points of damage.
Holy shit.
Wowsers.
Bones crack, things crunch.
Carry them.
Boom, crack the sound of his bones,
and the beast just crumbles, crumbles,
crumbles, crumbles.
That's how this goes.
That's really good.
Fifi Dobson would be proud, I'm sure.
You beat the HP pool, the health pool, by one.
So tell me how you destroy this.
I guess as I continue to hack into this thing
with my axe, by the third slash,
it's just like bone dust everywhere.
And the creature before you,
the flaming minotaur before you,
crumbles to the ground,
disperses into the ground, Thea and Yenbul,
pile of bones and dust in front of you,
Flint and Mannix.
This spell lasts for a minute.
Okay.
Can I just keep it with me
and just move it forward as we go?
Oh, Flint, you ended your turn.
Make a con saving throw.
Oh, okay.
Oh, yeah.
That is a 24.
Half damn.
It says when a creature enters the spell area
for the first time or starts its turn.
Did he start his turn there?
Oh yeah, he did.
He started and ended his turn.
So you're good though, 24.
Half damage. Half damage, right.
I need to roll that.
And I had to play this game.
It was a one and then it tipped and it was a nine.
Oh, and a six, 15 damage.
Half, half of that, seven.
Okay.
So can I keep my moonbeam up?
Sure, Mannix and Mannix.
I push it far ahead of me.
Yeah, I was gonna say Mannix takes a step back
as he is radiantly burning.
Yeah, I push it forward.
Yeah.
Shall we on?
Yeah, we'll walk slowly behind
the colorful, brighter light that's in front of us.
It's like kind of like a little spotlight
that no one wants to be in.
Thea, how are you feeling?
Are you okay?
Yeah, yeah, no, I'm doing pretty good considering.
Yeah.
Okay, okay, you let me know if you need help.
Thanks, Yannable.
Okay, somebody roll me a D8 as you continue forward
into this maze, taking only right turns.
I'm into it.
Six.
Okay, you carry forward.
Continuing the same, you see,
Flint and Mannix, you see your friends
walking along beside you within this miniature may,
within this miniature tunnel map that you are.
No, we heard the words.
Yeah, no, that was Jeff.
I don't know if anyone heard the word maze.
Map, map, yep.
You see your friends moving alongside you
in this miniature map of the tunnel system
that you're walking through.
The Yannable and Thea, you see out and into
the elongated versions of your friends
walking along beside you.
You carry on for a little ways, taking right turns.
The view of the hallway in front of you,
still maintaining that bit of darkness,
30 to 45 feet in front of you,
almost like it's materializing as you're walking.
Everybody make a perception check as you're walking.
Oh, 23.
22.
We're perceptive as fuck down here.
13.
We're seeing so much down here with our tiny eyes.
Mannix is taken aback by all the sights to see.
Okay, you're all continuing walking forward.
Both Thea and Yannable, you see coming up,
not really clear, but enough that it brings you pause,
what looks like an intentionally raised stone in the floor
that extends quite a ways.
Flint and Mannix, however, do not see it.
As we stop and we look at each other, I'm sure,
do we look up and notice that those two
are continuing to walk forward?
I mean, you would see them continuing to walk forward.
Well, let's see how this turns out.
Is Thea's moonbeam still going?
How long have we been walking?
You've been walking for longer than a minute.
Okay, just go on.
So I was gonna say, we were making a conscious effort
to stay behind it.
To not walk into that?
So I was like.
Searing radiant pain.
If it had stopped, maybe we were stopping.
I leave it like on top of the surface
that they shouldn't go on.
Yeah, here's the spotlight.
Look everybody.
No, it would have been gone.
Okay, no, the two of you walk and Flint,
as you step down,
because I assume you're a bit forward,
as you usually are.
You step down and feel the stone move below you.
All four of you hear a loud rumble.
And then walls drop around you.
You hear a thudding crash as walls drop around you.
Not on top of you, but around you.
You are all standing in complete darkness.
Great.
No one hears that.
Yen Bull doesn't hear that?
Can I cast light?
It's a cantrip.
You can.
As she does that,
I feel out around me.
Do I feel her?
You don't feel her.
You feel stone walls all around you.
Can I cast Produce Flame in my hand
and see if it can?
You produce flame.
After a while, you see and feel
only stone walls in front of you.
And after a while,
you hear the sound of grinding stone,
and they begin to move out of place
and back up over top of you
where you see all of your friends.
Well, Thea sees Yen Bull
and Flint and Mannix see each other.
We're back in our respective situations.
Oh, Yen Bull, that was creepy.
Yes, I could hear nothing.
I couldn't see anything.
I was all alone.
It was very frightening.
Okay.
Is Flint still standing on top of the trigger?
He's standing in the exact same location
he was standing before.
Flint, what do you do?
That's a good question.
What do I do?
But everything's back to normal.
It is as, you know,
before stone walls surrounded you,
it is as you were previously.
After a few, you know,
you were probably anywhere between two and five minutes.
I was just wondering whether or not
our raised rock got depressed when he stepped on it.
Oh, sorry, yes.
Yes, as he did, it also depressed.
Okay, I guess I'll just like slowly step off the stone.
You lift your foot and the stone remains in place.
I turn to Mannix and I say,
so I guess we just keep going?
I guess so.
Should we just keep going, Yen Bull?
Yes, I think so.
I think Flint and Mannix look to the map
and where they see Yen Bull and Thea both shrugging.
And we walk forward.
You walk forward.
You carry on for a ways
and you see along the floor a bit of a glowing light.
It is blue in color
and the more you softly step forward towards it,
it, the light of the torches illuminates
an end to this hallway and a doorway
and below the doorway,
it is emitting this blue light that you're seeing.
The doorway is wooden and carved
and in the carvings you see
it looks like bones carved into the wood of this door.
I'm not gonna lie, Yen Bull,
I'm kinda scared to touch stuff at this point.
Yes, everything in this pyramid is,
dangerous or a trick
and the bones seem particularly a bad sign.
Is it a push door or a pull door?
I don't look like an asshole when I open it.
It is a handled push door.
Flint and Mannix, what are you doing?
I don't know, I guess,
how quickly has Thea reached for this door?
Well, not super fast.
I'm very trepidatious at this moment.
Okay, so I was just curious
if the door like started opening in front of us,
much like the plate got depressed for you guys.
Not yet.
Okay.
There's a moment of hesitation on all parties parts
if you would like to,
is there any point we should check in one of us
with them or are we concerned about
separating the separations?
I mean, it's always a concern
but we can still see them on the map
so I feel like everything's okay.
You look to the map and it shows you this dead end
for lack of a better term
but you do see like a doorway
but nothing beyond is showing up on the map.
It hasn't even occurred to Thea
that we could climb back up the wall maybe
and get back to where they are
because we've already gotten through.
I know, me too.
So, we just live down here now?
I guess.
It's just where I'm at,
like Thea hasn't thought of it at all.
And so I was like, well, we split the party
and now we live in this map world.
Oh, well.
Yeah, I mean, one of them could just touch the map
and come down, we could climb up.
It's, this isn't.
Nope, this is how this is happening apparently.
Why are we like this?
I don't know.
Yes, with Maddox's question, like,
I'll go back to that for a second.
Okay, yep.
I mean, do you think the same thing will work
if we touch this map and head down there?
Or is it like a one time, one room deal
back where we were before?
That I don't know.
Our previous experiments led us to believe that
at least one of us needed to be in the other location
for this to work.
I don't know what would happen if we were all to jump in
on one side or the other.
Well, I mean, maybe it was only that one hallway
to get around.
Maybe now we're free to reign as a group.
It's possible.
And what if one of the realms closes in on itself?
Just asking questions.
Well, then I guess we're all stuck together
if that's the case.
Literally and figuratively, yes.
Perhaps potential mush if it closes in on the walls.
If you would like to go, I can certainly wait here.
I don't know if I feel comfortable
knowing that elements close off
if all of us are in one or the other.
No, I hear what you're saying.
If you don't think it's a good idea,
I'm totally good to stick with you here.
Thea opens the door.
Is the door opening for us?
The door is opening for you, yes.
That's my door opening.
Felt like I was playing Resident Evil.
It was really good, Amy.
Thanks.
You see into the room from your location, Thea,
especially because you're the one who opened the door
and it is a completely blue illuminated room.
Inside, in the center of the room,
you see a glowing crystal.
Oh, pretty.
Suspended in the middle of the room.
It blew his light to this blue little doorway.
Blew his house.
Dab-a-dee, dab-a-da.
Dab-a-da, dab-a-da.
This is the song, yes.
This is the song.
Dab-a-dee, dab-a-da.
Oh, Yen Bull.
At least this is a pretty room.
I'm sure maybe this blue light
will kill us or something.
Yes, but they're right.
It's less frightening than the skeleton minotaur.
Before I go through the doorway,
because I didn't do this before,
can I check for traps?
Yeah, investigate.
Yeah.
Oh, 12.
Everything looks fine.
Famous last words.
Right?
Right.
Yen Bull, after you.
No, I'm totally kidding.
Totally kidding.
If Flynn was here, I'd be like,
Flynn, after you.
That's fair.
It's just a habit.
Okay, well.
Do we go in?
We can't just stay here.
I feel we must.
We can't just stay here.
Let's look at this.
This whole room seems to be built around this one thing,
so I must assume it is important.
And I wanna go check out the,
it's suspended, did you say?
Yeah, it's just floating there.
Appears to be suspended in the center of the room
as you enter, if you all enter.
Oh, Yen Bull and I enter, yes.
I can't speak for Flint and Matt.
Yeah, I mean, if we see them entering,
we'll enter as well.
All four of you enter the room,
and you see before you that illuminated blue charm,
which is emitting this blue light.
And on the floor, you see carvings or engravings.
Flint and Thea make a check, perception check.
Ah!
That good?
11.
It went great.
It was a two, but I had a plus nine,
so it was the only thing that saved me.
16 for me.
Not even saved.
Flint, you immediately, also, okay,
so Flint, you walk into this room.
You see the map.
It goes up to the doorway,
because it's been following you,
and then sucks back onto the wall to the left
as you enter the room.
So it's no longer following us, it's now fixed?
Well, it's not necessarily fixed.
As you walk into the room,
it still moves along the wall,
but it has- It's taken a left, and-
It has to follow a wall in order to proceed forward.
Okay.
Flint, particularly, these carvings are very reminiscent
of carvings you saw, well, in Blackpool.
You recognize them immediately.
Thea, you recognize that they're familiar to you,
but you can't quite put your finger on it.
I've seen these somewhere.
I have...
They seem familiar.
I...
Oh, I can't think where.
Mannix, do you know anything about Orcus?
He's one real bad dude.
Unlike Bahamut, who's a real cool guy.
Who's a real cool guy.
Real cool guy.
No, some, not an extensive amount.
We had a bit of a run-in with some of his followers,
I guess you would call them,
and the town they were in
had a lot of these carvings in it.
Right.
So, that might be something we should be aware of.
We have seen these carvings throughout parts of,
parts of our time here in the pyramid.
Is it safe to say that perhaps Shangalar
is in some way connected to the occurrences?
I mean, it would make sense to me.
Interesting.
I don't know what that does for us
in this specific moment, but...
The carvings are of words or pictograms or?
More, yeah, just images of bones, bone structure.
There's no real words to them.
Just images of skeletal forms or just specific bones.
Right, but I don't recognize them?
No.
As like, okay.
How big is the crystal?
It's about the size of a tennis ball.
Okay.
It's a lot smaller than I thought it'd be.
I was picturing it like tiny or enormous.
Right.
Yeah, I was thinking possibly disco ball.
I was going enormous, yeah.
Okay, glad I asked.
This seems more portable.
Are there any exits in this room?
No, there are not, just the one you came in.
But does our roof, sorry, do our walls stop
and we can see?
Oh yeah, can we still see our friends up above?
You can, yeah.
Okay, so the whole structure of the place
hasn't changed.
The rules are still the same
as far as that's concerned.
Do I know anything about crystals?
She went through a phase in college
where she was like getting tarot cards.
They sent her your chakras, you know.
Reading a lot about Wicca.
Always carrying quartz in my pocket.
We all did it.
Yes, we did.
You can make a history check
and tell me what you're looking for in particular.
If I know of this particular kind of crystal,
if this is like a famous crystal,
if this is like.
Is it Billy Crystal?
20, not Nat.
You don't know this particular crystal
and it doesn't look like anything natural.
I wanna take it.
I have the urge to take it.
Do you think that,
remember we saw the carvings of the faces
and we touched them and we transported.
Do you think the crystal will help us do something?
We seem to have come to a dead end.
Maybe.
What if it's powering this whole situation
and we plummet out of the sky?
Oh, I had not considered that.
I mean, we could technically call that a win, I guess.
Yes, not for us, but for the greater good.
No, definitely, yeah.
Okay, well, what about this?
And I take a little, I've got like
like a little leather coin purse.
And I show it to Yenbul and I say,
what if we take this
and kind of scoop it out of the air
so we don't have to touch it
because I feel like touching stuff.
Yes, yes, I think this is a good idea.
What if we touch it and die or something, you know?
Yes, I don't want that to happen.
If I die, can you take care of Donnie?
Yes, of course, of course.
Flint's not here otherwise, you know.
Yes, I will care for your small dragon friend.
Thank you.
Should we take it?
Ah, jeez, I don't know.
I mean, do you see?
There's no other egress.
Do we have another option?
After the door we walked in,
but I presume that would lead us back
to where the path we took
if we were to take all left turns to get back there.
And there's nothing else on the map?
He goes over and looks at the map.
I see our friends, Yenbul and Thea within the room
walking closer.
Does it show the little bag?
They are moving with a tiny satchel
towards the center of the room.
Perhaps they are going to take it for us?
Yeah, I mean, I guess just prepare yourself
for whatever's gonna happen next.
All right, we will let them do the dirty work
and take the charm back down to Yenbul and Thea.
I carefully am going toward it with my leather bag
and I lift it up and hover it above the crystal
and then quickly put it down and scoop it up
like catching a fish.
And then I whoop and I pull on the two string ends
to tighten the top of the pouch.
So you are holding, you have in your possession,
in your hand, the pouch with the crystal.
As Mannix is narrating this for you,
what he's seeing on the image there, Flint,
you see the crystal in front of you disappear
before your eyes.
Says, I think they got it in the bag.
So now what?
Thea, you are holding it by the strings.
The strings.
And feel a pressure on your wrist.
You look down and you see a tattoo of sorts
begin to form on your skin of a crystal,
very similar to the one in blue
that you just put into the bag.
Yimble?
Yes?
And I lift my wrist and I show her the crystal.
Oh, I did not realize you had a tattoo there.
It's very nice.
It, I don't.
It just showed up.
Oh, oh, I see.
Oh, it is a-
And it could have been uglier.
It's a nice tattoo.
I guess it is some sort of magic tattoo crystal.
It is nice.
Maybe it gives me special powers.
Can I search within myself
to like know whether or not I feel different magically?
Yeah, you can make an arcana check.
Yeah, I wanna do that.
That's only a 13.
You don't immediately, you don't feel any different
other than the new image on your wrist.
Cool.
Okay, Yimble, I'm thinking
this is gonna kill me immediately, which is cool.
Maybe- Yes, it's a good start.
Since there's no way out.
You look behind you now
and there is a doorway on the wall.
Oh, I've spoken too soon.
I think you have done it.
Flint and Mannix, you see as if being drawn into place
this doorway form ahead of you.
Yeah, I guess we start making our way over towards it.
We see them walking towards it
and do the same, I suppose.
Let's keep the party separate together.
You all proceed towards the door and it opens
and it looks very similar to the hallway
that you've been walking down, torch lit, fading light.
You continue walking rights only.
Yeah, we made a deal.
We did, even though we can totally see each other
on the different maps and stuff,
we're just gonna stick to going right out.
Well, I mean, if ultimately if we come to a dead end
and there's no way to go forward,
then we know that an alternate turn will have to happen.
That's true.
But like easy way to map out a maze
when you only turn one direction.
That's true, right?
It's like we had a plan.
Yeah, right.
Russ hasn't told you
how many times you've turned though, so.
I know.
Yeah.
But we'll just tell Russ that we go exactly back
the way we came because we're all aware
of how many times we turned.
And then we'll all take lefts.
Totally, player knowledge, character knowledge.
Characters know more than you do at this point.
That's great. That's really true.
Yeah, almost always.
Almost always.
Yep.
Okay, you continue down the hallways taking right.
Somebody roll me a D8, please.
It's your turn, Amy.
Oh God, here it goes.
Seven.
You walk for a while and nothing of any great urgency
occurs until you get to another location
where you see a faint light up ahead of you.
And the color of that light is purple.
Well, this seems familiar.
Keep going.
You carry forward and there's another door
in front of you, purple light emitted below.
Carvings again, very similar on the door.
There is a circular engraving,
but it's like a clean slate.
Almost like there would be,
have something carved there,
but there is nothing there.
You open the door and inside, very similar room.
You see a purple charm about the same size
as the blue one that you had just taken
and carvings again on the floor circling this crystal.
Your turn.
Yes, I will take this one.
I also pull out a small sack.
I assume we have them in our gear.
I think so too.
We just use them to carry things, you know,
old timey stuff.
Yeah, salted meats and stuff.
Et cetera, exactly.
Our gorp.
Gorp.
Ha ha ha ha.
Welcome to the middle.
Hi, how's it going?
It isn't just Russ here,
but we would have let him talk by himself
for a while. I was just waiting.
But then he asked a question,
which wasn't really to us,
but sort of was to us.
And I felt like, oh, I feel so rude.
I'm not answering.
I love watching the Zoom call
when there's like this slight hesitation
with everybody's face.
They're like, should I talk here?
Or is he doing one of these weird things
where he's talking to the listener again?
Which isn't a weird thing at all,
because that's basically what podcasting is.
It's just the whole point of this whole thing
that we're doing.
It's who we talk to all the time.
Yeah.
Speaking of talking to our listener,
you, you lovely person, you,
thank you for being here with us.
We often talk about our Patreon
and kind of every year we make a few changes,
mix things up a little bit
to make sure that we're offering the,
only the best and only things
that people wanna be hearing.
And we've done that
and have made some tweaks and changes.
And this month we are releasing a special bonus episode,
maybe two, probably two,
because it was a long recording
of a special Halloween episode
that the four of us got together and recorded,
featuring Moot, Glim and Sully,
which I'd like to say is a one shot
and will never come up again in main story.
But, you know, sometimes things tie in
and this was probably gonna be one of those
because it left a real good mark on everybody.
Well, we were all such Halloweenies trying it, so.
But that's for our patrons
over on Patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast.
So if that's not you,
and Russ wasn't actually talking to you
this whole time,
what he means is we'd really love to see
because we do a lot of fun stuff like that.
And all the audio is at our $5 a month tier
and we put out a lot of extra audio every month.
I mean, we do weekly episodes
and then Facing Fate weekly episodes
when we're in release there.
But yeah, Tom's got a sweet game that he runs
called The Adventures Of.
Monthly for that one.
And then these bonus episodes that come up,
which we have a ton of fun with.
And, you know, we just keep trying to bring
some fun adventures for you and for us
because we love to play them.
So check it out, Patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast.
We'll see you over there.
Now get you back to this episode
and see if eventually we'll get out of this
not maze that we're in.
It's not looking good.
I have a strong feeling that it might be soon.
You're hoping.
We'll see.
Fingers crossed.
Okay, bye.
Bye.
Yenbul walks forward with a bag.
And again, flint and Mannix, you see
moving up and down arms with a bag above their head.
And then the gem in front of you disappears.
And Yenbul, you have a bag with this purple gem inside.
I'm gonna pull up my sleeves
to see if I have a sick new tat.
You don't immediately, but you watch for it.
And then the gem in front of you disappears.
But you watch for a second
and then it slowly comes into view on your wrist.
Twinsies.
We look so cool.
I bet they're going to be so jealous
if they don't get any of these crystals
and they don't have new tattoos when we finish.
I think we should let flint get the next one,
but hopefully it's a tramp stamp for him.
I mean to overwrite the one he already has.
Wait, is that already canon
that you've got a lower back tattoo?
I think it might be.
I can't remember.
It sounds like something.
It sounds right.
From the naked interrogations, right?
It sounds like something you might have.
Yeah.
Listeners, if you can remember better than we can,
think like back maybe three years ago.
Does one have a lower back tattoo?
We need to know.
And if so, can we get some art on that?
Because I think him turning around,
bending over, shirt comes up a little bit.
Little peek there.
On the wall behind you,
you see again the door drawn into place.
And then if you wish, carry forward.
We do.
Yes.
Another half an hour or so goes by.
I'm piggybacking on Yenville.
The is piggybacking on Yenville.
You're walking down.
Carry me.
Hearing sounds, but never coming across anything.
Hearing groans, echoes in the distance,
but never coming across a figure.
You make it to another door
and beneath that door is a green light.
Should we let them get this one?
I feel that we should make sure
they understand what is happening
and they take one and the door appears.
Maybe it's best we don't put all of our crystals
in one basket, as it were.
Yes, we don't put all of our tattoos on one arm.
Yeah, I'll open the door.
Okay, the door opens.
How long did you stand in front of it
thinking the girls were gonna do it?
I mean, longer than I want to admit.
Mannix and Flint, we just see them
staring at the pictograms on the wall
and then the pictograms look to them
and like big wink, like one eye disappears
and then reopens and then Flint knows it's okay to enter.
On the door in front of you,
you see the same, the slate,
the circular slate that was clean in the last room.
There is at least a partial carving of like a hip bone.
The pelvic bone.
Is it connected to the knee bone?
It is not, because that would be weird.
Wouldn't it be the leg bone?
That's right, wait a minute.
It's weird world we're in.
No, yeah, it's like the pelvic bone,
roughly sketched in the middle of the circle.
You open the door, you look in
and it is very, almost identical
to the room's previous carvings on the floor
and a green crystal gem in the middle.
All right, I guess I slowly walk forward with the bag.
Again, Flint and Mannix staring at the pictograms
waiting to see the little bag.
You see the little hands go on the hips.
You see the foot go out and tap, tap, tap, tap, tap.
Waiting over here.
I guess they are waiting for us to grab this one.
I use the novelty bag with a dollar sign on it
that Thea gave me for one Saturnalia festival.
Yeah, Thea, you recognize it
in an outstretched fashion immediately.
Ha, knew it would come in handy.
Unless you otherwise state,
you walk forward and pull the bag over top.
It disappears to you, Yen Bull and Thea
and you see a new door drawn in.
God, I hope it's a back tat.
Me too.
Or ankle.
Do I notice anything on me?
You feel a pressure on your wrist.
You're pretty like armored up, aren't you?
I mean, yeah, I'm sure I could take off
some sort of van brace to take a look.
Yeah, you put it into the bag,
pull the strings or however the bag secures itself.
You feel this pressure on your wrist
and you look and you see a tattoo
of a gem-like image, green in color,
appearing on your wrist.
I realize you're saying crystal
and all these tattoos I'm picturing
are actually D20s, is what I am picturing
every time you said it.
I have a tattoo of a D20.
If that's what you see, then that's what you see.
That's totally fine, yep.
Game represents game, yep.
The door appears on the wall
as it has in other rooms.
No, I think we keep going.
You carry forward.
It feels like something's happening.
We don't know what it is, but something.
You carry forward, the echoes continue
through the halls as you walk down them.
You get feelings that you're being watched
or followed, but every time you turn around
and wait or move to go towards them
in either area, the big world or the small world,
you don't see anything.
You carry on in other ways
and you get to the end of a long hallway
and you come up to a door.
There's no light under this door
or none that you can see anyways.
And on the door, you see that the slate,
the pelvic bone, and what looks like a spine
now carved into this doorway in front of you.
Yeah, I guess Team Real World opens up the door.
You open the door, Flint and Mannix, Yenbul and Thea.
Thea had a marker outstretched
and was just about to draw a penis
on it when the door opened
and she's like, ah, missed opportunity.
Door opens before you and inside you see,
and you do see a room very similar to the one previous.
There's the carvings, circular carvings on the floor.
But it's illuminated by a black,
almost super dark purple light.
So the room isn't super well lit.
And it's coming from this black looking crystal
in the middle of the room.
This one looks creepy.
I'm going to go in my bag and find something white
to see if it glows in this light.
Maybe some sort of psychedelic mushroom poster.
Yeah, I like that.
It glows, the iridescence of it.
You even see it just faintly in the big world.
That's cool.
Have you been carrying that poster in this entire time?
Yes, well, when everything went so bad in Calumport,
I was on my way to get it framed
for my cool psychedelic room at my house.
That's awesome.
Maybe if it is not destroyed,
I will take you there one day.
That'd be great.
You know what?
We should hang this poster in this room.
You're right, a little, we were here present
for Shangri-La.
I mean, he won't be able to fully enjoy it
because we're totally gonna take that crystal,
but yeah.
You look up into the big world
and you see Flint and Mannix staring down at you.
They see us.
They see little.
Just like laughing.
A little poster, they're laughing.
Now it's up on the wall.
It's back and forth.
And then a poster appears on the wall,
if that's where you put it.
It's glowing with all, it's like,
all the lines and all the colors are illuminated
by this light that's being emitted.
I look at Mannix and I say,
well, this one's, I guess,
a little different than the rest, but same idea.
I guess so shall I take it.
Well, I mean, everyone else already has one.
So, sure.
Who knows how many of these things there are.
Right.
Okay.
He grabs a bag and begins moving towards the crystal
and puts it over top.
And it disappears for Yen Bull and Thea
and goes into the bag for Mannix.
He feels a pulse or pressure on his wrists
and looks down, says, did you get one of these?
I did, I have an idea.
And I hold out my bag with the dollar sign on it
to like switch bags with him.
Okay.
He passes it to you, you pass.
So he has the green one, you have the black one.
Yeah.
The tattoos on your wrist morph color before your eye
as you grab and hold onto the bags for a second.
So they change entirely.
It's not like I get a second one.
Yes.
Okay.
Hmm.
Interesting.
I guess, switch back.
I am kind of attached to that bag
with the dollar sign on it.
It was a gift, you know.
Sure, yes, of course.
He hands it back to you, takes back the black one.
Is there a new door?
Did anything else weird happen
other than that this was a black one?
I will say this conversation was quick.
And as the gem is taken,
this quick exchange is happening,
Oh wait, Russ, can I try one more thing?
Yeah, sure, go for it.
Can I have both of the bags?
Sure, yes.
He hands you back the bag carrying the black gem
and on your wrists,
almost like they're piled on top of each other,
there's a green and a black gem.
Huh.
What do you see?
Mannix looks down to his wrist and says, mine's gone.
I mean, I have both now.
Interesting.
What are they doing up there?
They're just passing bags back and forth.
I know, we have been down here.
We put up a poster.
All they had to do was just grab the crystal.
I don't know.
At least you get a little break.
I know you were tired.
Thanks for carrying me that few minutes there.
It's slower this time,
but a door does slowly begin to appear
and there's a bright light
that comes from it as it's appearing on this wall.
Yeah, I'll hand his black one back to him
just because it doesn't make sense for me to have both.
Or does it?
I don't know.
Who knows?
I have no idea.
Okay, you hand it back to Mannix
and he looks down and the tattoo reappears on his wrist.
The doorway slowly begins to appear.
It took longer than it did in the last few rooms,
but there's almost like bright golden light
that is coming from behind it now.
Ooh, this one's pretty.
For a moment, I've almost forgotten
that we're in a lich's flying pyramid of doom.
I know, it seems like we are just on a fun adventure,
not fighting for death to save my beloved homeland.
All right, Thea opens the shiny door.
You open the door, Flint and Mannix,
the door opens before you.
And as the door cracks open,
inside there is a hideous cacophony of sounds,
groans, screams, moans.
And as the door swings up, unless you stop it.
Yeah, no, I slam it shut.
It goes silent.
Oh, this is a bad room.
You look behind you and the door you entered is gone.
Of course it is.
Okay, well that door's not there anymore.
Ah, is there like a keyhole I can peek my peeper through?
Flint and Mannix, you see the door slowly open,
you hear that sound and then it slams shut.
You look down and the two figures,
there's like question marks above their heads,
exclamation marks, and they're looking at each other,
waving arms in the air.
Like we just don't care.
Just don't care.
Sorry, I'm just looking to see if I have like,
silence or if I have something, I don't think I do, but.
I cast Flaming Sphere and I'm just like,
holding onto it.
Okay.
I'd like to, can I ready in action
if this door opens up and things start coming at me?
Can I throw a Flaming Sphere at them?
Yeah, because Flaming Sphere,
you can move on each of your turns, right?
Yeah, absolutely.
Yeah, you can have it readied.
I want it ready.
In the image, Flint and Mannix,
you see just this flaming ball
pop up beside Yenbul and Thea.
Is it just like a brighter space in their world?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Hopefully they learn their lesson with the moonbeam.
Time will tell.
I guess we'll see.
Okay.
All right, let's try this again.
Are you ready?
I'm gonna take some like,
little scraps of fabric or something
and maybe shove them in my ears a little bit
so it's a bit less cacophonous.
Sure.
I wanna do that too.
You are allowed to do anything, yep.
Anything?
No.
You're not allowed to do anything with it.
I've removed my ears.
Yes.
In the image, you see them put in like,
big plugs into their ears.
Like comedic size.
I kinda look at Mannix and say like,
yay, nay, what do you think?
For going through the door
or putting big plugs in our ears?
I mean, both, I guess.
Yeah, I mean, I don't have any of that size.
I don't know where it,
maybe it's specific to their realm,
but I don't know.
I don't know if there's any right answer.
There's no door behind us anymore.
Yeah, I guess just get ready.
They grip their mace a little tighter
and move towards the door.
The door opens, the sound comes back.
It's muffled for Yimbo and Thea.
And inside, you open the door
and step out onto a ledge.
The ledge goes around the perimeter
of this square room,
but what catches your eye is the pit below you.
Filled with undead.
There are hulking orcs,
skeletons, zombies,
wights,
banshees wailing in the distance.
And in the center of this room,
you see a pillar that comes up.
And on top of that pillar
is a cage with a figure in the center.
Who's huddled,
has her fingers in her ears.
And you see before you in this cage,
Yimbo.
The song Nowhere Land is by Kavin MacLeod
of incompetech.filmmusic.io.
All other music and sound effects can be found
at epidemicsound.com or boomlibrary.com.
A huge thank you to our supporting producers
Christian Brown, Darylith, Devin Michaels,
Gabriel Lynch, Jacob Madden, Jessica Babyok,
Kat Waterflame, Mark Heartless, and Stevie.
To find out more about how you can support
Dumbgeons & Dragons, visit us at
Patreon.com slash dumbdragoncast
where you can have exclusive access to
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Patreon.com slash dumbdragoncast.
Have a great week, and we'll talk soon.
All right, well, I'm going to cast...
Okay, yep.
I'm going to cast our...
No, not that one.
I mean, she's just doing this in spite now.
Russ is making a great face, aren't you?
Do you like that?
Dumbgeons & Dragons is a Dumb Dragons production.